I want to learn to love myself, but don't know how to put my own interest first in the list. Help !?

Question

Over the years, I realize that the more sincere you are with a relationship (of any kind, not just romance), the easier you get hurt. So I have been trying to protect myself by keeping a distance and trying hard not to give my real feelings away. However, I always end up either not truly happy or finally give all my true feelings out, which then, again, get myself hurt. I an very tired now..... and the only thing I want to achieve now is to protect myself, to love myself..... to put myself on top of the list...... Why is it so difficult to love myself when others could do that so easily. Help !

Answer 1

I've been in therapy for years for this one & it's very difficult...beside the fact that depression runs in my family...but at some point you just realize that you're missing out on too much in life to keep putting your life on hold for others & until you learn to love yourself, you'll never be able to sustain a healthy relationship outside of yourself. Don't know that that's answered your question, but building a wall around your heart isn't going to do it. I think the first step towards loving yourself is learning to forgive yourself for any past mistakes you may have made & then you'll slowly learn how to make the other fall into place. It is, however an ongoing, evolving, process & we'll always need to be growing & learning to nurture ourself, otherwise I fear we won't be long for this world.

Answer 2

We are all too hard on ourselves. We see ourselves quite differently than other people do...maybe cause we live with ourselves all the time. Life is about taking chnaces. The more you try to protect yourself, the more you miss out on. You just gotta have some faith in yourself & some in others. I realize that that is a very hard thing to do in this world. But for every disappointment, there are many more triumphs in life. Just cause things don't go your way all the time, doesn't mean that that isn't the way it's supposed to be...we are here to learn lessons from life. Some of those lessons include disappointments. Some of the lessons are about learning to love unconditionally...yourself & others. I took a chance & took a leap of faith & met my husband & we have been married happily for 15 years...if I hadn't gone outside of my ivory tower, I would've missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me.

Answer 3

I don't know where you think others find it so easy to do. I have found that it is one day at a time and not to be hasty.I make a point to do things that I love doing for myself and not feeling guilty about it. Just say no,can you do that.I use to look in the mirror and form the word
NO,just to imprint in my mind so I could get use to saying it to help me not let people take advantage of me,might sound funny but it worked for me.

Answer 4

I recommend Christian counseling. They will teach you to love yourself and how to know who you are.. I had to leave society and live in the mountains for 3 years to find out what I was all about. I found out I was a pretty good guy. Since then life has been great.

I know how it feels when it comes to love. I was hurt severely in the 70's and I haven't been in love since. God has done wonders in my life though as far as my concerns for mankind.

Answer 5

hello!you knw wat, to b hurt s part of loving, f u dnt get hurt, you dnt know how to love. But before all of this you should learn to love yourself first,ok?give part also to yourself. hope F u dnt mnd F I ask u dis, how old r u?,...Dnt b hurry, I know God has a perfect love story for u, jst wait. Don't search for love, let love search for you,..ok?so cheer up!B happy! and always wear your beautiful smile,anyway sometime smile makes someone falling for u,.....Hav a nice day!