Who lets thier child (children) sleep with them?

Question

All along I swore (before having my kid) that they would "never" sleep with us on a regular basis, but only on special occasions such as bad dreams and scary stormy nights. Buuuuuut! After my kid started sleeping in his own bed, he ended up crawling
in bed with us in the middle of the night and now it is pretty permanent. I am usually a pretty tough, put my foot down mom, but this is a battle I have failed to fight for long. He sleeps better and we sleep better. Just curious on thoughts.

Answer 1

My daughter sleeps with us. She will be 2 on Saturday and has pretty much been in our bed since birth. I didn't plan that arrangement, but it has worked out.

At first, I brought her to bed with us so we all could get some sleep. Pretty soon, it was the norm. Now, we have made her bed available and appealing, and she has the choice to sleep there or with us. She continues to sleep with us, but has started using her bed for naps and reading stories with us before bedtime. Eventually, she will sleep on her own, but in her own time, when she is ready.

Children need their parents all the time, not just through the day. As my daughter grows, her need to be independent will take her to her own bed, eventually. Until then, we're fine with co-sleeping. In fact, we enjoy it. My husband is away from home for work 3-4 days a week and sleeping together has been a great way to stay close and reconnect.

I have found that most of the moms I've met have had their child in their bed for some period of time when they were small. Every family is unique. You know better than anyone what is appropriate for your family.

Answer 2

I swore up and down the same thing. Don't start the bad habit....etc. Well my now 5 year old sleeps with me or I sleep with him. As an infant he was never really happy in his crib. And when I went back to work when he was 3 months old, it was a matter of staying up all night with a baby or getting some sleep to go to work. Baby came in bed, we both got some sleep and we were both happy campers. (Dad didn't get up with baby during the nite only on an occasional weekend)

Baby sleeping with us was not every night at this point.. maybe it happened once or twice a week. But that started to increase. It is now that he will sleep with us, or want me to sleep in his room, or there are times we sleep in the guest bedroom since neither of us want to sleep upstairs. He doesn't need me to sleep with him (and he knows this too). But this is a bond we have and he wont be little for long. The teens are coming and who knows if he will even want to talk to me then!!!! :-)

Do what is comfortable for you. And enjoy your children!

Answer 3

My 2 and a half year old son is exactly the same way. Up until he was 2 he wouldn't sleep in his crib or bed at all. Now he will fall asleep in his bed but will end up in ours before the morning. My husband is a very sound sleeper so this does not affect him but I don't get much sleep with the sliver of bed they offer me!

Before I met my husband and had my youngest I was a single mom to my other 2 boys. The middle one (he's 11 now) slept with me until my husband and I became an item, and that was when he was 8 years old.

I think it is whatever you feel comfortable with. And really, they grow up so fast, so enjoy them when they are small and they want your attention and affection. I have a teenager and believe me, things change!!

Answer 4

When my 9 month old wakes up in the middle of the night I take her into bed with me. I love the closeness and waking up together. Now when she's 30 and still wants to sleep in my bed with me I will realize that it may not have been such a good thing. I doubt that will happen. My motto is enjoy them when they are young they won't be this age forever.

Answer 5

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 5 yr. old and they both sleep with me. This has been a back and forth from birth, so they are happy with sleeping with me. They have always had their own rooms and never stayed in them. They would lay down and in the middle of the night come wandering into my room to hop in the bed. They are actually getting to the point that they don't WANT to sleep with me. I think the years of letting them come and go as they please is going to pay off. They want their space and I have been waiting for this to come.
So I say, as long as it is not disturbing you or them, let them for as long as you like. They will get tired of sleeping with you and get going. I do agree that it is comforting to both mother and child, but it feels sometimes like they have to comfort themselves too. I can't wait to stretch out on the bed by myself, until then I will keep being a human pacifier. They are growing so fast, I know they won't be cuddley toddlers for long.

Answer 6

We do.
And believe me I wish I had never let it get started.
With my first one it started when he was about 3 or 4 months old, he was breastfed, so it was just easier to pick him up in the middle of the night and put him in the bed with us and feed him and that's how it began. But when we had our second one, she was so hard to get to sleep and keep asleep that we just automatically let her sleep with us because she slept better that way and this was while the oldest was still sleeping with us. It made sleeping for me and my hubby very rough. But finally, my oldest is now in a bed of his own, all be it, he is still in the same room, but nonetheless sleeping in his toddler bed. We're doing it in small steps, maybe soon he'll be out in his own bedroom and then we can go to work on the littlest one.

Well anyway, one thing I can say about letting your little ones sleep with you. It's dang good birth control, lol.

Answer 7

I did it, with all 5 and it's not permanent, he won't be 12 and doing it will he?
You are doing a great job as a parent if your child finds comfort from being with you. Also, if you sleep better and he sleeps better what is the problem?? I assure you that it will change and you should definitely continue to try and persuade him to his own bed so he knows some day you will expect it AND that if some day he wants to try it, you support him.

They grow up too fast, enjoy it.

Answer 8

It's amazing how smart we all were as parents before we had kids, isn't it?! *Every* parent finds her/himself doing several of those things we swore we'd never do. :-)

As for sleeping with my kids... My first one slept in a crib from birth. I had never heard of anything else!! My last 4 all slept in bed with us on purpose. I absolutely agree with you--whatever sleep arrangements lets everyone get as much sleep as possible is what is best for that family. It's just not worth fighting over!! (And isn't it *wonderful* waking up to a beautiful smiling baby/toddler/child?!)

Answer 9

Your child wants to sleep with you because that is what human children have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years: it's perfectly natural. It's only been during the last hundred years or so that people have had the space to put children in another room. People don't change and evolve that fast! We sleep with our son and for a working mom who doesn't get to see him during the day, it's so nice to snuggle and cuddle with him. As someone already said, don't fight it, enjoy it! Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Our son has been sleeping with us since he moved out of his bassinett. We tried a crib but neither he nor I got any sleep that way. Although it's more unusual in the U.S. sharing sleep is a common practice around the world (and has been for a very very long time) it's gaining in popularity here now. As long as every one is happy and well rested its great. If you want more information you could check out attachmentparenting.org