is it wrong that i don't want other peoples help looking after my son?

Answer 1

I have trouble accepting help when I'm home. He does go to a babysitter during the day when my husband and I are at work. However, when I'm home, I want to be super mommy and do it all. I've been getting better, realizing that without enough time for myself and doing things I enjoy (other than being a mommy) that I will not be a very happy mommy. As long as you are perfectly happy in the role of being the sole care-giver for your son, you're ok. I do think you may be setting yourself up for some bad things when he starts preschool/school. One thing I've had to learn is that it's OK for people to do things differently than I do them. As long as he is safe and well-cared for and loved, it's ok if Daddy doesn't give him the same food for breakfast I would or at the same time I do. Variety is the spice of life!

Answer 2

No, it's not. But eventually, your son will go to school and it will be an easier transition for both of you if he is comfortable without you.

Here's an example: When I dropped off my oldest on his first day of kindergarten, he was fine. A little apprehensive about a new place and new kids, but after a few minutes he said "OK, Mom. You can go." On my way out I ran into another mother who was sitting on the floor in the hallway *literally* having a panic attack. She was screaming and crying ~ I'm not exaggerating ~ because she had *NEVER* been away from her child. NEVER EVER. Not with a babysitter, not with a family member, NEVER away from her child in five years. Now, I actually kind of admire that, because I would've have lost my mind attempting it, but she was physically ill because of the anxiety. And her son was a constant discipline problem ~ eventually they had to take him out of public school and home-schooled both of their kids. There's nothing wrong with home-schooling, but when you have to do it because your child literally can't function around anyone but you, that's a problem.

Everyone needs help once in a while ~ and it doesn't make you a bad mother to ask for help when you need it. With a little research and a little trust, you can find good people (whether it's daycare, a nanny or just a babysitter) to help you care for your child. Good luck!

Answer 3

Nope. I don't let people watch my 3 kids 99% of the time. My family sometimes, a sitter if I cannot have the kids at the doctor's appointment, but otherwise nope. I refuse to blindly trust anyone with my precious children, even family. I gave birth to 3, so heaven help I can watch 3. If it makes you feel safer to keep him to yourself, then do it! Once he starts talking, it might help you relax a bit. Even with my 4 year old, I'd be nervous if it was more than 2 hours. There are just too many crazies out there to let anyone watch a child if it makes you nervous! And kids are smart. If you son doesn't like someone, don't go around them. Kids are sensitive to that stuff.

Answer 4

no of course its not wrong. it just shows how much you care for your son. and yes eventually he will have to be looked after by school teachers but at this age your son will be older and you will feel more secure in the knowledge that these people have been correctly taught how to take care of your son. in the mean time if you feel that you are the only person that can take care of your son in an acceptable way then you do this because at the end of the day it is your son and your choice to who looks after him .

Answer 5

It is not wrong but inadvisable. If your child is with you exclusively he will not learn any social skills & will also be too dependant on you.
You are making a rod for your own back because by the time he has to go to school he will cry & fret because he has never been parted from you.
Try leaving him for an hour at a time with a trusted relative or friend, then for an afternoon, then for a day etc until he realises that you are going to come back every time. Before very long it will not be an issue & both you & he will benefit.

Answer 6

Parenthood is not something that can be taken from a book and we all learn the art as we grow with the child. People are always ready to give advice on how you should raise your child their way, and in the main, should be ignored, You are the only one who knows the childs ways and how they will react or behave to certain life situations. In saying that, being a single parent is fraught with stresses and difficulties, We all need adult company at some time in some form, and not many would see a child in the company as a relaxing process. So sometimes another adult (baby sitter) is essential to your wellbeing.
It is difficult to trust people, especially in a world of pedophilia etc, but insulating the child from outside contact with other adults and children will almost certainly affect his development of social skills, skills he will definitely need as he progresses through his school years.
It is not wrong to not want help, but it can be a bonus to you and your child in the longer term.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with that. If you can't trust anyone, then don't put him under anyone's care. It would only hurt your son and you. The best thing is to trust yourself which is what you are doing. As a parent, no one can give you son more love than you can - if you think you are a good parent.

Answer 8

I go through the same thing right now with my 1 year old and 3 year old sons. The only thing that helps to change the situation is time. I didn't want to leave my first born even with his dad. Now when my kids got so close with me i can't even go to the bathroom alone I wonder- was it a wise decision? I know I wouldn't do different anyways...

Answer 9

On the surface there is nothing wrong with it. However you can quickly cross a line where you are overprotective. If that happens it is not good for you or your child. Look at your reasons for not wanting others to look after your child. Are you just a new mom who need to slowly let go? Will you let family watch him? Look deep within your self for the answer.

Answer 10

Its not wrong, its normal. Specially in this day and time. Its so hard to trust anyone to help look after your son. Start with leaving your child for 45-60mins with family. Trust me if u try to do it all, u will be so tired. One day that child will go to school and if u don't work on it now you and the child will sufer.