In the mind of a man, what is the difference between (a) and (b)?
(a) enjoying great sex on a regular basis with someone you find incredibly attractive and whom you care about and trust and respect and want to spend time with
(b) being in love
2006-06-22 00:43:49 · 41 answers · asked by Mountaineer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can have everything in "a" with a friend, but that doesn't make it love.
"Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to"
2006-06-22 00:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Ðëññï§ 2 · 21⤊ 3⤋
They are not the same.
a) could be 'an arrangement' with a female friend for mutual satisfaction of physical urges. In a man, (certainly me), sexual stimulation from females I'm not in love with, is mostly caused by physically arousing sights, ie nakedness. I trust and respect all my female friends, (and am certainly not sleeping with them all). I have slept with female friends on a regular basis and find it causes other problems, mostly stemming from the lack of b).
b) love is irrational, un-explainable and beyond my average intelligence to fathom. When in love, sex is a part of the whole thing, whereas in a) sex is all of it. When in love men (certainly me) would go out of the way to satisfy and keep the loved one content, whether it be sexually, mentally, economically etc. Love is not restricted to a regular timetable, ie regimented dating. It becomes all consuming (if reciprocted) and is not governed by physical attractiveness.
Good luck !
2006-06-22 01:48:59 · answer #2 · answered by ukmagilla1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer really is if some one finds you incredibly attractive and the are in love with you then you have the perfect relationship and you treasure what you have.
If he is confused then time apart is the best option as this will tell you both if you are really in love or you are just lusting after eachother. (a) is really companionship or Lust. (b) being in love is all of (a) and more its hard to explain and I dont think any guy knows when they are in love. with me i get a warm fuzzy feeling inside i cent bare being away from my partner for 1 minute. so i find it really hard going to work i text or mail her at least 30 times a day whilst at work and we have been together for nearly 4 years.
Hope this helps its a load of babble really.
2006-06-22 00:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by mrpickle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, (A) is merely 'recreational sex' with a special female friend, but it's not very meaningful... it's only two people using each other for sexual pleasure within a friendship without commitment. On the other hand, adding the emotional factor of love (B) with the pleasures and conditions you describe in (A) speaks to me of a beautiful relationship, ideally with an understood commitment and bonding with one another.
2006-06-22 00:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by nomad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being in love means that you want to spend lots of time with that person and sex would be an additional bonus, not the main reason for the relationship.
(a) sounds like an open relationship, based on sex & mutual respect etc, but not something long term (10+ years)
2006-06-22 00:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by Blind Wing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering why you only said guys. Well anyway I am not a guy. I would agree with mattbirt2003 but I know that hasn't always happened that way for me. And once (b) is there, (a) should be important too(I mean obviously it might not be great or whatever but physical relations are important in the relationship)
2006-06-22 09:44:13 · answer #6 · answered by Evil J.Twin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL I'm a guy, and I'm just.... confused by the question ! ! !
But seriously, the both A and B will arouse the same parts of the brain, and they feel the same, so I guess they are both = to each other.
Being "in love" with someone inevitably fades after a time, to become "loving" someone.
2006-06-22 00:49:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
B has what the A has, but in addition there`s a strong friendship that last`s long after the fysical interests/attractions/cababilities have decreased.
2006-06-22 00:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a HUGE difference and i was put between the lines once myself,i feel for ya but go with what your heart tells you to do,and keep in mind that sometimes If/when you may have been with someone for quite awhile step back and see if its love or just "routine"that your with that someone.
2006-06-22 00:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to really depend on the girl you see:
with (b) there are girls that make you stop in your tracks follow her even when she has turned a corner, just seeing her, talking to her and spending tiem with her is more than sex.
and (a) sex is cool but will depend again on the girl soem girls start strong in the relationship and tone it down as time progresses [my experience] I am not complaining.
Since I just started a relationship on (a) in all honesty (b) is ideal as it has long term prospects. I hope i did not confuse you . hope you got wat you are looking for.
2006-06-22 01:09:44 · answer #10 · answered by samydan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No difference really... Besides being in love should include great sex too...
2006-06-22 00:48:05 · answer #11 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋