How do you deal with loneliness?

Question

I am having some problems lately and have no one to talk to,I have friends but they are no to be trusted and some just wouldn't understant what I'm going thru.I have made some mistakes in the past because I had situations that overcomed me and I talked to the wrong persons and eventualy it turned against me.I don't whant to do that mistake again.I wrote some journals but nobody read them nobody answered,no one gived a ****.
What shoul i do? i tried talking to myself but still it wont do,it's not the same and then again i don't someone to listen to me just because they have to,I hate thiongs done out of obligation and then again i don't want to be someone's burdain.
Sugeestions are deeply aprecitaed.

I helped a lot of people and still helping,I have a group on hi5 devoted to helping other cope with their dayli isues but most of them just solve their problems and leave.It's not usefull to forget because you watever you might do you will only be with yourself.
Ican't make any new friends or at least not now and besides trust comes a long way, and right now I'm just not up to creating a new relathionship (a new friend).

I can't afford a counseler

Answer 1

I'm sure more people than you realize go through the situation you described. I know I have! And I also understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to go through it all again to form another friendship. Relationships take a lot of work to initiate and to maintain!

I know you said that you can't afford a counselor, but I would really look into it some more. Do you have health insurance? They usually help you cover some of the cost; I know mine does. And if you find a therapist you like (that's really important--don't just go to anyone), tell him/her about your financial situation (be really honest about it, he/she will usually understand). If you're in school or employed, the school or job will usually have a mental health benefit so you can see a counselor or a therapist for free for a certain number of sessions. This can really be helpful--it may give you some insight into other things that may be going on for you, as well as help you figure out what the best solution(s) are in your situation. They'll also do a broader assessment and refer you to someone if they feel as though you may need additional support.

How long has this loneliness been going on? You write "lately" but does that mean a week, a month, a year? And are the "friends" that you're with right now the same ones that betrayed your trust before? How do you know them?

I also completely understand when you write that you don't want to be someone's burden. I think many of us feel that way! When we have a problem or an issue that seems to consume a lot of our time and energy, that's all we want to talk about, and it may FEEL like the person we're talking to doesn't want to listen anymore or is only doing it to be nice. Believe me when I say (and I have been in both positions) that it is absolutely NOT TRUE. People DO want to listen to you! After all, relationships are two-way streets--when you share, the other person will feel more open and comfortable to share with you too.

I like the suggestion of a few other people who have also answered this question: get involved with a group. Join some sort of activity (e.g., book reading club, running club, knitting club, group through a religious/spiritual organization, human rights advocacy group, etc.) in which you will automatically have something in common with the other people there. After all, you're all there for a reason, right? Conversations will be a lot easier to start that way, and it may be easier to find someone that you naturally "click" with.

Take care.

Answer 2

In ur case it seems kinda hard, I mean, whats the use of friends if U cnt talk to them when U need them??? Well there are a few things that I can suggest for U to do.
The first thing would be to find a place within urself where U have balance, something that makes U feel good. Now that can be anything from crankin ur favorite tunes, or reading a good book. Whatever it is things like this will help. Secondly, If U are pretty good with meeting people on the net it is sometimes really cool to get the opinion of someone that is totally "untainted". U
ever have to see these people again, and after U get over this lil ruff spot....If U dnt wnt to U never have to speak to them again.

Answer 3

Maybe your mum feel's exactly the same way ! have you asked her ? she had that life too you know and now live's like you she is probably alone too :( you cant wait on something or someone changing what you are or where you are or your job :) Mum's are the best enjoy what uz have move on move out together do thing's you only dream about charity work search for other country's there is alway's assistance required elswere if you both dedicate your time in helping others you will be rewarded xx Dont be scared do it now coz the quickest thing in life is the time together talk too your mum dont throw it at her at once just mention it a slight hint leave her a week to dwell on it and then get back to her have fun love each other laugh together look out for one another... After all that's what your dad would have wanted for both off you I am sure off it :)

Answer 4

Join a group!! Whatever your interest, there's a group around that does it. Gardening? Love critters? Volunteer at the Humane Society and walk the pooches.In this way, you'll meet like-minded people and probably make several real friends along the way.

Answer 5

I have the same problem as you, I have friends who no longer seem to give a crap about me and I really am in need of some advice. Lately I have been getting on myspace.com. I know it sounds weird because I dont usually do things like that but I have found people online who are willing to listen and who seem to care about my opinions and are always willing to listen.

Answer 6

you sound so desperately down.

~I think maybe lonliness is just a fraction of the bigger picture. You sound like maybe you need to speak to someone like a counsellor on a regular basis.

If you don't have a support network, you don't feel heard and you feel like no one cares then it's really dangerous to just let yourself spiral down.

one hour each week with someone who is not going to judge you and who is going to listen to you might make all the difference.

my suggestion is to look at person centered therapy.

Answer 7

I understand what you are going threw. I get lonely too. Do you have a job? What do you like to do? Refuse to think depressed. Eveytime you catch yourself feeling lonely, do something... try to take a class on something you like, try to find a job...if you don't have the qualifications, do what you have to do to get them. It's okay to be alone. You have to find who you are and treat yourself like you would treat someone you love or respect. Only you can make yourself happy. How could someone make you happy? Now try to do that for yourself.
Hope this helps!!!

Answer 8

I can understand your problem. the same phase I gone through. stop thinking that you are alone, just think that there are so many people with so may problems in their life, but life has to move on. you try to involve yourself in any productive work which you love or you are interested.... then you will see that you have no time for such thinking. and try to forget your past.

Answer 9

hey. its very peculiar problem. i too suffer lot bcoz of loneliness. to avoid this do something which gives u happiness and sense of fulfilment. be a part of crowd. do something useful to u and the society which ultimately results in sense of fulfilment. hpe u l get better with this. still not satisfied and if u feel very lonely do mail me.
im looking forward to have freind ship with u. bcoz me too of ur kind.

[e-mail]

Answer 10

I feel like this sometimes. My so called pals are so so. But I have one person whom I think can be trusted. I think you should volunteer, join a church, or you can contact me. I know the feeling and it almost lead me to my death.