Could use some feedback on pople who have been in this position before.
A friend of a friend keeps flirting and asking me on dates. Not an issue normally but this girl earns way more than me (and I mean treble what I earn) We move in different circles and have different hobbies and tastes. We can develop hobbies together if need be but this money thing is an issue, not because I feel threatened by it but because it's a lifestyle I am alien to.
Has anyone been in this position? And has it worked out?
2006-06-21 23:58:51 · 19 answers · asked by dave w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think my problem is that I know how to make my usual type of girl feel special. How do you make someone feel special when the value of something means nothing to them? It's easy when you love her because the romantic things will feel special but I don't love her. So without love and money, how do you make a rich girl feel special?
2006-06-22 01:00:05 · update #1
when i was younger i dated a girl from a wealthy family. That **** was wierd as hell, 3 different forks 3 spoons and all that. At first its a little uncomfortable, but after a while you learn to adjust and fit in. Plus dating is all about learning new things and having fun, so relax and see what its about, who knows you might actully like what she is into or vica-versa..
2006-06-22 00:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jessie 3 · 10⤊ 4⤋
give it a go - if you guys really fall for each other it won't be an issue. I earn more than my fella but he makes me feel special by all the little things he does - after all if you've got money it means nothing to you, you can spend spend spend and it won't really have cost you much in the grand scheme of things - if this girl likes you then she will appreciate being with you, not for what you can materially give her. Trust me, learning new things from one another is great fun and will bring out a whole new you.
2006-06-22 07:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she likes you and she knows your financial situation, then the money thing isn't a problem for her. So, it shouldn't be for you. Practically, you can't afford to do the things she does, so do different things. Things that don't cost much money but which are memorable - you know, picnics in the park, that sort of thing. Don't share the same interests? Find something fun to do - like go to your local climbing centre where both of you get a climbing lesson. And be straight up with her when she says she wants you to take part in some expensive activity which you can't afford.
2006-06-23 04:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experiences:-
Yes! it can be an issue especially if the lesser earner is not comfortable with the position! usually its the Man! but then again it can work if u both agree to put limitation on spreading and don't make finances a issue in the relationship.
Be honest and tell her how u feel and see what she says!!!
Good luck
2006-06-22 08:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetlips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money should not be an issue where true love exists, but the problem is you do not know the reason why this friend of a friend is flirting.It is better to ask about her past relationship from your friend. sometimes when you get engaged to someone who is richer than you, you might lose your man's pride and she might be the one dictating the affairs of things and if you can not stoop you will have to quit.
2006-06-22 07:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by debola28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the two of you are clear from the start that there is a difference in purchasing power. If you feel uncomfortable letting her pay for things then tell her she will have to get used to a lower standard of living, if you don't make it clear you can't afford what she wants. As long as you know where you stand and let her know and she likes you for who you are and doesn't want you to change then you should be ok.
2006-06-22 07:04:21 · answer #6 · answered by bryanocarr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I am in this position now. I t was no trouble at first. She was buying me expensive things which seemed okay. But now I feel different. I don't care for all the nice clothes and fancy restaurants. It's just not my way of life. It's okay for her. But we are in love and are working on the problem. Good luck.
2006-06-22 07:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, that happened to me once -- where i earned more than my guy. eventually he couldn't take it any more and dumped me. i totally didn't care, and didn't realize how much it bothered him. i think that was insensitive of me!
So if it bothers you now, it will bother you period. But if you can, look at the person instead and see if you have enough other things in common. Go for it anyway. Who knows where something might lead -- she could be the love of your life, and who knows, your situation may change....
2006-06-22 07:03:52 · answer #8 · answered by alter_tygo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it's tough, but my advice-go for it. She wants you for who you are so money shouldn't come into it. I was in the same position, and I just went for it. We're still married 17 years later. If the love's there, nothing else matters.
2006-06-22 07:06:28 · answer #9 · answered by fishy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this friend really likes you then no money shouldn't be issue to either of you.why not suggest going for a drink (no strings attached) it might turn out that you do have somethings in common that you didn't know about each other
2006-06-22 07:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by Scottish lass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things may change in future. What really required here is, true understanding and respect on each other.
2006-06-22 07:05:36 · answer #11 · answered by honest man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋