what do you think about this? (about my son and his lil' so called buddy)?

Question

My neighbor's son plays with my son all the time and they both get along and all of that until today. Me and my husband were going to take our son to his mama's to go swimming in their pool well you know how lil kids tells everything....(my son is 4) and he told that boy he was going swimming well that boy thought he could go and his own mom wanted him to go (I don't even know her all that well)

So we all said we are not going swimming to make him go on home. His mom came and asked and we said no we are not going swimming. My son's mama said i don't want other peoples kids up here cause if something happens it will be pinned on her or us. When we came back home that mother said well did you all have fun swimming and got all mad. See her son is having a b-day party thursday (today) at a Public pool (be closed to party though) and she said well i dont think i will have it and that was her way of saying not to come. When i went to unlock the door there was a paper that things was drawn

On there showing people getting stabbed and cut...that little boy had drawn it and i know he meant it for my son. (that boy is 6 years old)....What would you all do about that?

I don't care that she is not wanting us to come but i don't like how her son put that on my door and i didn't like her attitude about it. (she said all of that to my husband) now i think she will try to be causing trouble for us cause she is pissed off that i didn't watch her kid for her. I mean really if you cared about your kid would you let them go off with the neighbors to someones house that they don't even know?

Do you think i should show that drawing to the landlord or to the police? I live in a apartment complex

I know later on today my son's feelings will be hurt when everyone up here is going to his party and he will not be and that boy i just know will be coming up to him and saying haha you are not allowed at my party....What would u do if that does happen?

Answer 1

Apparently that lady has issues...and ur son's mama was right. If something was to happen at her house SHE is actually liable for any mishaps. As far as the 6 yr old dropping that piece of paper at ur door politely give it back to her and just state u might want to talk to ur son about this and I no longer would like our kids to play til the issue is settled.
As far as I would be concern ignore her and let it be. A parent who just assumes that another parent will take care and spoil their kid at another's expense needs a reality check. If harrassment is cotinue u can contact the landlord to help resolve the issue. Let ur landlord know what is going on..
And talk to ur son about inviting ppl. Explain to him that it was a nice thought but we need to clear it up first with mommy and daddy...he'll make a couple more mistakes but just reinforce it..he'll get the picture.
And disappointment of losing friends is all part of growing up..there have been times I have told my son no and explain why. It hurt but he always liked how I made it up to him....

Answer 2

I agree with the other person you shouldnt have lied. I know you can not change the past...but in the future maybe you should practice being more honest. You do not want your son to grow up a liar. And lie to you about serious things and think its ok. Even though we do not know this persons personality and they might be a tempermental type anyway you may have saved a lot of hurt feelings on her end. You may have gotten understanding and respect and none of this would have happened.
As of right now the mother is mad because you lied. The little boy who is old enough at six to understand lying is mad because you lied. And he is hurting too...I know you do not want to see it this way but as much as your son will be hurting later watching them play in the pool that other little boy was hurting just as bad knowing that you said you werent going to the pool but did. And as much as you want to protect your son that mother wants to protect hers.
I agree that mothers should not let people take their kids when they do not hardly know the person. I am in that same position. You should have just said no and gave a basic reason.

As far as the drawing I wouldnt do anything just yet. Though it is serious and scary this might be something that this little boy did out of pain. Not all children are taught to properly deal with their emotions. I would hang on to it to keep as proof in the future if there continues being problems over the next few days. But right now I would just wait and keep a close eye on your son and this little boy.
The mother might not have even known he put it on your door.
At this age they are worst enemies one minute and best friends the next. If the mother doesnt interfere tomorrow this all might be a distant memory.

Answer 3

Keep the drawring locked safely away as evidence. Your neighbor is not a reasonable woman and could turn on you and your family at the drop of a hat. You have done nothing wrong. It is a big responsibility to look after someone else's child where swimming pools are concerned. They can be very dangerous places if they are not used properly.

First of all, I suggest that you calmly try to reason with your neighbour. It does sound like this will be a mammoth task, but you are the bigger person here and you know right from wrong. If you cannot get through to her, try your best to keep the children apart and encourage your son to make new friends.

If there continues to be trouble and threats after that, then you need to take the situation higher. But remember, keep all evidence just in case she is a really good liar. Good luck and try to keep away from the trouble maker!

Answer 4

I would definitely take the picture to the apartment complex manager and get them to tell you what actions they will take towards this. It's threatening and violent and they need to do something about it. Tell them you will be contacting the police about it whether they take action or not. I mean that is scary! I hope the mom does not know her child did that. If she does, wow, you don't want to know what happens in their house when no one else is around.

Also, not blaming you for the situation, but kids are smart. Maybe if you had told the demon child and his mom the completely valid reason why he couldn't come swimming, they would have understood a little more. Clearly there is a pool in the complex they can use just as easily. But who knows, they could just be a family of crazies that have no common sense.

Answer 5

Just because you live near someone or your child plays with their children doesn't mean they are part of your family. Just forget what happened. I bet within a week, that little boy will be back at your door wanting to play with your kid. What you have to decide in the interim is if you want that kid in your child's life. If not, then be strong, and turn the kid away the first time he comes back. If yes, then throw away the picture and never bring it up again. As for the party, make family plans to be away from that area. Take your child to his mama's pool. Age four is fairly young to be sent to a pool party anyway.

Answer 6

this is a tough one !
i wouldn't call the landlord . my own expirence is that landlords or property management teams don't seem to care much about as they would call it petty disputes .
it wouldn't hurt to call the police and ask their advice and explain what happened and the psychotic drawing that you found on your door. ask them what you can do and save the picture just in case.
as far as being uninvited to the pool party . schedule something fun to do that day . maybe surprise him by taking him somewhere special and spending some good quality time with him .
if by chance you could talk to the other childs mother i would explain to her that the persons who you were going swimming at expected just you guys to go swimming . let her know you think it would have been unfair to invite someone else with out their consideration . it is their pool and their liability if something were to have happened and you have more respect for other people than to bring someone uninvited.
it may not be a bad thing for your son to no longer play with this child . seems that mom has issues and wants to pawn her child off on someone else and son has issues that more than likely was egged on by mom .
take you son to your husbands mamma's for your own little private pool party ! get a few balloons and order pizza and have yourself a good [non psychotic] time . maybe even see about inviting another good friend and the friends mom or dad that way the other child's parent is there to supervise their own kid.
hope your situation clears up and no more letters come ! that is just freaky .
good luck

Answer 7

I would limit the interaction to no more than a hi how are ya. Small talk at the most and keep your son away from them or at least close supervison when they are together. I wouldn't allow the neighbors or their son into the house, outside no big deal. If they want to be petty let them your not a sitter for her kid. Just go on living your life. I would keep the paper of the drawing, put it in a envelope and mark on it the date. Just for reference if something would happen down the road.

Answer 8

I would go tell the mother you are sorry that you lied but you didn't want to hurt the childs feelings by telling him he couldn't come. Explain that you don't like to have the responsibility of taking another child swimming as it is too much of a worry for the owner of the pool..
Take your child out on the day of the party so if they say you wern't invited to my party he can respond 'I don't care! I went to .....and i had lot's of fun" I would not encourage this friendship at all it is pretty destructive by the sounds of it

Answer 9

First of all. Why LIE?
Tell the little boy and his mother that although you would like to invite him along, it is not YOUR pool and not your decision, but you are not allowed to bring guests.
The other child's mother would maybe have understood that rather than being lied to.
As for the drawing, well, I would keep my child away from the other child. I would talk to his mother and possibly report the incident to the school counselor or authorities. It is sad but there are too many violent acts being carried out by *children* these days. perhaps, the school can help this child.

Answer 10

It is quite understandable here that your neighbour in concern is not quite a good mother and she seems to have taken in offence certain things which should have been taken lightly. My best advice is to not allow your son to play with her's currently, as we are not sure of what ideas she would have told her child about your's, perhaps she could have provided wrong information to justify her anger. It is best to maintain the distance and to keep you lil boy in bay.