I'm 21 have ony had sex with 1 guy fell in love with him and now all our relationship is is sexual. Is there any way to fix this I dont want to leave him but feel as though I am being cheated in this relationship.
2006-06-21 20:19:30 · 5 answers · asked by Blue S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end
2006-06-27 20:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by arajaajmali 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not love that hurts. It is attachment that is threatened or expectations that are not met which hurt.
That having been said, there is a reason that they talk about leaving father and mother, being united to your spouse, and then becoming one flesh - in that order - and then say of that 'What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'(1)
In other words, in plain language: there should be the intent of a permanent relationship before people hook up, because breakups are not supposed to happen after that.
And this is why you find yourself in such a difficult situation: you know in your heart that that's how it's supposed to be, and yet the situation does not fulfill these requirements.
From what you are saying, it sounds like it rather falls under the following: they say 'You shall not commit adultery,' and what that means is that if you even look at someone to lust after them, you've already committed adultery with them in your heart(2). This means that in principle it is possible to commit adultery even with your own spouse!
And this is why you find the situation at hand so objectionable: because it *is* objectionable.
Seems to me that the way out is to evaluate whether you really want a permanent relationship with this guy - AS THINGS STAND NOW, because there is no guarantee he will change.
If you think there's any hope, you need to tell him that you want to lay off the sex and cultivate other aspects of your relationship together, and wait until the moment you both feel it's right to get married, and only after that resume your sexual relationship. If that proves to be impossible, then you need to just move on.
And yes, you will have to deal with the fact of a permanent change in yourself, that you have as it were left a part of yourself with him and he's left a part of himself with you. It is humanly impossible to change that once it's happened.
Fortunately, for the one who wants to clean their slate off and start over doing things right this time, there is hope: with men this is impossible - *but* with God all things are possible(3).
Basically, all you've got to do is trust in what He's already done for you(4), and ask Him for a new heart - that clean slate you need to start over again and do it right(5). Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall be opened to you(6).
Trust in the Lord and do good
Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture
Delight yourself in the Lord
And He will give you the desires of your heart
Commit your way to Him,
Trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn
The justice of your cause like the noonday sun(7).
If you ever have doubts about whether He 'really did it', just remember that He is real, and think about how good He is, and think of this: can you take a child and separate it, saying the left half was Mom's doing, and the right half was Dad's doing?
In the same way, our lives are like that: our input and God's input are like two sides of the same coin. He is always there for us, as it were waiting at the marriage altar like a groom on his wedding day. Above all, hasten to that altar, for that is the best for you.
May God bless you and keep you
2006-06-22 04:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF your relationship is just sexual now...hes using you. He does not respect you. If he really loves you then he will respect you if you abstain from sex for a while.
Guy like girls who keeps them on their toes. The wost you treat him...the more he's going to love you!!
2006-06-22 03:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by tgr_fsh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to marry you ,see his reaction or you don't want to be used for a sex only tell him how you feel
2006-06-22 03:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Cyber Ninja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
test him by not having sex for awhile. you'll soon find out
2006-06-22 04:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by slashaholic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋