I was approached by a black woman in a store while with my three mixed children (black and white). After telling me how cute my kids were she proceeded to ask if they were all by the same father. I wasn't completely shocked because I have had black woman ask me this before but usually they were younger, this woman looked to be in her late 30s early 40s. (yes all my kids are by the same father and yes they pretty much look alike there is no extreme differences in skin tone, size, ect....) Also I answered her by asking if all her kids were by the same person, to which she seemed offended. Was that a good answer?????? Please clue me in why people ask this question, I think I have been asked about 5 times, and my friends who have mixed children also have been asked too.
2006-06-21 19:54:32 · 20 answers · asked by simplyfabulous 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't know if that was racially motivated or not, but it sure was rude. I am glad you gave that B some of her own medicine, she needs to know she was out of line.
2006-06-21 20:21:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think in older people there can be a certain disdain for someone who has mixed-race children (it's ridiculous, but it's there) as if they somehow are morally suspect for having children with someone of another race. Please be aware that this is NOT my own opinion.
So I guess, if someone thinks you are a bit doubtful morally (for their own unhappy reasons - no reflection on you) then they would assume that you may have had more than one father for your children (which also isn't really a problem as long as you love and care for your children, but some people get offended by the oddest things).
So yes, it was rude to ask - I'd never think of asking that of anyone, even if it was obvious that the children were from different fathers. It's just not the done thing, really, is it?
2006-06-21 20:01:51 · answer #2 · answered by squimberley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have been asked the same question five times already and your friends who have mixed children also have been asked too, implies that the question is valid. While the question may be considered rude, especially if the way it was asked was insulting, it may also have been made out of complete ignorance and curiousity, without any malicious intent. A short "yes" would have sufficed.
2006-06-21 20:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the way you handled that, by asking her the same question.
Not only is that a rude and stupid question to ask you, it was totally thoughtless on her part. Perhaps some or even all of your children are adopted and they had not been told yet. This would have been a harmful way for them to learn.
When people ask me rude questions like that, I ask them why they want to know. It helps make them realize they were being nosy.
2006-06-21 20:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by jumpingrightin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than just being plain rude, I am going to assume that people have the notion (not that it is true or just) that a inter-racial couple cannot last long enough to have more than 1 or 2 children. Don't let people of that caliber upset you they aren't worth your time or energy. Good luck in your life, enjoy your family and to heck with people that just don't get that it just don't matter! As long as you have love and happiness what more can you want. And just remember this... I have said it more and more in the past few weeks......YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!!
GOOD LUCK GIRL!
2006-06-21 20:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by tatgirl66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, a lot of people don't have any agenda so they ask potentially rude questions without considering the possibility that it could be impolite.
she may have noticed slight differences between the children and just been curious to know.
however, I think your answer was good. there's no reason why you should hold back if you have a suspicion that someone is being rude or just plain stupid.
2006-06-21 20:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that was a completely rude thing for the woman to ask. And to be offended when you asked the same of her?? Gimme a break, lady. She's a wacko.
2006-06-21 19:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by LeAnne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are Ignorant! You responded the correct way! And if anyone ever asked you again - either ignore them or say something dumb like 'no I just found them on the street'....
Dang, People are so rude.
Okay another one, 'no ones the postman's, ones the milkman's and ones the paper boys!
That should shut them up!
2006-06-21 20:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by STARLITE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have never heard of such a thing, i wouldn't ask anyone that, i like how you asked her the same thing. maybe they have theories on black guys not staying with white women long or after they father children or something.
2006-06-21 20:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats the first time I've heard of such a thing, why she would ask that is beyond me perhaps she thought you were just a child care worker or daycare provider, at any rate I would have said the same then added mind ya business!!
2006-06-21 21:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People ask obsurd questions like that because they're idiots. They go by the so called stereotype and don't bother to think before they open their mouths. I think you responded to her better than some people would have.
2006-06-21 19:59:42 · answer #11 · answered by taureanus2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋