This is pretty funny.........?

Question

I found this letter on the internet and I found it hilarious. My question is what's your opinions on these questions?

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws & how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day & age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male & female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it's a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room for negotiation here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse & blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do w/people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

So what are the answers to the questions? I'd reallly like to know lol

So obviously they are joke questions with no logical answer but do they prove a point?

The point that people ignore large chucks of the bible but pick out the ones they want.

If anyone actually wants a copy of the letter themselves heres the link http://www.reexamine.org/wtobserver/apps/pbcs.dll/article1f16.html?AID=/20040319/JWANDSOCIETY6/10607009

Answer 1

Copy Paste and send to Priestess! I'm still rolling! This has to be the best I've seen so far!!!
Good luck on getting a real answer outta them.
"Well times have changed, and God doesn't allow that kinda thing anymore."

Answer 2

1 no smiting is wrong!
2 minimum wage at wal-mart
3 women get bitchy on their period
4 you can own them by buying their labor
5 No God is just he will deal with it
6 shellfish like pigs are living garbage disposals, eating them is unhealthy.
Homosexuality is choosing to rebel against Gods natural law of procreation, therefore it is worse
720/20 vision wont help your spiritual blindness so no negotiation
8 only applys to jewish as most of these do. moreover they are most likely in morning so cutting hair is ok!
9 you can play football, but you must purify youself after
10 your uncle will just have poor crops, no need to kill him
the jewish law also said let the land rest every 7 years, funny farmers did not do that and the dustbowl hit, noe they do let the land rest!

The jewish law is great for living a clean life,

Slavery was not like civil war slavery! you had to free them after 7 years!

THe Law will show you haw to be humble merciful and clean!

you mock it but it is not as bad as you think. Most of it applied to Jews not to everyone. You just have not care for God so it makes no sense to you!

Answer 3

simple Jesus was asked by a religious man a pharisee as a test to kill him,,, what is the greatest comandment ,,and he said one love the lord thy God with all thy power and strenght, and two love your neighbor as your selves and in this you can do no wrong ,,,,you cant love God and sin against him ,,,and to love thy neighbor ya cant judge him and kill him as he is your self ,,, Jesus said ive come to complete the law not destroy it ,,but in the books of romans and hebrews,, they point out the reasons for the law God was making a point of the sins of the people so they were aware and could take steps to change,, but they got into the lawyer business with god over the itemised deductions and lost the real love behind it ,,Abrahem the father of all religions of the book, was faithful and it was accounted unto him as righteousness,, he got by by listening to God and doing the right things ,,not in an ordinance or a amended law ,,just simple faith God said leave Ur,, he Left ,,,God said live in the Judean Hills,, he lived there,,, Faith ,,Simple

Answer 4

Lol...These are all Old Testament.

Look into Christianity and all of the "Laws" are changed when Christ dies on the cross. The "Laws" are then turned into "Grace" through Jesus Christ.

Very interesting.....Old Testament that is...

Answer 5

Yeah, funny and sad. The Bible is a pretty horrible book.

Answer 6

what point ??