My daughter was molested and the offender got probation what can i do about it?

Question

My daughter was molested by a friend of my ex-wifes' and he was given 5 years probation for it I think that is not fair to my daughter what can I do to get him sent to prison?My daughter was 4 years old when this guy did this to her.

Answer 1

We are way too easy on those who decide to abuse children. Here is my answer to these people who abuse our loved ones
Sex Offender Legislation “Wish List”
1-GPS and lifetime supervision/treatment Law The failure of today's solutions regarding sexual offenders is because we are stuck in the strategy of “public notification” rather than “controlling offenders”. The current model puts the burden on parents rather than offenders, and makes the wrong people work to prevent abuse. Remotely (GPS) knowing where an offender is at all times throughout his lifetime can help to prevent that offender from creating new cases of sexual abuse.
2-Include all known offenders in the management plan-for life. It is wrong to include just those under supervision since the Meagan’s Law was written. People do not ever age out of this behavior so why an old is charge less important than a new charge. Sexual offences are the most under reported crimes (according to the FBI). The fact that a molester has not been arrested recently does not necessarily means he has not offended. In my opinion all offenders should be included in any plan, regardless of when their offense occurred. I believe some states have done this already.
3-Put all offenders , levels I, II or III on the website . I believe Florida does this. The leveling tool is very poor and pedophiles often end up with only a level I because they did not use force, and they superficially complied with treatment. The way the leveling system works pedophilic “groomers” who do not use force (and are the most busy of all offenders with hundreds of victims) are often not level III’s and therefore are able to have their offense relatively unknown. In New York for example offenders can lawyer up and reduce the “level” they get at their hearing. Molesters can assert they are “non violent”, “sober”, ect, and get the “points” reduced or get the judge to “override” the scale. Currently the public notification system is failing. All offenders of all levels should be on the website.
4- “Victim Shield Law”. As you know one of the few protections we offer rape victims is “Rape shield laws”, in order to at least try and prevent a rape victim’s sexual history from being put on trial rather than the rapist. In child sexual abuse cases there are no “Rape shield laws” to prevent the victim, or the victim’s family (often the mother) from being made the center of negative attention. In the past defense lawyers for rapists would portray rape victims as promiscuous, today child molester’s lawyers portray victims and victim’s mothers as manipulative, litigious, unreliable, angry, mentally ill, sociopathic, medicated, or undedicated. Because we as a society love to blame women, especially mothers, molesters have been able to harness the misogyny in our culture in order to escape responsibility for their offences. Like the old rape cases that would revolve around the victims sexual past, today molester cases revolve around a child or a mother’s real or fictional problems instead of the focus of attention being the sexual abuse committed by the offender. I do not know if there can ever be a “victim shield law” to prevent the victim/victim’s mother being put on trial rather than the molester, but I know it would help victims avoid being re-traumatized in the system and help society hold sexual offenders accountable. One of the things to always remember with offenders is they are control seekers, and will take any opportunity to attack rather than just defend. They feel entitled to their behavior and see being held accountable as an injustice they are being forced to suffer, and they have zero guilt in harming any number of people (even their children) in order to escape the consequences they deserve.
5-Plea deals down to “Endangering the welfare of a minor”. Despite the underlying behavior being the sexual abuse of children offenders are often given convictions that hide the nature of their behavior. When this happens offenders can get employment that gives them access to children, offenders are not on the State Sex Offender Registry. The other consequence to their being given non-sexual charges is that it cuts their supervision time in half. Misdemeanor sex offences carry 6 years probation supervision but “Endangering the welfare of a minor” carries only three. I feel the law should be changed so offenders cannot be given non-sexual abuse charges.
6-Make “Endangering the welfare of a minor” registerable , if the judge feels it was a sexually motivated crime. The registry is to narrow and limited as to what crimes can be registered. Laws be changed so “endangering the welfare of a minor” is registerable when the behavior or motivation was sexual.
7-“Standardized” conditions for those on sex offender probation. Right now offenders with good lawyers can get specific (or all) sex offender conditions removed from their sexual offender conditions of probation. This means that sexual offenders are on probation but are allowed to drink alcohol, work with children, have computers, go to bars, and do other things that will create a higher risk for the community. I feel there should be a “Statewide Sex Offender Conditions of Probation” that conditions cannot be removed from (but conditions can be added to suite the offenders issues).
8-Sexual Offender Contraband law- Strangely it is legal for sexual offenders off probation to own all kinds of things such as handcuffs, police lights, spy cameras, and software to make their internet behavior more anonymous.
9-Sex Offender use of technology law- When bank robbers use technology such as wearing body armor the penalties are increased, why are sex offender allowed to use any technology without added consequences. Offenders choose the internet because it allows greater access to children and greater anonymity. They should be punished for use of technology to harm a child. (technology such as Computers, digital cameras, webcams, ect)
10-“Secrecy Bind Law” The offender getting his victim to not report the crime he committed should be a separate crime that he suffers added consequences for. The pain that a victim suffers because the offender threatened, tricked, or manipulated the victim into silence should be seen as a separate and deserving of added consequences.
11- “Parental Alienation Syndrome” is a pseudo syndrome that is being used to get offenders off the hook by saying (incorrectly) that sexual abuse allegations come from a manipulative ex- playing head games with a child rather than because the child was actually molested. This “Parental Alienation Syndrome” is not a legitimate disorder, has not been subjected to peer review, has been ignored for 20 years by the APA, AMA, NASW, ECT because it is just a sophisticated way to say your wife is crazy and turned everyone against you. It is being pushed by hired guns such as Doctors, PhD’s, and lawyers to get their child molesting clients out of trouble. It is a favorite of the “Fathers Rights” groups who see men as victims of the Family Court system. By the way, these “Fathers rights” groups, “wrongly accused” groups, and “victims of allegations” groups are very organized and spend a good deal of time and energy networking and paying professionals. These angry, entitled molesters are organized and work hard, and I feel we need to work just as hard against them.

Answer 2

That is so horrible. My cousins kids were molested by their dad. Her daughter got the worst of it. She was 4 when they found out but he had been doing it since she was about 9 months old and he also did it to her brother, only once. He got 15 yrs prison time, like 9 years probation, and a lifetime of having to register as a sex offender and he will never be able to be around anyone under 18. I am not sure there is anything you can do other than do some research into where he has lived in the last few years and his friends for the last few years and see if any of these people have kids and without saying "_____ touched you didn't he" see if he did this to any other kids. I think that may be the only way to get him to prison. Because sex offenders like him will do it again and probably has done it before. People like him think that just because the child is 4 or whatever they aren't going to understand that what he did to them is wrong...but kids tend to say things that they think is ok because he said it was to other people and that is what will get him caught. My little cousin had been saying strange things since she pretty much could talk but we never thought anything of it until she was able to put sentences together and said "Daddy touches me there". So see if any of his friends kids have said strange things that they just chalked up to being a weird thing their kid picked up on the tv or overhearing from someone else. If there are more cases he will go to prison. It may take some work and may take a few years...but he will do this again and probably has done this before. It never happens just once.
I'm so sorry this happened to your family. Just please put your daughter first in any of your decisions. She is what is important now! :)

Answer 3

I hope you find the answer that you are looking for. Most importantly, I hope you don't lose sight of what is really important at a time like this and that is giving your daughter everything she needs to live with what happened to her. As a child victim of continuous sexual abuse, I can tell you that what she needs most is the love and support of her family. Please don't make the mistake of directing all your focus on punishing the man who did this. It's more important to save your daughter from her nightmares that this could ever happen again. Don't think that because she is only 4 yrs old that this will not haunt
her. She may need therapy now and off and on for the rest of her life. But, more than anything she needs to know that you will always be there with her and for her in every way. Tell her every day that she is a good girl and that she is beautiful and that you love her. If you fill her life with joy and love those bad memories won't come around as often and when they do come she'll know that you're there for her. God bless you.

Answer 4

What I would tell you would send you to prison a lot longer than her would ever serve. Unfortunalty, we live in a society that people like that get off scott free while the victims have to look over their shoulders the rest of thier lives. If the judge could experience what your daughter did, he would have burried him under the jail. Go to the newspaper and to the television stations and request a new trial. Try to find others he might have molested as well. I hope you can hook him and put him away for a long time. Do it now!

Answer 5

Stick up for your daughter. First, tell your ex that this dude cannot ever be around your daughter again. If she balks, you have to go to court and file a motion to restrain her from allowing this ba*tard to be around your girl. If she tries to minimize what happened, or says anything like she just wants to forget it happened, you've got real problems. If it is her friend, it is hard to believe that he could be so bad or that she was such a poor judge of character. If she is with you, then you have a fighting chance to rescue your daughter's fragile emotions. At 4, she didn't know what was happening and didn't have the tools to sort out that she was innocent.

The other thing is to hunt this jerk down like the animal he is and grease him. Ok, maybe you need to be alive and out of jail so your daughter has a daddy. But it might be appropriate to go with your buddies to pay a visit. Speak directly and succinctly ... he has wounded your child in a way that will haunt her all of her life. You are sorry if he was molested as a child or whatever it was that made him do it, but that isn't your problem. Your problem is that HE did it and he isn't being punished. Let him know you and your family and friends are watching every move he makes and will report his a s s ias soon as he does anything that even smacks of breaking probation. You might even want to hire a private investigator to find out what he does in his spare time. I'll bet this M-F'er surfs the net for kiddie porn, and I'll bet that is a violation of his probation.

There is a website that has the names, addresses, photos and mapquest-type map to show where registered sex offenders live. If this guy isn't registered and on this list, you can go to the district attorney's office that prosecuted him and see if they can help take care of that little detail. Tell everyone you know who loves your family that this happened and you need help to make sure this doesn't happen again - especially not to your girl.

Bottom line is to let butthead know you are watching. Your girl needs to know as she grows up that you did all you could to protect her. I have a niece who was molested by a family friend many years ago when she was under 10. It went on a long time. Our family did not respond very well. I guess we just couldn't believe that this could happen to us. My father pulled a huge knife out of the kitchen and was headed for the car to go take care of this jerk's genitals. Everyone tried to calm him down. In retrospect, he had the right idea. My niece's life has been f'd up 12 ways to Sunday. She blames her parents for being the worst parents of all time. I finally understand why she feels that way ... everyone told her to forgive and forget. We also tried to pretend that it never happened. The only happy part of this story is that the sonuvabit*h is rotting in jail. Someone outside of the family caught him with others. What a mistake we made.

I admire your anger and your willingness to try to do something. You are a great father - the best your girl could have. This guy will get it in the end.

Answer 6

i can speak from experience if he already went to court and was sentenced to probation that is hes sentence then there is nothing u can do to get him sent to prison. my situation is different however the man who molested me was sent to prison after having to testify in court in front of him and the judge, but of course hes already out (our justice system stinks). All I can say is be there for your daughter it is something she will never forget its a huge emotional strain she will never look at a man the same way ever again, she will have problems trusting people. Im sorry about ur situation my thoughts and prayers are with u and ur family.

Answer 7

buy a bushmaster .308 with a big scope from an individual not a dealer, wait til he's in public and pick him off from about a mile away, cut the gun up with a torch and mix it in with some concrete, then pitch it in a river. it's the most appropriate thing i can thing i can think of. somebody's probably gonna report this answer, but i don't give a crap because, the bastard deserves it.

Answer 8

That is truly awful. Sad thing is the courts have spoken. If he bothers you, then you can take out a restraining order. However, this might just anger him. Be careful and make sure your daughter is not around him.

Answer 9

that is so messed up! you should get involved with other people this has happened too. alert the people around that he is a molester, make flyers with his photo on them...People will fight to get a molester out of the neighborhood and at least you could push him farther away from your daughter.It makes me sick..I have a five year old...how could someone do such things to your poor sweet baby...take care and I hope you find peace somehow

Answer 10

IF IT HAS WENT TO COURT THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR IT BUT MAKE SURE YOUR DAUGHTER NEVER COMES IN CONTACT WITH HIM AGAIN WHO HAS CUSTODY OF HER GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM SO HE CANT BE AROUND HER I HATE HEARING THIS I MYSELF WAS ALSO RAPED WHEN I WAS CHILD AND THEY SPENT 4 MONTHS IN JAIL AND THAT WAS IT ITS REALLY SAD BUT THATS HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS GET HER COUNSLING RIGHT AWAY AND IT WILL HELP HER IN THE LONG RUN I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU

Answer 11

make a bunch of crazy psycho friends who were molested as children... and own like guns and are pseudo violent and stuff... and just keep telling them about how scared your daughter is... and crying and stuff... and drop hints about where the molester lives and stuff... and you think maybe he's stalking your daughter and stuff...