What if your still really good friends with your first love?

Question

I'm still good friends with my first love.. I gave everything to him.. my heart soul and body. We were talking about getting back together a few months after our break up. I still love him and I still care about him.. and now he's dating this one girl, and obviously i'm jealous but one day i went over to his house and he was rubbing my shoulders and then he tried to kiss me... I'm soo confused.. and this was about a month ago.. i havent really seen him since.. except for last week.. it's like everytime we tlk on the phone or computer or when we are around other people we fight or make fun of each other.. but when we are alone we are perfectly fine and good friends.. I dont know what to do.. I havent dated anyone since him and it's been almost nine months.. he knows i still love him and i want him back.. but i dont know what to do.. because i cant talk to him without being afraid he's at work or with his current gf. Help!!

Answer 1

Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you're going through, I was in Love with my best friend and after we dated, it wasn'tthe same for a while, he actually dated my female best friend and somehow, I managed to stomach it through their entire year and a half realtionship still being best friends with my first love. It could just be that you "gave him your body" so to speak, if you were a virgin before it, you may be tricking yourself into believe he;s the one for you because of that, sex can really mess with your head. Tough it out and see what happens with his girlfriend, try to stay close friends without letting your emotions hurt your friendship.

Answer 2

Well you are obviously not "really good friends" or you would be confortable as friends in any situation. It seems you are not comfortable in a friend relationship in any situation. You need to tell him how you feel, that you're not ok with trying to be "just friends", but also that you are happy for him if he is happy with the other girl and does not feel the same. DO NOT throw in your jealousy issues if you ever want a chance to get back together. It sounds like he still likes you too. However, if he says he still wants to stay with his current gf than you have to accept that. At that point cut all contact with him for awhile. Then maybe someday you can reconnect and start over, but do remember, you broke up for a reason. If it does work out, great! If not, then yes, it will hurt and it will suck, but you WILL be ok and move on. We all do.

Answer 3

This is why it's not possible to be friends with an EX. You can and should be friendly towards him but actually having a friendship relationship is not likely. Now you can smile because as much as you are missing him he's missing you this is where all the games come from. This is what you should do next time you are together around your friends and other people say this, "Baby I love you let's stop fooling ourselves and get back together" Don't worry about the girl he's seeing consider that collateral damage(rebound material) Hope you guys work it out!

Answer 4

Okay first things first... he knows you love him still and he's still with his current girlfriend? Thats a big no no, you need to give your value and place. Show him what he's truly missing out on. You have as much worth as any other girl out there and he's got to respect that. If you can't call him because of his work or current g/f sweety I'd tell you to set him aside, put some distance in your friendship and start haning out with other people. Give yourself a chance to meet someone else... and then you will truly understand if do truly love him.... and at the same time you're showing him your not playing games nor will you allow him to play you and that other girl like fools. Be strong and wise.. give your value and merrit.. if he can't appriciate that and end his current relationship for you... theres a world out there waiting to be discovered by you...

Answer 5

ok. similar situation sum what here. my newest boyfriens (of five months) is my first love's BEST friend. so obviously i see my first love alot. o so much. its the mutual thing also. whenever we are alone we are so sweet an get along an he even tried to kiss me. awkward since my bf is his best friend too. but still sweet cause i loved him for nine yrs. we dated for a year an two months. i didnt date anyone for a while than met the guy i have now. i mean me an my love for bff's for some time there. almost did date again. but didnt. he got someone new. tore me up. and she hated me. same emotions back to her too. well now when im with my bf an him we always make these DIE looks at each other an tease each other so horribly. its awful but once my bf goes away 4 a while hes so sweet. i miss him. an that gurl of his just dumped him an hes so over her. its ovbious. i love my bf now. hes perfect but nothing beats tru first loves. ya know that. so its hard bein around them. but i jut have to say to myself that we broke up for a reaon or elae wed still b together. so no gettin back so in my case i remember what i have in my bf and i try to just see him as what i say.. my friens.. my first love is not classified as first love hes just my friend. i kno its horrid but it will get better. he seems to b messin with your ead. if he wasnt a playr he wouldn rub you an all. cause he taken he wont i just kno it. so just try to see him as "your friend" or mayb even dont b his friend if it temps you. and just try to find someone new. someont to love you. not confuse you. he is the past. find a different dirrection for the future. sorry so long. good luck!

Answer 6

hello kelly! i am in the same situation as you to some extent, but unfortunetly i lost out on being married to my soulmate because i had a child by another man while he was away. fortunetly for you,you still have a chance at getting your love back... kelly just give him some time one thing that i know is that guys don,t like to be rush with anything they are doing or have planned to do. absence will make his heart grow fonder. maybe if you stay away and out of touch with him he will begin to miss the intimacy that you too once share and who knows maybe in the future you two will be husband and wife..good luck

Answer 7

The first love in our life is a very impressionable one because we sacrifice so much...we trust and give a great deal...
without expectation...it's a very innocent time of growth.

And VERY difficult to let go of, especially for an adolescent male.

As painful as it is...it's also a significant jump in the learning index ... which means "maturation and growth".

It's something you will carry with you into future relationships...each new relationship will have a greater sense of maturity and comfort. And sadly...a lesser degree of innocence.

Allow him to move forward.
You will too.
He will remain a precious memory for a long time...as long as you chose to let him...

Nothing special leaves our life, without something greater taking it's place.

Answer 8

I understand and pity you...
your story brought tears to my eyes:

my advice to you is
get him alone, I don't know, ask him out to lunch, pay for his lunch too and then go for a walk in a park...
or something else comparable,
if he comes over to where you live, that's safest!
then with good eye contact
take his hand and
tell him how you feel, tell him everything,
tell him what you want.
what your afraid of happening.
how felt when you broke up.
and how you still want him now...
if I'm right, you end up kissing if not more
and back together...

Answer 9

I sympathize with you, since I know what's it's like to still be crazy about your first love. You haven't dated anyone since him, but he can't say the same--I think that if he wanted to get back with you, he wouldn't have a new girlfriend. As far as him trying to kiss you, my experience has been that ex-boyfriends like to keep that "door" open--he's testing you to see if you're still into him, if he can get you into bed, etc. Unfortunately it doesn't necessarily mean what we women would like it to mean.

Answer 10

that wondeful that you are still friends with your ex. but you
need to think about the fact that he has a another girlfriend.
and how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
if you both want to get back together he need to do the right
thing by the other girl.