When the relationshiop first started we had sex every time I came over. I moved in 2 months after we met and we've been together ever since. I used to initiate sex all the time and after 2 yrs he didn't want to do it any more. After the first 2 yrs I can count on one hand how many times we've had sex each year. I told him I would stop initiating and I did, and it hasn't bothered him one bit after 5 yrs. I've talked to him about it many many times, told him it WAS an issue with me. We are in love with each other, but we have sex about 6 times a year. He sometimes gets annoyed when I look at other and talk about other guys. I know it would be cheating if I hooked up (safely) secretly just so I could feel human again but I am DONE talking about to him it, and I've told him that. Would he have the right to be mad at me if he found out I had safe sex with other guys? Breaking up is not an option after 7 yrs. We do love each other but I've done and said all I can about the sex.
2006-06-21 18:01:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, I'm gay...my handle "diceman74" and my referrences to "him" would imply that to anyone who thinks. Save your ignorant answers.
2006-06-21 18:09:01 · update #1
r u gay????
2006-06-21 18:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, if you have been together for seven years then surely you can find an effective form of communication..just don't seem "nagging" when you talk to him about it. See if he would be willing to do to some sex therapy classes or something...maybe try something totally out of the ordinary...Does he just ignore you when you try stuff? Maybe he has a hard time keeping an erection and is self conscious about it...who knows?
But I STRONGLY suggest that you don't do anything behind his back, how would you like it if he did that to you? You need to find a way to resolve it within the relationship and not go anywhere else, it does not matter if its "safe" its still sex, and its still cheating, and you are still wrong, no matter how good you try to make yourself feel by saying, "it was safe" who cares about safety, care about morale. If there is a will, there is a way.
If you feel like there is no way to get your full potential out of your sex life and resolve your problems within the relationship then listen, 7 years is a hell of a lot shorter than a lifetime. You can not spend the rest of your life with someone you cannot resolve problems with. If you are in love with him you couldn't consider sex elsewhere, so either learn to deal with it, find a way to resolve the issue, or get out of the relationship...you will feel a lot better about yourself in the end.
2006-06-21 18:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by lovingarmywife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a deal breaker so you guys need therapy. You are already considering cheating so it is only a matter of time if you don't nip this in the bud. There is some deep seated reason he doesn't want to have sex so you should take that into account too. It is normal for relationships to have ups and downs but once every two months is not much at all for even the most frigid person.
2006-06-21 18:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by sosickofred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like i wrote this. Today is our 9 yr anniversary..and guess who's in bed sawing logs? thought since i havent gotten it in mos..i would today..at least. I didnt get any. Go out and get ya some. I can only say that cuz i know how you feel. but just count on not feeling any better about it. You'll come home..he wont even notice..and you'll wonder why that other guy wanted you bad enough to have sex with u..and your man..still wont. Its a lose lose situation. Sorry. We just live in the same world.
2006-06-21 18:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by spurdom28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it definitely sucks when your partner does the old "bait and switch" routine. (When you had signed up for who they were, not who they've become).
You need to tell him that having sex 6 times a year is not acceptable to you. Tell him it is an absolute deal-breaker and unless you can resolve the issue, you will be unhappy.
Tell him his options. This may include therapy, a doctor's examination, or simply a change in his ways.
If he refuses to comply, you really need to ask yourself if staying virtually celibate for the duration of your relationship is something you are willing to do.
Wishing you the best.
2006-06-21 18:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by sweet_leaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask his permission to sleep with others. he'll probably not agree but at least you gave him an alternative which is more than what's he's offering you. and just because you have been together for 7 years does not mean that you are obligated to him to be miserable for 67 more years (or more). where's the logic in that. maybe it was only suppose to be for 5 years and it's overdue. 'Do You'. whatever that means for you. you can love from afar. it might hurt at first but distance can be a beautiful thing when it comes to sorting out what's important to you. now think about it, you'll be pissed at yourself if he comes home one day and says that he wants out. you'll be kickin' yourself for puttin up with less than you deserved for so long while he is 'doin him'. so 'Do You Boo'.
2006-06-21 18:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's o v e r .
You are holding on to the idea of being together,
but your not on the same track.
Sex is a big part of the togetherness, and real
love is to. Face it, you really aren't that much
into each other. It's worn it's self out.
Breaking up happened about a year after you
started living together.You just got comfortable.
2006-06-21 18:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yr not the only ones that are living like this so don't think its just you. some ppl are just like that where sex dosnt matter anymore its not a big issue. do what you have to do to be comfortable and forfilled as long as you are honest with each other
2006-06-21 18:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety you over dosed him and he has had enough so my advice to you is to move on
2006-06-21 18:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by lavinyac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably already cheating on you.....dump him....you deserve some sexual action!!!
2006-06-21 18:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by kit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋