My dad (stepdad) passed away in July 04 and I didn't find out until I tried to call him in Nov 04. His girlfriend told me he died. His family didn't try to make any contact whatsoever. I'm still struggling with it. I want to write to his family and tell them that I loved him as if he were my real dad. And tell them I'm very hurt still and I miss him every day. Is this appropriate?
2006-06-21 17:45:19 · 9 answers · asked by CorpRed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thank you all for the responses so far. Just a reason I didn't speak to him for so long. I live in Denver and he moved to an extremely rural part that often times the phone lines would be on and off. I'd of course show my sympathy because they lost a son and a brother. I think I want to show that he was loved even more than they knew.
Thank you all. Your kind words me a lot to me. A perfect stranger.
2006-06-21 18:00:25 · update #1
You should definitely write a letter of sympathy and tell them how much you loved him. You should NOT tell them how much they hurt you. They are grieving their own loss and won't understand what you are saying. But if you show sincere, heartfelt sympathy, they will start to figure out on their own that they made a tragic mistake. Well, maybe they'll never figure that out ... their behavior is unbelievably bad. Yet forgiveness is the best thing you can do right now. Just keep it all on the positives about your step dad. Kinda wierd that so much time passed before you tried to call him but I know how it goes.
Your story makes me very sad. That isn't normal behavior they are showing. Your step dad was a lucky man to have a girl like you in his life.
2006-06-21 17:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do whatever you feel is necessary to put closure on your feelings. However, a few things to consider. First, you might want to ask yourself what it is you expect to gain from writing them....you may not get a response once again. Then, you might want to consider how the letter would make his family feel. Who knows why they chose not to include you during their time of grieving, and I'm sure that you would not want to make them feel guilty. Finally, then you could always write your step-dad a letter expressing remorse for having not been around during that time, and you could put the letter into an envelope and simply keep it. Either way, the decision is yours to make......Best wishes with whatever you decide...
2006-06-22 00:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that you're hurt because you miss him or that you're hurt because they didn't let you know?
We don't have to be related by blood to people to care about them, and miss them when they're gone.
But if it was just his girlfriend (not his wife) she didn't have any social obligation to contact anyone. That's part of what the process of marriage is about--being family. She was just another person who was not related to him, and may have figured since you weren't "related" you wouldn't care either.
I'm not saying that's right, just that may be what she thought.
As for writing them to just say you miss him--I would write and say what a wonderful person he was. No one could be offended by that, and maybe it would help them feel a tie with you.
2006-06-22 00:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Nothing is more precious than the love of a daughter and father. Write to them also giving them your best regards. And hope that they are doing alright.
Tell them exactly how you feel, I am sure they will understand. Loosing someone that you love is the hardest thing to come by..
2006-06-22 00:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by echoesrocker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write it like you were writing it to him.
I am raising kids not my own but love them as if they were.
It is a tough spot for a parent... we try so hard to be what is needed but still not to intrude.
I love these kids with my life... but I may never know for sure if it is the same for them. It really doesn't matter in one sense... but in the other, it means all the world...
Write it. Speak your love...
2006-06-22 00:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by sincityq 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is, it will let them know you cared for him as they do. Not only that, it may help you to say goodbye as well. Even if they do not reply to you, I think it would be a nice way to say bye to them if nothing else.
2006-06-22 00:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is very appropriate that you write them, or send a card, and tell exactly what he meant to you...
Sorry for your lose
2006-06-22 00:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES I WOULD WRITE THEM AND TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM IT WOULD REALLY MEAN ALOT TO THEM TO NO YOU CARED SO MUCH FOR THERE SON/BROTHER IM SORRY TO HERE THIS HAPPEN BUT YOU NEED TO BE STRONG AND RIGHT TO THEM AND GIVE CONDOLENCES OF THERE LOSS BUT LET THEM NO ITS YOUR LOSS TO ITS HARD DEALING WITH THIS BUT BEST OF LUCK TO YOU
2006-06-22 02:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by samm5683 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should write too them even thou he was your step dad he still took CARE of you
2006-06-22 00:49:02 · answer #9 · answered by precious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋