my husbands parents are all pis*ed off because i am not ready to let anyone besides MY mom or husband babysit her alone. I let my mom because shes MY mom and i trust her with my life because she raised me i know how she does things. me and his parents had a big blow out about this. its not that they have done anything to ever hurt her i just am not ready for it. also i think how dare they question who watchs my kid. what do u guys think?
2006-06-21 17:44:41 · 17 answers · asked by jkgilbo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think your being selfish, it is their grandchild too, your husband's parents, how would you feel if he only wanted them to watch her and not yours.? You have no valid reason stated here to justify they are not capable, neglectful, etc.
You opened up Pandora's box on this one!
2006-06-21 17:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by DollyLama 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your inlaws are understandably hurt. Your kid is their son's child, who they raised the best they knew how. And their joy in seeing their grandbaby is a credit to you. You might be getting a little clingy here. Based on my experience with my ex and the way she felt about my mother and my family, I can tell you that you will do irreparable damage to your relationship with your husband and his family if you take a strong stand here. You've got the ace in the hole - the grandbaby. Don't make this a fight. You are putting your husband in an incredibly difficult position. You see, he loves his parent incredibly and you are sort of forcing him to pick a side that he shouldn't have to pick.
Your baby won't break. Even if your mother in law does things differently than your mom, she seemed to raise your husband without killing him.
Sorry, but I have to take the side of your husband and his family ... which is really your side. The children you bring into this world need to be loved by the entire family, not just your side of the family.
Ever wonder why so many people struggle with marriage and so many get divorced? It is because hard issues like this come up in everyone's life and most of us don't handle them very well. Please try to do better with this opportunity.
2006-06-21 18:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were uncomforable with the idea of them babysitting so they blew up at you and now you feel much safer, right? :)
Where was your husband in all this? You don't mention him being there. I can understand your not wanting them to watch her, but it would have been better if He had explained it to them, you shouldn't have had to!
A 2 month old is tiny/delicate/fragile! Have them over, let them hold her for a few minutes, then when she cries you go feed her/change her and put her to bed. A 2 month old doesn't need to be separated from her mom that much anyway. In a few months she will be much stronger and more interested in what's going on in the world. And by then, maybe you will see that they can be trusted.
(Trust is earned, not demanded.)
2006-06-21 18:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are willing to let your husband babysit your daughter because he does it right. Who raised your husband to be the fine man that he is today? His parents. If they did such a great job raising your husband they most certainly will not do any thing to harm your baby. All they want to do is spend time with their baby's baby.
I do know what you are feeling and thinking presently because I went through a similar phase. Your daughter is yours and your husband's and you basically are not willing to share her time, affection and caring duties with your in laws the way you have to share your husband.
If they are questioning who watches you baby it is because they are hurt and angry that you do not trust them to protect the baby with their life.
A suggestion.Why don't you let them spend time with their granddaughter in you presence so you too will be reassured that you are at hand if handling your baby is too much for them and at the same time they have the satisfaction of playing with their grand daughter.
Remember One thing when doubt raises its ugly head. "They raised the boy who is now your husband."
I'm sure you will manage to work things out just fine.
2006-06-21 17:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being selfish. The more you expose your child to new environments and people - the quicker they will adapt later in life. Unless you have a valid reason for them NOT to take care of your kid (ie, they abused your husband) then let them babysit for a few hours.
Grandparent are great (and free!) caregivers with tons of experience. Plus, its always to good to get out of the house and have some adult time.
2006-06-21 17:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by PeppermintandPopcorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I artwork in childcare with little ones lower than 2 and it really is the ratio I have. and also you no what its confusing and Im someone. i could not in any respect leave a baby to do an identical. Heck i does no longer leave somewhat one with any minor. An older toddler relying on the age perchance. those mum and dad obviously do no longer pick to pay for someone more advantageous experienced to have a tendency to the little ones. i will allow you to comprehend at present it will be overwhelming, VERY confusing, and also you would possibly want to attain a factor the position you pick to scream and run out the door. you could have the three older ones moving into 3 instructions and the toddler screaming for interest(that scream that is like someone beating a cats nails on the black bored) what's going to you do then? what's going to you do even as all of them are hungry or drained? even as they're all crying rapidly? One blows ot their diaper and desires to be bathed, yet the different ones gained't sit down nevertheless? you want to lead them to food and watch them jointly? you want to bypass to the bathing room? can't bypass outdoors, yet the little ones are operating round screaming? attempting to do something relaxing with the older ones yet the more youthful 2 gained't assist you to? What if one receives ill and throws up throughout consisting of on you? this is a catastrophe contained in the making in case you question me. Sorry you would no longer like it, and that i comprehend young ones imagine they're "adults" yet it really isn't any sturdy
2016-10-20 12:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by gripp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a power trip to me. They are the grandparents of that baby. They love your baby as much as your parents do, and of course would never let anything happen to it. It may be your baby, but it's your husband's child too, and that is his mom and dad.
2006-06-21 17:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the baby's mother and YOU make the decision of who watches her. I can understand your concerns as your little one is still so "new". Now, it is sad if your in-laws cannot see your point of view I hope your husband sides with you if not, you need to get a little talk with him to explain why you do not feel comfortable letting his parent babysit your little girl yet but that eventually, they will get their turn.
2006-06-21 17:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by bluedawn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if it helps, try going over there for longer periods of time and let them hold the baby and care for the baby while you are there, when the baby cries, let them deal with it while you sit back and watch. I guess you need to see with your own eyes that they can handle this task. It may not happen over night, but little by little you will see the baby is in good hands.
2006-06-21 17:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by wondering 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good grief, let your in-laws watch the kid for heaven's sake
they raised your husband didn't they
someday your gonna be dying for somebody to watch the kid and give you a break or let you go to the dentist or whatever
a decent, reliable, related couple willing to watch your kid is a godsend, jump on it
2006-06-21 17:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by enginerd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋