Pleaseeeeee helpp otherwise i'll commit suicide?

Question

PLS READ THIS PATIENTLY AND HELP ME. Ours is a conservative Indian family. I know my mom shares a spcl. relationship with one of our neighbour who is a married man with one child. Now I'm 26 and when I was 14-15 I am sure my mom had sex with this fellowwhen my father was out of station. Still now whenever he visits our house my mom tries to impress her sexually. I've nothing to do except silently witnessing this. Even this fellow visits my mother when I & my father are outside our house. My mom tactically says me to remain outside. My father is an idiot and I sometime wander whether he is blind. This kind of relationship of my mother had adversely affected my studies from the very beginning of my carrier. Now I feel very lonely. I proposed to a girl 2 yrs ago but she refused. I sometime lack motivation and feel like going to an ashram. I have to bear the infidelity of my mother as long as I live and strangely I can'nt protest. No one loves me. PLS DON"T SUGGEST 2 VISIT A DOCTOR.

Answer 1

You need to talk to your Mother about it. You could at least go to a support group that could help you understand. Your Mother seems to be a sex addict. There are support groups for this as well as depression groups to help you learn not to let your Mother's behavior affect you. If you attended one of those or one online, you may could learn to talk to your Mother better. There is a better way.

You don't have to go to an ashram to learn how to calm your nerves and meditate. There are many who do this in their own life as a part of their daily life to help them. I know it helps me. You are very important and your studies are important to you. You are worth the effort.

Answer 2

You can't let the acts of your mother bring you down, it's her choice to cheat on your father. One thing you shouldn't do is tell your father, you should talk to you mother about it if it bothers you this much, she is your mother and she loves you she will hear you out. Trying to get ride of your mother's boyfriend won't help because if she cheats once with one person she'll cheat with someone else. To help you deal with the deppression and anxiety of this situation you can take some over the counter herbal remedies for Anxiety that you can find in you local Nutrition store or pharmacy the medicines are St. John's Worts or Kava. Going back to the issue though, it must be very distressing to see this and I think the best thing to do is move far away from your parent so you won't have to be exposed to it. Make sure you don't let this situation effect your future relationship I don't know how you can do that other than seeing a therapist to explore just how deeply it's effected you. but you said yourself you don't want to see a doctor

Answer 3

I'm not sure why your mother's infidelity would make you want to commit suicide but I suggest you confront her with what you know or suspect. Hear her side of it. It's possible that you could be mistaken. And even if you're right, it's also possible that your father is aware of this and prefers to remain in denial.

Incidentally, you are not responsible for the behavior of either one of your parents. Do not take on responsiblities that are not yours. You're 26 years old. You are an adult. Act like one. You don't have to stay there and witness your mother making a fool of your father. Leave.

Answer 4

you are from a different culture so I am not sure you would do what I suggest, but maybe it is time for a change.
Why can't you moveo out on your own? Do you live in the States?
I believe your mother needs to know that you know what she is doing and that it hurts you deeply. Your father needs to know this too. I would pack to move. Let your parents know what is going on. Tell them that you can't live there under such horrible circumstances. Then move. Make a new life for yourself.
Don't let the sin's of your parents ruin your life. You need to be self relient and positive in your choices. Leave the crazy past behind. Time for you to choose happiness. YOU DON"T have to bear the infidelity of your mother. This is a while new world.

Answer 5

First of all, what you are experiencing in feeling suicidal is that you want the situation to end. You do not have to end your life to get relief from the situation. But if you commit suicide, you will never get an opportunity to see a better life.

I used to be that way once. I realized this powerful truth. I just wanted out of the situation. Could that really be what you want. The Situation to end, instead of having your life end,.

First of all, look at each issue separately. You do have worth. One girl refused your proposal, but there are a lot of other women around. That one was not "Ms. Right" You might be 26, but that's not too old to find a better relationship.

Second of all, your mother is the one with the problem. She's being deceptive. Don't let her drag you into the situation. Sure your dad is an idiot for not realizing it, but she's the one in the wrong.

I want you to do something right now before you end it all. Take a breath. Realize that if you kill yourself, you do end the situation, but then you will NEVER get a chance for a better life. Do you really want to take a chance that you will miss out on something better? Trust me, it WILL get better. It's just a case of where and when.

There is something much better out there waiting for you. Just open your eyes and heart to it.

Blessings and prayers and hope to you for a better life.

Answer 6

First of all let me say that I know you are struggling and I hear your pain. I'm glad you're asking for help, that means that you don't really 'want' to hurt yourself. You just want the pain to stop. I hope if what I say doesn't help, that what someone else says, does.

I'm concerned that you're taking on so much hurt from the behavior of your mother. You are not responsible for your mother's behavior. And your mother's behavior should not define who you are.

It also seems to hurt you that your father is not recongizing your mother's behavior. Again, you can not be responsible for what you father refuses to recognize or deal with. Maybe he'd rather just ignore it then deal with it. But, again- your father's behavior does not define who you are.

Be your own person. You are a kind and sensitive person, that is clear. If others aren't, that is their problem. As for the girl who refused to marry you- it's her loss. There are other women out there, give them a chance!

You are still so young. I'm 53 and when I was your age, I was much like you. Take care of yourself and remember you cannot change your mother or father. You can only change yourself, and the way you live your life. Please- go out and live your life!

Remember:
"Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.....The purpose of life is to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have it make some difference that we lived at all." (Leo Roston)

If you don't start feeling better soon, then please do see someone for treatment for depression. You are far too young to be giving up!

Answer 7

Your mother's actions are just that..........

She does or doesn't do somthing - that is out of your hands. Your parents marriage thats out of your hands to.

There are a million things you have control over and a million you don't. If you think you are responsible for the actions of others than your life is going to be miserable.

So you are lonely - go and do somthing about that. Go somewhere to meet people and don't sit in the corner and wait for some gorgeous chick to come over to you. Go and talk about sports or whatever the hell interests you.
You come from a conservative Indian family - are you a conservative Indian?

Want to talk to others about your problem then just tell it as if it was your friend Johnny having the problem not you.

If you want to kill yourself to relieve your own suffering then at least try the above first ..........give it a 3 month trial if after that nothing looks better than do whatever you want to ......I won't take responsibility for your actions because I can't control them - get it?

If you go to a Dr. and threaten suicide they will lock you up - remember that.Be careful what you tell profesionals they aren't that bright -

Answer 8

Why have you based so much of your self worth and your life on your mothers poor choices? You have a choice, you can take what your mother has done and let it drive you down~which you have, or you can see the wrong path and choose to take the right one. Don't love your mother any less, just don't let her dictate and ruin your life! It's not too late for you to change your mind and make the choice to do the right thing and prove to everyone that it's better to overcome your past and be a good person than to let someone else take away your happiness. As for the woman you proposed to, honey, we all get rejected! You just haven't found the right woman yet. I don't know about no one loving you, you are depressed and that makes it hard to see the people who do love you. Seek them out and find someone you trust to talk to. Find something new to get excited about. Do you really want to go down in history as being a statistic? Do you want to loose out on life and give up a future happier than your past? Suicide is selfish and stupid.

Failures aren't failures when they fail, failures are failures when they give up trying. Don't be a failure!!!

Answer 9

Your mother's infidelity's are her actions and none of it is your responsibility nor could you or can you do anything to change it.

You need to focus only on your life, you are not responsible for her and you do not need to carry her burden on your shoulders. You need to have your own life and do what is best for you. Maybe you need to talk to your Father about all of this and your Mom. Get it out in the open, having secrets like this in a family is not good for anyone.

If you are living in your parents home, you should get away from the situation, that would help you out immensely.

Answer 10

You don't have to bear anything. This is your mother's infidelity and you have no part in it. Maybe your father knows but just looks the other way or he is completely in his own World. It's a shame you feel responsible and allowed it to effect your own life. That is your mother's shame. Have you discussed it with her? I don't know Indian customs so, maybe that is not permitted but, you should share your feelings with her anyway. She has hurt you in this way by making it obvious to you. Please don't feel like it's the end. Regarding your own personal love life, don't look too hard for a mate. Wait until someone comes along. Allow things to happen naturally. You need to get away from that atmosphere before it completely destroys you.

Answer 11

look honey, your father is no idiot by far. if his IQ is more than 100. he sees and he knows. some people deal with it differently. trust me, your father is laughing at your mom inside because he is fooling around with a younger and much prettier young lady. your mom is not getting over on anyone but herself. sorry you had to see all this. do not judge your relationships by what your parents have or had. make it better. do not judge your parents either. vow to not cheat on a woman and at the same time don't always accuse your woman because you may lose a good thing. red flags are very clear. you'll know if someone is cheating or lying. the only way you can be happy in future relationships is not to carry someone else's baggage into your relationship (or your own). mom and dad will take care of themselves and what they can't do, GOD will. have you ever heard of KARMA? it works! be strong! you'll be fine. ps don't ever let the girls see you sweat! take care.