If I really just don't believe in Christianity, why do Christians give me 'that look'?

Question

My family was just over, and they are very Christian. Pastors and all. It was hard for me to break away from Christianity and find my own beliefs.I get confused after they leave. They look at each other with this knowing look if they see cards, or give them my old Christian books that they asked for when I was done with them... I feel like I need to hide myself and perform to get the acceptence they claim they give in Chist-like love... Then they want my daughter to stay over for 3 or 4 days... but I don't want her too, because I don't want her head messed with at this young age. And because I don't want her to talk about re-incarnation or anything that will bring me more 'mercy' or 'love in Jesus' or 'prayers for the devil to get out of my life' or critism. When they leave, like just now, I feel like 'are they right and I'm really on the wrong path? Is Satan really in my head?', then I feel sad, confused. I was peaceful before they came over. Am I wrong to follow my heart?

Answer 1

No. You're not wrong to follow your heart. I'm not saying this as a disrespect to Christians, but Christians tend to have a "holier-than-thou" attitude and can make some people feel like crap if allowed to mess with people's heads. I can definitely related to you not wanting to send your daughter, because that's exactly what's going to happen; they're going to fill her head with things you don't want. She is YOUR daughter. Raise her as you see best. Satan is NOT in your head. They will say that to confuse you and make you what THEY want. If it isn't what YOU want, then, when they come around, listen politely to what they have to say, but allow it all to escape through "the other ear." Know what I mean? Christians always believe that anyone who doesn't follow their path is bad or driven by Satan. It's all a load of bullocks, luv. Continue being yourself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don't let them drive you mad.


Blessed Be!
Coven of Witches
http://www.thecovenofwitches.com

Answer 2

Of course not. If no one followed their heart, then everyone would walk around like sheep. I think you have every right to believe what you want, and it is definitely a good idea for you to shelter your daughter from anything religious. I believe it is better to raise a child without any religion involved. That way when the child is older they can make their own decisions.

Your parents are still thinking that you are a child. They most likely see your decision as the desperately wrong one, and this can be pretty frustrating to you. But stand strong with your believes, and let your parents know you are very serious about how you live your life.

Also, if you don't want your daughter to go to your parents house for a few days, don't let her. She is after all your daughter, and although your parents have every right to see her and be a part of her life, YOU are the one who decides on how she is raised. If you believe you are doing the best thing for her, then you are justified.

Answer 3

I wish I could write something that I knew would make you feel better. You are right to follow your heart, no person can or should tell you what to believe. I think an unexamined faith is a worthless faith and faith you are forced into is a kind of slavery. Take some time to allow yourself to think things through but don't allow outside pressure to dictate your beliefs, it should come from inside. Maybe try reading some books, there are many out there from religious critiques, biblical criticisms, apologetics, books on other religions/faiths. Without knowing your background completely I don't know what to recommend. I think sometimes if you read a wide range of things you find yourself drawn the things that are inside yourself but you hadn't given full expression to. Do you know what I mean? If your family loves you they will have to accept your personal beliefs even if they never like it. You will need to be strong in yourself, realize that if they don't accept you it is their shortcoming not yours.

As for your daughter, allow her to find her own path as well. It may be different from your and your parents even. Allow her to be exposed to different ideas and make up her own mind as she matures. Encourage her to think for herself and teach her to think critically. You need not be too worried about her being exposed to your family so long as you can talk to her openly about why you believe or don't believe the way that you do and discuss respect for different beliefs with her. Your difference in faiths can actually be a learning opportunity for her.

Satan is not in your head, follow your heart.

Answer 4

appears like you went to a fundamentalist church. try an Orthodox Christian or Catholic Christian church. we do not bypass round telling human beings they're going to hell, and we do not recruit. you're youthful and doubtless very idealistic. As you grow old you'll locate that there are a good number of hypocrites in existence. i understand the way you experience; i do not comprehend how they stay with themselves, saying one element and doing yet another. yet there are also good and truthful human beings. do not choose all Christians through some Christians. i'm a religious Orthodox Christian with associates of assorted religions and atheists.

Answer 5

Keep your strength and find your own path. I never believed in Christianity and would look for answers. My family thought I was nuts. So I kept it quiet. I was unhappy and stayed that way to make others happy. Then cam the day I needed to make myself happy. I began to research other religions and found my own beliefs in Islam. Now I am sure that you know how my family feels about me now. But I am finally at peace with myself. A friend of mine had the same experience when she left Catholicism and now she is Wiccian.

You just need to find where you need to be and if they love you they will still be there for you.

My sons are free to chose as well although I am teaching them Islam. My oldest has chosen Islam as his path and that created new problems with my Mother but now she knows the has free will and choice and she is not to bother him.

I wish you the best in your journey

Answer 6

It isn't Christians you are asking about. It is a family who cares for you and knows what you once believed. They are critical, because you are. They raised you in the way they thought best. Now you tell them it wasn't best. Of course they are going to try to convince you it was for the best. As far as them "messing" with your daughter's head, don't worry about that. She will grow up to make her own decisions regardless of what they, or you, teach her. Just as you have. If you want to teach her to make her own mind up about things, don't teach her to believe your way, either. Tell her, "This is what I believe, you need to decide what you believe." How can she know what options there are if you keep her just as sheltered from Christianity as you were from everything else? If you are concerned, assure them that God has given you charge over her as her mother to "train her in the way she should go" and not to them, and that they need not evangelize her, but that if she asks questions then they answer them.

About your confusion: Pray. God hears you, and will answer. He speaks directly to our hearts and does not need a hypnotist, tarot cards, a priest, or anything else if we open our hearts to the truth. I have known people to even hear an audible (hearable) voice of God. Ordinary people. The power of your faith is inside you. Pray, seek, ask, stop, and listen. Do not get so wrapped in the questions that you can't stop to listen for an answer.

I use the word God because I believe in Christ. I was raised agnostic, with Buddhist influence. I know about making my own choices. You may use whatever term to describe God, but the most effective I have found is "Jesus." Make sure that when you pray, pray to the Everlasting Creator of the World, even if you don't believe in the Christian God, there is only one being who could honestly answer you based on that title, that would be whoever actually DID make the world.

I pray you find the truth, and that you find whatever the truth is.

Answer 7

I've been given that look too. You are right..it doesn't make you feel too good. But just remember you're as good as they are or anybody else for that matter. My mother once told me when I was a child that God loves me, but he also loves the meanest man in the world JUST THE SAME! I didn't like the thoughts of that.. Nobody likes to feel inferior. Don't let them make you feel that way..The decision about your daughter is up to you. You're a mother and that's one of the most important goals to reach and be for any human.. Keep your chin up. My mother is dead now, but I remember she told me that. I remember it every time I get a look of disdain or any other negative look..

Answer 8

first of all, i am a christian. and as a christian, i dont believe in pressuring people into something they dont want. not all christians are the same. i understand you becuz i was born as a pastors daughter...its A LOT of pressure!! especially if all your family is christian.just express to them how you feel, and if they still dont want to respect your wishes, maybe you should stop seeing less of them. and about your kids, they're YOUR kids.....you raise them how you see fit. dont let anyone tell you whats best for them. i will tell you one thing though, jesus keeps loving you whether you want to follow him or not.
good luck

Answer 9

There are too many unknowns in you question. Ahe answer you need will nt be found here I am afraid. I can only answer from a Christian Faith perspective. Are you wrong to follow your heart? Maybe, if it has been jurt or hardened by missunderstanding of otherss. first understand the hurt , and where it came from, that turned you from the Faith of your family. Was your decision truly against God or was it against a hurt from within your family. or other difficulty in your personal life. If Your problem was/is with your family why take it out on God by turning from Him. I can tell you personaly, from my relationship with Him, that God has not rejected you. If you have been "turned off" by over zelous Bible thump'n, there are many of The Christian Faith who will welcome you with out beating you over the head with dogman of mans interpritation.. God is infinitly patient. Takeyour time and come to a true understanding of the source of your discontent. I can assure you it is not God. That aint the way he works. By bet is that youhave been turned off by human errors in understanding God's Will.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like your heart is telling you something already ... your use of words indicates that you feel guilty. If you no longer believe, why do you care? I thought athiests felt so free with their "truth", so why do you sound like someone trapped by their own emotions?

If your beliefs aren't working for you, try something else. If that doesn't work, keep going, you'll find something eventually that will give you a moment's respite, before you need to move on again so you can "feel" good. Good luck to you, I'll stick with God :)