How does a two year old automatically know to be in the "terrible twos"?

Answer 1

Its terrible 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, and so on...

Answer 2

This is the stage in development when the child is at his most curious yet independant. he is trying to become a personality of his own, and wants to control his own life to a certain extent. This is unfortunately also when he is still dependant on you for much. He is also desparate to communicate but is unable to express himself properly and is therefore frustrated and angry.

Enjoy them ! they Do last - they just become terrible 3's :) Seriuosly, with a good amount of understanding from the parent, some space and independance, good discipline and a happy relationship, the two's arent as terrible as everyone makes them out to be!

Answer 3

It is around two the child's mental development kicks in. They start to become an independent person, and with all major life changes it is a turbulent time for all parties involved.

Answer 4

I don't know why it is called the "terrible twos" just wait until they turn 3!

Answer 5

somebody told me once that the term "terrible twos" means:
starts at 2 months and ends at 22 years old.
lol!!

Answer 6

It isn't really the terrible twos. It really helps to understand how toddlers think. Then you can develop ways to deal with them that can make this year and those to come downright delightful! 2 can be a very fun year!

I wish I could remember the name of my favorite toddler stage book! Sorry, my youngest is 11 so its been a while, but here's some tips.

1. At this age a child is just discovering they actually have some power over their lives so they are perpetually testing it (and you in the process). For example, they will say "no" to everything even when they don't mean no. This is part of learning the power of the word. The good news is, this passes very quickly.

You deal with it by asking as few questions that require a yes or no answer.

2. Give your toddler choices. This gives them power, but don't give them broad choices, give them limited choices (so you are still in control). For example, a bad question is "what would you like for breakfast?" It's bad because you will almost certainly get an answer you didn't want. I mean, are you really up to cooking french toast today?

A better question is "which would you prefer for breakfast, rice crispies or cheerios?" See..baby gets a choice but within limits you control.

Another good one, instead of saying "do you want to take a bath now?" You ask "do you want your story now or your bath first?"

Also try to limit your use of the word "no." Try to put a positive spin when redirecting your child. For example "Get down off the table" or "Don't stand on the table" can be spun positively into "Floors are for standing, tables are for things not boys." (then you pick him up and put him on the floor).

Redirection is a big deal when they get into stuff they shouldn't be into.

Tantrums -...the perennial parental favorite - NOT!
Tantrums only exist if there is an audience. No one to watch, no tantrum. Tantrums will happen often if they get the child what they want, so NEVER give in! You will be sorry if you do.

At home...you can walk into another room (and when they follow you only to plop down and scream in front of you, you move again), or you can pick the child up and say "we do our fussing in the bedroom" and put them there.

Don't lose your cool, it will escalate things.

Sometimes a toddler is really too wound to calm down. Then you may need to either hold them firmly (cross their arms across their chest and hold firm but not to cause pain). Or for some kids, splashing water helps them regain their composure.

In public, the best techniques avoid them and here's a few:

1. Don't take hungry or tired kids into a public situation or you're asking for a fussy kid.

2. Foreshadow - tell them before you go where you are going, what you will be doing and what you expect from them. You can make a promise for good behavior if you want to (not always necessary).

For example: We are going to the mall. If you stay with me and don't make a fuss, we'll look through the toy store for ideas for your next birthday. We are NOT buying anything for you today. If you make a fuss, we will leave the store immediately and not look at toys.

At the park: We will be going to the park today. 5 minutes before its time to go (and yes..we all know they can't tell time..but the words still have value) I'm going to warn you that you only have 5 minutes left to play. When I say it is time to go, we are leaving and you are not to fuss. If you cry when it is time to go, we won't be able to go back to the park for a week.

And yes..you must follow up on your promises.

If your child gets fussy or throws a tantrum in pubic, you need to remove them from the situation. Time outs ARE in order. I have sat outside of a restaurant waiting for my child to calm down and admit they are ready to behave. In a store you can hunt out a quiet spot if leaving isn't practical.

I got a good trick off my favorite parenting book author, John Rosemond, that I actually used once and a parent who saw me was truly impressed. It sounds dumb but darn if it didn't work like a charm.

My 2 year old daughter was mad because I wanted to leave the toy department at Target. She immediately tried the "throw myself on the floor and scream" technique to try to get me to cave. I looked at her and said "Heather, the store has rules and tantrums can only be done in the special tantrum spot. Here let's go there.

I took her by the hand, and yes! She actually shut up! I then walked her to a quiet area near the carpet, sat her down and said "okay, we're here. You can cry now." She just looked up at me and started to laugh.

So...that silly idea worked! I'm still shocked.

If you can find any of Rosemond's books, get them. He's full of common sense that seems to be missing in too many homes.

Answer 7

They don't. Many children--especially those whose needs are respected--never get terrible when they become two.

Answer 8

They don't. It's just them gaining independence and thats the age they go through that phase. It's pre-programmed

Answer 9

2 is the age when they can tell when your distracted or not paying attention, when they see this in they're heads they say "um, shes not looking, now i can see what happens when i throw my cup of juice at the dog"

Answer 10

Sense of independence. It is a age thing.