my boyfriend has cheated on me in the past i am really tryng to forgive he and move on but i often think he is

Question

still cheating when really hes not yes i do what to make this work please help

Answer 1

So you want to make a relationship work with someone who you think is still cheating on you? You don't think you deserve any better?

If you want to make it work I guess you have to be ok with him cheating on you. Hopefully no one is that desperate for attention.

Answer 2

Trust is such a fragile thing. Once shattered, the shards go off in so many directions. You hurt, you may want to hurt him in return, you check his phone, his emails, his IM's, expecting him to cheat. If he is truly trying to be faithful, and you want this to work, make sure he knows how you feel about him...and often. Another thing that might move this relationship along, sit down with him and ask him why he cheated on you...what needs were met by his cheating. This could be really eye-opening, if he can be honest. Expect it to hurt, though, suga. Just follow this.If you cant trust him then it might not work out because trust is the main thing in a relationship.Also if he ever tells you to respect him then you should tell him that respect and trust is earned not demanded.If he has cheated on you before then I say forgive but don't forget. Maybe you are still insecure about you're last cheat situation. Only thing is, you have to put him on a leash this time and he must be trained. If it makes you feel any better, Gwen Stefani's husband used to be like that and now since she has controlled that , he has changed. But if you are noticing things then I am sorry but there is no other word of aadvice but dump his ***. Maybe you don't want to break up because you are too scared you won't love like that again but really you have to give other guys, sweeter guys a chance. If he hasn't shown that he is on the wire again then believe him, you promised him a second chanceso REALLY give it to him. if you see he screws up this one. Then he is out of the ballpark. I know you really don't want to leave him and it's sweet but think about how he is acting. You are sweet, you care so much for him, but is this how much he cares for you? Ifh e promises he has changed and really has then forgive him but don't forget since you promised him but if he still seems like that then dump him you can do better. Good luck :)!Also, well i have learned from experience that if you don't forgive completely then it won't work. because you won't be able to trust him. trust me you don't want to live that way. you will be miserable. you will always be wondering about everything he does and doesn't do. get out. because you don't trust him because you still think he is cheating

Answer 3

It depends how long you have been with him. If it's a new relationship, I say dump him because there is no excuse for cheating on a new girlfriend. But if you've been with him a while, like more than a couple of years, and you want to forgive him, really it is up to him to EARN his trust but being an open book about everything he does, and everywhere he goes. You hide nothing if you have nothing to hide.

Then it is up to YOU to trust him. If he is where he says he will be, if he doesn't hide anything then you need to get over it and move on. Bury the past and start fresh but it's a two way street. It's hard but it can be done.

Answer 4

In order to make it work you are trully going to have to forgive him, not just say it but really do it. That is the hadest part, because if you can't forgive him then you really don't have a future. As far as trust, that is something that he has to earn back. He can't expect to cheat and then get the trust back right away. Make him work, but be fair to him. And if you really want it to work then you need to put it in the past and leave it there. If you forgive him then it is not fair to keep throwing it in his face. Everyone makes mistakes. You need to decide if this is something that you can forgive and move past and work through. If it is then let him know that its something that you need to do together, sorry is not good enough. If he ever does it again though I would leave.

Answer 5

Trust is such a fragile thing. Once shattered, the shards go off in so many directions. You hurt, you may want to hurt him in return, you check his phone, his emails, his IM's, expecting him to cheat. If he is truly trying to be faithful, and you want this to work, make sure he knows how you feel about him...and often. Another thing that might move this relationship along, sit down with him and ask him why he cheated on you...what needs were met by his cheating. This could be really eye-opening, if he can be honest. Expect it to hurt, though, suga.

Answer 6

Give him a chance, if it happens again then i guess you should just move on, but chances are the next guy just might be worse.
I don't think its so wrong if he did it once, I have done that b4 to an ex, i cheated once and never again..so once a cheater always a cheater isn't always true..See how it goes and if he does it again do what you think is best which is having your options open, date a bit till you know that the next guy is ready to be monogamous.

Answer 7

If he has cheated on you before then I say forgive but don't forget. Maybe you are still insecure about you're last cheat situation. Only thing is, you have to put him on a leash this time and he must be trained. If it makes you feel any better, Gwen Stefani's husband used to be like that and now since she has controlled that , he has changed. But if you are noticing things then I am sorry but there is no other word of aadvice but dump his ***. Maybe you don't want to break up because you are too scared you won't love like that again but really you have to give other guys, sweeter guys a chance. If he hasn't shown that he is on the wire again then believe him, you promised him a second chanceso REALLY give it to him. if you see he screws up this one. Then he is out of the ballpark. I know you really don't want to leave him and it's sweet but think about how he is acting. You are sweet, you care so much for him, but is this how much he cares for you? Ifh e promises he has changed and really has then forgive him but don't forget since you promised him but if he still seems like that then dump him you can do better. Good luck :)!

P.S: I know alot of happy couples that he has she ton the girl and promised he wouldn't again and look he hasn't. Just notice the hints like distant, blah,blah, blah....you know them :) good luck again :)

Answer 8

I was with a guy who cheated and I loved him very much. He was a wonderful guy but sadly alcohol got involved and stuff happened with him and another girl. It was hard to forgive him, but I loved him to much not to try. If you really love him, I'm sad to say this but you will yell at him, tell him he is a jerk and simply move on. That is the best thing to do. Good luck and if he does it again move on. It's not worth the hurt twice.

Answer 9

He needs to earn your trust back, and it is up to both of you to figure out how to do that. But I can't blame you for not forgiving him easily. I forgave a man for cheating, and sure enough he did it again, happens to have a baby on the way next month too. He still to this day will not admit he did it, must be imaculate conception...

Answer 10

Quit hanging on to him it will only egg him on. Don't cling to a guy or he will take advantage of you. Be independent. He is probably at the age where the hormones are raging and all he thinks about is you know what. Don't fall for it. There are plenty of guys around that will treat you right. Try a guy that is good in school and has some direction. He will be your best bet for the future. Best wishes.