obsesive parent?

Question

my mom is always online looking at me and my sisters online stuff like aim and myspace. She reads absolutely everything and it is really annoying. we have no privacy. she also goes and looks at our friends stuff online too. we are far from being bad teens but we need our privacy. I have asked her to stop for a very long time but she just wont. we have to block all our stuff but she still finds a way in. everytime i ask her to stop she laughs and says "most parents dont even know how to work this stuff" and justs ignores the question. do you any of you have an idea on how to make her get out of our buisness?

um we are 16, and 18? not little kids and she is on all day all night.. even my dad says she shouldnt be on this much

and we have mutliple computers and i am on mine and she goes on mine and everyone elses

and my sister isnt even a minor and when she finds my mom on her stuff snooping she gets furious

and i have common sense she knows im really smart but she just doesnt get the picture. and im not asking you guys saying thats its ok that she looks if you were in this family you would totally understand. im asking you to tell me something i can do. and if i put password she will get mad... so i want to find a solution not let her know EVERYTHING that i know. and i counted over 30 screen names and you saying shes doing it for protection? and yes i counted over 30 through 2 comps

for aim everytime she just looks in our friends profiles and reads everything even if we havent talked to them in years..

and once again even my dad told her to stop and he says she needs a computer to straped to her so she wouldnt have to move. thats how much she is on it

Answer 1

best way to do this have profiles on XP for each of you with your own passwords then she can't access your online stuff

Answer 2

You need to sit down and talk about this with your mother. She is probably doing this for two reasons: First, she is worried about your safety. There are a lot of predators out there and if you don't think you could be a victim, then you are naive. So she is being a mom and protecting you from bad situations. 2nd, she is being just plain curious. You and her probably don't do much together or talk much, so she doesn't know a lot about you anymore. She wants to though, so she goes online to learn about you.

Now, the best way to deal with this is to sit down and bring these issues up with your mom. Explain that you want privacy but also ask her what her concerns are and agree that you will work on making sure you adhere to those standards, etc. If you two can work something out, you can gain her trust and respect. She also has to learn how to trust you too. If you are too worried about talking with your mom, then you should have your school counseler be a mediator or go to a therapist.

Answer 3

You should be happy that your mom cares enough to check up on you! So many crazy things are going on in the world.
If you have been distant/hiding things from your mother, maybe you should sit down and talk to her and let her know that you are in the right frame of mind.
Having a parent that cares today is a hard find. Not to mention all the loonies in the world that are out to hurt kids and even adults.
I think you should explain to your mom how you feel about her "snooping" and start being open and honest with her.
I am a mother and my mother still checks up on me, it's in our nature.

Answer 4

Get a job and pay for your own life.

Then you have earned the right to privacy. I know it sucks, my mom did the same thing to me. Ruled my life until I moved out at 18. I have been supporting myself since and now I own my own 3 computers, and my own cable connection, and my own xbox, and do whatever the heck I want. I'll be damned though if when I have kids they tell me I can't check out what they are doing on MY computer that I paid for! :-)

I know it sucks though, I was there too 10 years ago. At least you don't have to work 40 + hours a week just to have it all go to bills and crap.

Answer 5

Sorry but if you are under the age of 18, she has every right to do this.

Twenty years from now you will be glad she cared instead of letting you do what ever you pleased.

There are so many incidents of young adults meeting people who lie about their age online. She is protecting you, like any good mother would. Look at the animals in the jungle -- they do the very same thing!

Answer 6

ur mom has a right to be loooking at ur aim and myspace- do u know howww many people wish they had their moms check their stuff before they started talking to fat psychos and got rapped??? still, if shes becoming obsessive about it, then let her know how u feel... tell her u feel uncomftorable with her doing all of this, then explain to her how u know the difference between right and wrong and get her to trust u. also, set aside a special time every couple of days where u can take her through the main highlights of what u do, and show her that ur handliing everything well.

Answer 7

If you put it out online for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE, you have no right to call that privacy. That's like putting up a picture of yourself naked on a billboard on the side of the highway, and then asking your mom not to look at it on the way to work. The world is full of wack jobs, dude. Trust me. ( I have been stalked and harrassed, and had my identity stolen). And men target guys your age too. Don't think they won't. Your mom needs to know what's going on in her house on her computer. If you are doing something irresponsible, wrong, or just stupid, she needs to know. And I bet she'll tip off other parents if their kids are doing something wrong, too. It's her job to keep you and your sisters safe, alive, and intact until you are out from under her roof. And if you're doing something that she can be held liable for, like you bullying someone else, or doing something that gets you expelled from school--which has happened repeatedly in Colorado in the past year-- she needs to know. When you're safe, out on your own, and are successful in life, you'll be glad your mom had your back. There are lots of parents wishing right now that they had been just a bit more on top of things, and hopefully your mom won't be one of them

Answer 8

As a parent myself, I am very concerned about my son's safety. I trust my son, as I am sure your mom trusts you, its the psychos that prey on teens and children on line that we are worried about. Be thankful your mom loves you so much to watch out for you. I know it can be a pain and makes you feel invaded, but I also teach high school and more parents need to watch their kids, I have seen some of the stuff on my space, bebo, etc and it scares me that my son might stumble into some of these web pages.

Answer 9

well try telling her all of that. Otherwise just try to remember that even though you don't see it now she's just trying her best to protect you. Tell her that your good kids that have never done anything wrong and that you know how to be responsible online. Show her that your responsible not only online but in general too. And change your passwords. Good Luck

Answer 10

It was a rule in my home that I had all passwords, and had access to everything my sons did online. It was for their protection. When you are an adult and have your own place, you can do what you like, but until then, thank goodness that your MOM loves you enough to check on you.

Answer 11

to the other people above me: shut up. I hate people like you. You're right you should have your own privacy. People have serious issues with trust these days. Look at the news? If this guy has any common sense he won't get raped by some old guy, ok?