Why is it so hard to forgive people it seems like it takes a concious effort?

Answer 1

Forgiveness is not an action- it's a process.

Answer 2

Forgiveness is a process that has two ideas to consider, not just one.

If you feel that someone has done something that requires forgiveness, then you feel wronged someway by this person. We often believe that when we forgive someone we are allowing them to get away with something. If you are still angry at someone, then forgiving them is close to impossible.

Forgiveness however is a personal process that does not involve anyone else. Here is where the conscious effort comes into play. In your own heart it is important to discover how much harm the anger is doing to you. It is eating you up inside. Take the time to let go of the anger. Pray, meditate, take a walk or talk to a friend or counselor.

It takes a big heart to let go of anger and forgive. You need to bring up some of your own self esteem and belief in yourself to get to that point.

I hope you realize the importance of moving through anger to a place of forgiveness, despite the effort it may take. The longer you stay angry, the longer you are letting the person you are angry at have power over you and your life.

Remember forgiving is not forgetting. It is possible to forgive someone and still hold them accountable for what they did. If you come from a strong place low in your body and not a high pitched whine or hysteria, it is much easier to be understood and taken seriuosly.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Throughout your life there are two rules that apply to most everything in it. #1 You will head in the direction that you are looking and #2 You will get good at what you practice. If you wish to change your life you need to change where you look and change what you practice. If you do not have something different to change to, you will fall back into old directions and practice's. The hardest person you will ever have to forgive is yourself. You and you alone are responsible for the decisions you make. When you make a decision to forgive you are changing your direction. Like anything in life, an object in motion tends to continue in the direction it is headed. Changing the direction of your heart takes an effort...You must learn to forgive everybody, everywhere, every when and to do so unconditionally and forgive yourself unconditionally as well. When your forgiveness includes yourself and everyone else...then it will be successful and not require effort...Forgive all or none...I choose to forgive all...Peace and Love...Joe

Answer 4

Its human nature, because sometimes we have a hard time forgetting, so we let the forgiving part slide, even though deep down you know its the right thing to do. Do what God would do, and just forgive, you'll feel better for it.

Answer 5

It does take a conscious effort, and it's sometimes a very hard thing to do. It goes against our natural inclinations, and anything that does that is always going to be hard. But all the same, it's no less necessary just because it's difficult.

Answer 6

sometimes it is the anger that keeps people from forgiving, you have to get rid of the feelings of anger, frustration, betrayal before you can forgive.

Answer 7

How odd. I'm an atheist and have no trouble at all forgiving people.

-SD-

Answer 8

depends on your personal character. At some point in your life, you will realize that most of the things you hold on to are not worth the pain you hold on to

Answer 9

Instinct, probaly. You know how we have taste adversions to foods that made us sick? Maybe we have they same reaction to people that hurt us, as to not get hurt again.