How can I become less hateful and negative?

Question

I have had a rough few years. Events have turned me into a negative and hateful person. I never used to be this way...How can I overcome this and get my life back?

Answer 1

I REALLY suggest you see a counsellor. And do some 'self expression' and 'cognitive thinking', when your counsellor is with you, for safety.

AND: **Life is full of ups and downs. And hey pad yourself, you 'have hand' some rough years, that mean you pass them, you made it thru. Also, it's 'have had', it's pass tense, it's history, so tell youself, it's 2006 June 22.**

I understands how you feel, because some here. I been thru more than 10 years of rough time. Even now I still have to practice telling myself ** **.

Answer 2

I've been workin on this issue with my ex for several years now and nothing I've tried has worked on him, but here it goes.

First of all, you need to recognize and understand that we are all just people trying to survive on this planet. Yeah, there are some really nasty people out there who contribute nothing positive to society, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that.

Second, be grateful and don't take the things you have for granted. I'm not sure what your social status is, but I guarantee that somewhere out there someone else has a much harder life than you. Consider yourself lucky whenever possible and thank your lucky stars that you are not a starving kid in Africa or a woman who gets beaten by her husband every night because she hasn't the self-esteem to stand up for herself and leave him.

Third, when you find yourself getting frustrated and turning into Super Witch, take a step back and look in the perverbial mirror. Why are you getting so uptight? Is it really that big of a deal? Is there any good reason to be so negative and hateful at the moment?

When I was going through some crazy messed up things I got into the "I hate the world, people suck" mood a lot. I saw how I was acting and didn't like it and decided I didn't want to be that way anymore because it wasn't really who I am. So congratultions! You've all ready done one thing to improve your attitude. Knowing you are not being yourself is really the first step.

Another thing that helped me was laughing at all the things that made me mad. Instead of getting all crazy and furious I would just laugh. For instance: I've had some TERRIBLE bosses - and I mean terrible, but what was I supposed to do except quit my job? I didn't want to do that just yet so whenever my boss did or said something I didn't like, I'd just laugh and think to myself "he is going to run this place into the ground, and thankfully, I won't be here when it happens".

And also, life really is amazing and beautiful. It sucks sometimes and bad things will always happen on occasion and there's nothing you can do about it, but it is how you deal with the bad stuff that is totally under your control. You have a choice and you should choose to handle it beautifully with grace and compassion and a lot of other nice adjectives I can't think of right now.

Know that good things will always happen to you if you have faith that they will. I'm not saying you have to believe in god or go to church - you just need to have faith that the world doesn't suck all the time and know that in between all the crappy stuff that happens to you there will be periods of happiness and good times.

I promise. It's true. :) I got my life back and I know you can too! Just don't give up and always keep hope alive.

Good luck, honey!

Answer 3

It really all depends on what you mean by hateful and negative. I'll try to answer this the best I can.

I found that considering a situation from another persons perspective helps me considerably. (this works in all situations, political, friendships, relationship, etc) For example, if a friend and I were in a fight about something, I would look at the situation from her point of view and tried to see why she was thinking the way she did. It's easy for us to automatically believe that we are right, and its hard for us to admit when we are wrong. to really understand the other side of the story helps us to understand our own

Answer 4

I know what you are going thru and been there. I had a friend give me a video she got from www.thesecret.tv and it changed me. It costs $31.00 and it lasts an hour to watch it. The first thing to do is stop verbally repeating anything negative cause it plays into your subconscience that you want it again. I watch this every other night instead of tv.

Answer 5

I can only tell you my experience. I'm a very positive person, however, my husband was not. He changed once he quit drinking and I made him watch ALOT of comedy central and comedy dvd's (carlos mencia, larry the cable guy - you get the idea) now he doesn't sweat the small stuff.

I'm sure it has more to do with not drinking than the comedy, but laughing makes you happy. It's worth a try isn't it!

"Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff" lol!

Good luck to you my dear!

Answer 6

Sounds like you have been conditioned to be this way. Maybe you are hanging around people or maybe someone in your family is holding you down. I understand you because I am the same way. Unhappiness will manifest itself with attitude, anger and negativity. Figuring out who or what your problem is ..is the first step....I am making changes to my life to better myself so I will not be such a meanie all the time...good luck

Answer 7

Do your best to remain positive even when it seems hard. There are probably gonna be times when it is practically subconscious but you can learn from it. Just do your best to look on the bright side. What I think may help is just talking it all out to somebody and probably getting everything out of your system could do the trick.

Answer 8

I've dealt with the same issue and have found that making other people happy helps you to become happy yourself. So do good deeds, help people who need it, try to make others feel better about themselves, etc. When you find that others can appreciate you, you'll start to feel better about your own situation in life.

Answer 9

You should follow swami Ramdev's Pranayam (Kapalbhati and Anulom-Vilom) and yoga.For more information pl go thro' web site < http://www.divyayoga.com>.I am sure you will get 100% benefits from this within a months period.Only you have to follow rigorously the methods.

Answer 10

You may want to say nice things to people, and try to stop hating things and looking for the negative side of things.