Ok here is the deal. my sister and i were raised in foster care. we were separated at ages 12 and 13, she took a diffrent path in life than me she chose drugs prostituion and abusive relationships, while i opted to stay in school, no drugs and am doing very well for myself. here is the problem, i love my sister, even though i hate her life style, but just recently i recieved a devestating call from her saying that my 5 month old nephew had died. now i was the one who cut his cord iwas there through labor and delivery, her boyfriend was at the house trying to sleep with my other sister, ( a whole other story) her boyfriend beats her and my other nephew and i hate him. well come to find out there were some indications that the babys death was NOT an accident, so after her other son was removed and he was put under investigation, she is still with him!!! How can i remain supportive to her when i know he had something to do with my nephews death, and she acts so figgen clueless!!!
2006-06-21 14:26:10 · 14 answers · asked by austinandjomasmama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can love her without agreeing with her lifestyle. You need to be honest with her and let her know that you want to see her do well for her and her child - but that she needs to realize this guy she's with is no good. If she is tied in with drugs and alcohol - and her bf is too, you can bet it's going to be hard for her to leave.
Just be honest with her and tell her how upset you are about your nephew's death and how much you don't understand her staying with this lowlife bf. If you are giving her any money - stop. You can call her and love her - let her know you're there for her - but you don't need to act like everything is peachy - you owe it to her to be honest.
2006-06-21 14:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
She's clueless because of the path she took. She does not know any better. He is probably supporting her drug habit and that is a hard thing to break. Not really knowing how your nephew died can be very hard on all of you. No one knows the truth yet and until that happens she will probably stay with him. You are her sister, through thick and thin. Unfortunately she can't see what a p*^#k he really is. So you need to not turn your back on her because when the truth comes out she will fall hard and she will need you to hold her up. Remember your nephew is a little angel now and maybe in some way he will help. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-06-21 21:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because she feels that's all she has. he is the only one who will understand her but the truth of the matter is he is using her for whatever reason he has. he likes hitting, hurting, killing people because he is sick. so don't be ther for her anymore. you can't run to her beck an call every time something goes wrong with her or her family. my aunt was the same why and we all disowned her but she still is with the same man who got her kids taken away. grant you he did change for the better but who would want to wait to see if they will make it thought this or not. just be honest with her and tell her that you can no longer stress, deal, or forgive her for her mistakes because they are no longer mistakes. there are no excuses on why she still is with this man exspecially if he had some part in the death of her son. you wil drive yourself crazy if you continue to help her be there for the nephews and that's it. she will learn one day and when she does you take her back with open arms. tell her that your lifes have been the same. good luck because i know how hard it is to love someone so much and then have them **** on you and the family. best of luck and please let us know what happened to that asshole. sorry to hear that your life has been filled with misery and dissappointment. you picked the right path to life and just love yourself and life as much as you can.
2006-06-22 10:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by lover143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people create their own trials and this one does not need to be yours. Do not belittle her because she is going through something obviously and right now she is choosing this path. Sometimes turning your back (but not really) is the best way to handle and have a healthy somewhat sense of what needs to remain in you. It appears right now that she does not need your help and it seems from your answer that she is still out there doing what she is, and you cannot rescue everyone. Sometimes a person needs to rescue themselves.
2006-06-21 21:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by proud of it 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very fragile situation..i believe ur sister needs professional help, however, she needs to realise and admit that she needs such help before she can get it. u have to stay supportive of her and give her all the love u can. try to tell her positive things and make her realise that she can make something of herself. if she says negative things about herself tell her that her reality is what she makes it so if she continues thinking negative then neagative her life will be. she needs people around her who are positive, who shows love and have respect for her regardless of what is happening in her life....DON'T GIVE UP ON HER, KEEP TRYING.
2006-06-21 21:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by jossie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will pray that she listens to you and seeks a way out. It is NEVER too late to change ones life and to right some bad choices. I KNOW this. She must find counseling and realize she is NOT a punching bag and that he is the asshole.
2006-06-21 21:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by Brainiac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, talk to her once again. Let her know that this is a serious matter. If she still doesn't cooperate I think you should help in the investigation. Tell the police what you know and suspect.
2006-06-21 21:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by Lasey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put things clear to her and try to talk to her about her husband. I would tell her that I will be supportive to her but that I disagree with her staying with him. While being supportive of her, try to always keep away from talking about him, it works best. You don't get upset about their relationship and she won't get mad at you for disagreeing with her husband. I hope this helps :)
2006-06-21 21:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by Chris M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really did have something to do with the death of the boy and she is still with him...then I do not think you should be supportive to her. If she knows he is responsible then she is also guilty.
2006-06-21 21:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by my two cents 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gather all the proof and tell her the truth Take her away from that sh*t And start her life over.Ifeel sorry for you but she will thank you.
2006-06-21 21:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by mommys_cute_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋