i have a very hard time trying to trust my girlfriend because i feel like she's a lways giving me reasons to doubt her i dont know if her going out with her guy friends and going out of town once in a while would be a reason, but i feel that if she goes out of town she can call me and let me know what she's doing but she doesnt she acts very distant and like she wants me to get mad at her so she can go do her thing, when she comes back into town she starts being nice and tries toget on my good side, i dont know if those are the reasons for me to mistrust her, i dont go out to dinner or watch movies with girls becasue i dont want my girl to start doubting me, she told me she want to have a realtionship where we both trust each other but i just cant seem to do that because she dont give me a chance i tell her how i feel and it turns into a fight, i love her and i trust her to an extent but she goes farther i want to break it off and be friends but she dont want to
2006-06-21 13:55:59 · 26 answers · asked by mitsu422bishi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To answer your first question, I say trust in a long distance relationship. A good deal of understanding and acceptance comes with trust, and these things are necessary in any relationship ... especially a long distance one. My wife and I, in the early stages of our relationship (before marriage and for about a year plus after), were in a long distance relationship, and we are still married. There have been some bumps along the way, but we are still making it work to this day.
As for the second part ... is it possible that she is trying to make you jealous? Sometimes, people like to do this because to them, it shows that you care. If you don't get jealous, then they think that if there is no reaction, then you simply do not care. The fact that you are giving her a reaction each time may be exactly what she is looking for.
With regard to you telling her how you feel, and it turns into a fight ... what are your feelings based on? Intuition? Truth? Fact? Sometimes, feelings can be an extension of paranoia ... they attempt to protect you from getting hurt, but they can actually lead down a road that will get you hurt as well. Perhaps you should examine your feelings first, and test them for validity ... compare them against the relevant facts. This will help to determine whether these feelings are leading you down the wrong path (they don't coincide with facts), or that they are trying to protect you (they do coincide with facts). Sounds simple, but it really isn't as simple or easy as it sounds. You must be relatively objective, impartial, and fair to both the feelings and the facts. This could be done before you tell her how you feel. Sometimes, it can help to avoid fights.
If you want to break it off and be friends, she should respect that, and you should too. It's not much of a relationship if only one person wants to be in the relationship. You say that you Love her and trust her to an extent. To trust her "to an extent" isn't really trusting her, is it?
When my wife and I were in a long distance relationship, I would generally call on Sunday afternoon and talk to her, and we would write letters to one another. We really didn't call each other alot, or say much about what we were doing, except in the letters, and I believe it was all on the up and up ... I believed that she was faithful to me, as I was to her. Trust was there, and I decided to trust.
Hope this helps you. Good luck in your relationship.
2006-06-26 23:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Earl G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard I live the same situation, but my boyfriend is understanding an we talk about even though it is annoying to him. I guess. Is important to be able to tell the person tHAT IS YOUR BF/GF this things ,and you don't have to feel embarassed when you ask questions that show how insecure you are feeling or how hurt you get. Talk from your heart. No anger. Make your time with her especial when you guys are together so that she values what you offer, and misses you and wants to see you soon. It is hard but the other thing is just let her go, do you really want that? And very inportant you hang out with your friends, enjoy your life too so next time you can share with her how much fun you had. It will make her realize that you are hot and people likes you even y you remain faithful you still can have fun. Be happy.
2006-06-21 21:24:57 · answer #2 · answered by love@CA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not trust a long distance relationship. You never know what would happen with your girlfriend. You two would lose trust with each other because you may suspect that the other is cheating. But if you really care about her, you may stay with her. Just communicate as much as possible and update each other what is going on. Best of Luck!!! :)
2006-06-21 21:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. Follow your heart. Ask her what kind of future she envisions for us a couple? And you'll be able to perceive her current activities, as well as her standing commitment in the relationship. DON'T let her turn the question back to you. She should answer you first. Say good bye, maybe she will seek you out, if not, then God has somebody better for you. Loyalty and Love are very, very important.
2006-06-21 21:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by watersprings 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem only i was deployed and i couldn't do any thing about it.i was stress'in hard so when i came home on leave we talked and found that things weren't the same as i left.days later we broke up.well before(deployment) i feared that he would find someone else and sure enuff it happened.i learned that communication is a HUGE part in a relationship and so is trust.about a few weeks went back over seas .he wanted to make up but i wasn't a dreamer.i didn't trust him anymore and i knew it wouldn't work. my advice to you is talk to ur honey and find out what she wants in the relationship.
2006-06-21 21:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by ratio_37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a long distance relationship at least nobody gets pregnant or catches diseases. Maybe also, it allows both people to imagine really really nice things about each other and the relationship. Reality doesn't nescesarily even have to be there messing it up the way reality usually does.
2006-06-21 21:00:33 · answer #6 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no trust from what I am hearing so move on to a better and healthier relationship. There has to be trust in order to have true love.
2006-06-21 20:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, i dont think shes happy with you and before you go out and get hurt i suggest that you get out. Women who go out with "guy friends" obviously have no respect for their boyfriends. You have every right to doubt her. Let me tell you from expirience that theres nothing good going on behind your back.
2006-06-21 21:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Momo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance relationships never work out because you never now what you bf or gf is doing someone besides you and you can't always trust them to tell the truth cause they may tell you one thing but the truth could be another
2006-06-21 21:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by blank_grl_13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationship = impossible, when you both have different ideas of what is acceptable. You don't need to be sitting around wondering where she is, and whom she's with. Break it off - you'll both get over it soon.
2006-06-21 21:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by stringfellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋