I hate everything about myself?

Question

I hate everything about myself. I'm 24 and I've never been happy with myself. I'm overweight and ugly, I've got spots and I've got a problem with my horones so I've got facial hair as well. I just feel so disgusting all the time.

I don't have many close girlfriends, and I've never had a proper boyfriend. I'm still a virgin because no guys ever fancy me. I'm never happy with anything I do, I did alright at school and went to university, but I just feel like a failure all the time. My younger sister is slim and pretty and outgoing and everyone loves her, she's had proper boyfriends for years.

What can I do to feel better about myself? I honestly hate everything about myself. I've been self harming for the past 6 months because I hate myself so much, but I don't want anyone to find out, but I can't seem to stop doing it. What do I do?

Answer 1

It sounds like you might be suffering from depression, I had similar feelings of self hatred when my depression was bad. I self harmed as well. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and have been on antidepressants now for the past 18 months and things are a lot better. But you need to admit that you can't handle this alone and get some proper professional help. Go and speak to your GP, explain how you feel and hopefully he should be able to sort out some help for you. Take care and stay safe.

Answer 2

Hi Alicia,
Hope you're feeling better today... I recognised a lot of things when I read your piece. I experienced a similar thing when I started university... It was a big shock to the system for me... I had been prone to depression all the way through school- hated myself, my body, my situation etc. I began to self harm when I was 13. At that time it was only now and again, but it got progressively worse throughout university.
There, I had a great boyfriend for 3 years- my first proper boyfriend but things just kept getting worse. I was convinced that he'd fall in love with someone else or wouldn't find me attractive anymore- the usual stuff I guess... So, in addition to cutting, I stopped eating... these actions didn't / haven't solved anything.
Self-harm is a great short term 'cure'- I think you'll know what I mean- at the time, you feel empowered and have regained control over everything. But then you begin to feel horrible and you're faced with the prospect of having to hide scars etc. and the whole thing starts over again.
First things first- you'll have to try to stop comparing yourself with others and thinking that you're a failure. Once you can genuinely stop this you can start getting on with things... I know the thought probably doesn't appeal to you but go out and treat yourself- buy some new clothes, ones that look really well on YOU, and ones that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid of the bright summer colours! So what if you've got spots, everyone gets them and most people don't take any notice... There's a really good make up that my friend uses called Benefit- not cheap but great coverage... If you're not into make up, keep drinking loads of water and cut down on sugary things. When you start feeling a bit more confident you'll be amazed with the results.
You're very lucky to have a sister. Instead of feeling jealousy towards her, how's about trying to chat to her. I'm sure she has things that she's dying to get advise from her older sis about.
Finally, I guess I have to say that it's a long process to get out of the downward spiral but it's worth it... Don't let the self harm go on too long because, just like smoking, it's highly addictive. I still haven't kicked it. You're an intelligent woman with a full life ahead of you- great things can happen. Self-harm only draws you deeper into yourself and further from progress...I hope you can get something from my ramblings...
Take care hon.

Answer 3

Guess what? MOST 17 year old girls and some boys hate almost everything about them selves. You're not a child any longer, but not fully an adult. You have not lived long enough to know what your talents will turn out to be; that's why life is a journey. We travel the road to find where we are in the scheme of things. You cannot possibly know at 17. (At seventeen I thought I wanted to be a nun; I stumbled over a few things before finding the creative field, but I had to trip and fall now and then.) You are way too hard on yourself. Relax and give yourself a break, sweetie. You need to confide in someone you trust that you'd appreciate some advice on fashion and make-up. This could be an older relative or a friend you know to be kind. Trust me: Your life will make sense as you live it. You are not selfish and whiny - your complaints are normal for a girl your age, so stop beating yourself up. The most important thing you can do is to realize that there are people who feel as you do about themselves. When you sense you are around that person, give them an honest compliment. You may just make their day brighter. It will make yours brighter, too. You just may turn out to be the next Marilyn Monroe - who hated the way she looked at 17! God bless you. You are a child of God, and are perfect just as you are.

Answer 4

Do stuff that you love, with people that you love. You don't need to have many friends; it's the ones that you have that count. Go to the museums, cinemas, theatres... go out and about. Be happy!!!

Treat yourself to a beauty treatment / spa on your birthday. Go with a friend if you're not comfortable going alone. Once is all you need. Then when you know how to care for your skin, hair and body, invest in some home spa products and pamper yourself on weekends.

Gradually, start doing some exercises so that you'll gain more self-confidence. Discover what your body is capable of doing; be it strength, power, flexibility or balance. You don't have to go to a gym to workout or a park to jog, just turn on the music and dance yourself crazy at home!!!

Just tell yourself that guys may not fancy you because you're too self-conscious which leads to a "sad" look. If you brighten up, smile and have fun, people (guys AND gals) will be attracted to you.

Answer 5

Well I completely understand what you are going through.

The kind of chages you want to make are complete life changes so instead of self harming start self helping:

1. Get the weight off. Join jenny craig or ANY weight loss place that can set you up with a diet and excersice routine AND monitor your progress and health. Being overweight causes so many problems including stuff with your glands. Spare no expense here.

2. Once you slim down and start toning up you will feel amazing...SO next thing you want to do is start looking pretty. Get a make over, get a tan, get some new clothes, go shoe shopping!! yay!

3. Time to get the things you want. Go pick up a guy if you haven't already found one. Go to the bars, cafes, grocery store or whatever....you can even online date...thats always and adventure.


You have to be happy with yourself before someone else will be.

Answer 6

Okay, Let's start with the way you feel: I suggest to get a medical physical, if you don't have high blood pressure go on some diet pills (tenuate is great and you can get it on-line) second have your doctor give you some medication for your hormonal problem and go to the dermatologist and have them prescribe you a cream that reduces facial hair!!!! it really works... while you are turning your cocoon in to the most beautiful butterfly make an appointment with a psychiatrist so he can evaluate your mental status to see if you are depressed and would benefit from some type of anti-depressant medication. Please,don't let all the magazine covers fool you they are all air brushed and they take millions of pictures so you can see that glossy cover! We all feel ugly at one time or another but there is help out there and don't be afraid to ask for medical help! It will take a little time for the process to take place but YOU need to work on making YOU look better so you can feel better!!!!

Some insurance pay for diet programs and they all pay for a dermatologist and psychiatrist and nutritionist. Get the help you need and we here at Yahoo or at least ME are cheering for you....We are on your team.......Smile

Answer 7

Imagine how miserable you'd feel living in somewhere like Bosnia or Croatia, where ethnic cleansing by evil men with guns had killed your sister, parents, all the people you cared about. Do you have terminal cancer? No? Are you in a wheelchair, after a terrible accident? No?
Are you homeless? Did the crops fail, and now are you starving to death? Did you stand on a landmine, planted in your country's civil war?
Things could be worse.
You are overweight. We tend to be in the Western world, or all feel that we are. I'm on something called a 'diet' right now, and have got back to some weights and running. See your doctor about your hormones. Are you not happy for your sister? Or do you want to project your insecurities onto her?

Take life by the balls, and start living and stop moping and feeling sorry for yourself.

Peace!

Answer 8

Hi,
I'm also 24 and overweight and on bad days consider myself ugly. As far as your spots go no amount of special cleansers will get rid of them if it's linked to your hormones in fact some may aggravate them. Find a good cleanser and use it but also start wear a good foundation and powder, maybe a little bit of blusher etc, it will give you a boost. I also get spots so I put on make up and it helps. What is your hair like? I wash and straighten or curl my hair every day, you have to make the best of what you've got. As for not having a boyfriend I bet people do like you, you just don't have enough confidence to realise it. what country do you live in? I'm in UK. Email me [e-mail] if you like I'd be more than happy to talk to you.

Answer 9

build up your self confidence
go to some sort of doctor or phyciatrist
do something nice for yourself like get a new hairstyle, you could go to a dermatoligist and ask about facial hair (im not really sure if you'd ask there but you could try), find out ways to get rid of your facial hair, start going to the gym and get a personal trainer, have your sister teach you how to do make up, be friends with your sister, paint your nails-or better yet get them done professionally, see a doctor about the hormone problem, dont hurt yourself it will only make it worse, take up a new hobby, join a club and make new friends, see a doctor about the spots (not sure what you mean), take a vacation, and cheer up!
im sure things could be a lot worse.
maybe my advice will help, and if it doesnt hopefully someone elses will
i hope you are able to feel better about yourself
good luck!
:)

Answer 10

Many of us feel like this at times. And I can certainly understand where you're coming from. But you must realize that we limit ourselves by allowing negative thoughts to take over our mind.
God created you to be a unique person. Just because you view yourself as being unattractive to others, doesn't mean that you are. Comparing yourself to others is a sure way to make you feel unworthy, and unloved. We all have our personal strengths and weaknesses. But you must learn to overcome any negativity that will hold you back in life. You have to see yourself in a positive light. My suggestion to you is that you begin to focus on your positive attributes. If you think you're overweight, get help. Visit a family doctor, and have a talk with him about your weight, as well as your other physical problems. Sulking about it will never help you. Dare to dream. You can do anything, and be anything
you put your mind to. The only person holding yourself back is you. Take care.