i'm a chirstain and????

Question

i love the lord with all my heart...but i have two children that are so bad.that at times i wonder where i went wrong..could someone tell me what i can do to make things right??please no smart remarks..these are my kids that i love..

thank you for your answers.to the ones that aren't being smart..thank you and may god bless you all

Answer 1

A child will only do as much or as little as their parents allow them to do. Your children act the way they do because you allow them to.

Show them you are their parent they are not in charge.
You know all the things you told yourself your parents did and you would never do them well it is time to become your parents.

I know you love your kids but unless you get them in line you will be hurting them not loving them

Answer 2

I, personally, am a firm believer in spanking. Does the Bible not say "spare the rod, spoil the child"? I also know that spanking does not always work so you may have to try other techniques.

I don't know how you discipline your kids now but the only advice I can truly give you is when you do discipline them.........MEAN IT. If you tell your children to stop doing something and you tell them what their punishment will be if they do not mind you, like take away their favorite toy or something, follow through with the punishment, and take away the toy if they do not listen. Make it clear to them that when they do not mind you they are being extremely disrespectful to you and others their behavior may be affecting. Once they know you mean business, they will begin to respect you more and listen. If you give them their ultimatum and they actually do listen you will reciprocate their gesture to respect you by being respectful to them. Let them know that you appreciate them listening to you and respecting your wishes. If you don't claim your child's respect now while they are still young, you may never get it and that could lead to much bigger issues down the road when they are older.

I am not a parent myself so I know you may be thinking I just read this in a book or something, but I do have first hand experience. I have nephews and friends with children and they know when they come to my house or that when I am around, I mean business and they rarely challenge my authority. Some of these children are absolutely horrible when they are with their parents but when they come to my house, they are a totally different kid. Try this technique and commit to it for a few weeks and see what a difference it can make. It will be hard at first, but it will get easier. I promise!

Answer 3

This is an example of how people are born into their sinful nature.

But anyway, I remember our pastor did a lesson over this recently, he said that we are to use discipline as necessary.

Proverbs 13:24 - "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."

Proverbs 29:15 - "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."

There are several types of parents:
1) The Counting Parent - "Go to your room before I count to 3! One... two... two and a quarter... two and a half... two and 3/5..."

This method is not recommended because it teaches your kid disobedience. When you give your kid breathing room to be disobedient, it teaches him that he can get away with being uppity with you. The thing about being a parent is that you should expect immediate obedience, because what if you're outside with your kid and your kid walks out onto the street and a car approaches him? If you yell at him to get back, will he disobey you until it's too late, or will he immediately obey and do what you say?

2) The Parent that's there but not really there - You want to watch your kid. You want to provide guidance and discipline your kid in a timely manner. This kind of parent is the kind of parent that simply leaves his/her kid to do whatever the kid wants.

3) The "Buddy" Parent - This kind of parent does not make his/her kid recognize him/her as an authority figure but rather as a "friend." The problem with this approach is that it also teaches disobedience to the kid; if the parent has to say "please" you've got a problem. You put the kid in a dominant position.

Also, one of the biggest things you should do when disciplining your kid is telling your kid WHY you are disciplining him/her. If you don't explain that God sets the rules, your kid may come back and insist on marrying a person of the same gender as your kid, and when you tell him he can't, he may respond, "But why should I not?" How can you tell him not to unless there is someone that sets absolutes - God?

Answer 4

Love and quality time -- Personal experience: My father wasn't there as I grew up and my mother wasn't there for me emotionally so now our relationship is strained. Be there for your children. A lot of times when children act out, it's because they want attention.

Disipline and boundaries. It's not too late to start (Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 23:13,14 not abuse, but correction). Be consistent. If you say you're going to punish them if they misbehave then do it. Don't go soft. They'll respect you more for consistency and keeping your word then if you try to be their friend and let them run all over you. Remember you're the parent!

God is our Father (1 Chronicles 29:10; Romans 8:14; 1 John 3:1) so I think it's appropriate to model your behavior to His. He gives us good gifts (Matthew 7:11), He loves us (Jeremiah 31:3; Rom 8:38,39), He chastens us (Deuteronomy 8:5; Proverbs 3:11; Hebrews 12:6,7), He wants to be with us (Exodus 25:8; Exodus 29:46; John 17:21), etc.

Answer 5

Not sure it really is you, kids do have a tendency to do their own thing. You need to show you love them and let them know what the boundaries are. God does the same with us, if you look at the way people are today and the sins that are out there. Well doesn't God forgive? He may not like the sin but he loves us. Be good to your children, spend time with them and be there when they need you. Last thing pray for patients.

Answer 6

You didn't "go wrong." Your children were born with a fallen nature and an evil heart. The best thing you can do is pray that the Lord reveals His righteousness to them and that they cry out for redemption through the blood of Jesus. Only the blood of Christ can restore your children's fallen condition. Teach them the 10 Commandments, for the Law is a schoolmaster, leading children to Christ that they may be justified through faith in His blood (see Galatians 3:24). When they break one of God's 10 commandments, discipline them, and explain to them WHY you are doing so. They should understand that when they lie, steal, use God's name in vain, and dishonor their parents, they are sinning against a holy Lord, who will one day judge the world in righteousness (according to the 10 Laws). He will punish those to eternal hell who die in their sin. Use discipline (spanking) as a demonstration of both your love and God's wrath against lawbreakers on Judgement Day.

Best wishes!

Answer 7

Seek out a pastor or reputable Christian family counselor. No one is perfect - parents and children. Let the Lord guide you through with an objective counselor.

And of course, pray. Pray for guidance and help on how to be a better parent and pray that your children care more about their actions.

You've already taken a wonderful step - recognizing a problem and wanting to improve it.

Answer 8

Well, I know that this is gonna sound harsh...and I dont' mean this as a smart remark...but...
The Lord does say that you should instruct your children in the way they should go, and when they are older they will not stray form it.

Now, I hope your children are still very young. If they are, don't worry about it, you have time to set things straight. If not, then pray about it. If you pray really hard, and pray w/out ceasing, I know the Lord will answer your prayer.

But in His time. Not ours.

Answer 9

The only thing you can do is pray without ceasing, and teach them the truth whether they want to listen or not. They may not want to hear it now, but someday they might. Love them unconditionally- display to them the same love that God has for them, because that's the only thing that will ever make them sit up and pay attention. . . and that might take years before it bears fruit. I've been in your shoes, and I can tell you truthfully that you aren't responsible for the choices your children make. They are individuals, with their own responsibility to God and their own freedom of choice. Out of love you may want to take the blame so they don't have to, but for their own sakes you can't do that. Bless you, and God be with you.

Answer 10

Talk to a counselor, cleric, or close friend. Ask for help. There are many people willing to help if they know you're looking.

Be prepared for the times when you expect chaos and remind yourself that no matter how excited they are, that you will remain calm.

Your children are in need of your attention. Try to give them as much as possible before they start "acting out."

Answer 11

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Having bad children might not be a punimshment from God to you, it just might be a test, to see if you are going to be patient and hang in there. I am not a Christian, but I believe in the same God. In our relegion, even some of the prophets had bad offsprings, and it was not their fault. So, just hang in there, try to do your best to teach them right from wrong, and be a good example untill they are on their own.