is it right to get pregnant now at age 43yr?

Question

im 43yr mom of 16yr daughter, married, in ohio.
i was told by my dr he TIED my tubes. didnt say anything about being burned just that he tied them.
I want another kid now. should I.?? my husband dont want any,
what about the risks of down syndrome?
would you?, I have no health insurance, no insurance of any kinds, just insurance for daughter. not me or my husband.

i thought it was stupid to even think about it. but wanted to ask anyway.
my husband says im stupid for thinking this now.
so, I wont.
thanks anyways.
stupid thinking.

Answer 1

It may not be the best thing, but it's not stupid. You have only one child it sounds like, and with her being 16, going off to college soon, you may be experiencing "empty nest" syndrome, even though it's not empty yet, the prospect is there. Also you could be going through Menopause, a lot of the hormone changes during Menopause, can be like those when pregnant. In fact if you do more research on Menopause you might find that a lot of women go through what you're feeling. Having children is way of saying to the world and yourself you're not getting older, you're still useful and viberant. You are in fact viberant the way you are, mature, useful in your life experience and you have the outlook on being able to spend more time on yourself, by yourself, doing what you like to do. If you don't know what you like to do because you've spent so many years being a wife, mother, house keeper, laundry mat, cook, event and financial planner, whew! then take a look around at some hobby stores, see if there's any classes you'd like to take, have a spa day. Get the idea? Relearn who you are as a mature women, with little parental responsiblity. Remember your daughter is probably looking for more freedom, of course within reason.

Answer 2

I think you know the answer but are not wanting to admit it, I am 34 I truly want another child, but I know the risks are too great I have 4 my oldest is my 16 yr old daughter and the youngest just turned 1. I had my tubes tied cut and burned I get depressd about it, but I know it is for the best. In all honesty it would not be fair to your daughter or the child you would be 62 when it would graduate high school, I am not sure if you remember how much work it was chasing you daughter as a toddler but she will be graduated and away in college when the baby is a toddler and your husband does not want to help. I know this is harsh, but you will be grandma before you know it (not too soon though I hope) enjoy your husband and when your grandbabies come spoil the crap out of them!!! remember they go back to mom

Answer 3

I am 22 years old, my mom is 39 years old. I am an only child. I am now 34 weeks pregnant.....and my mom is 32 weeks pregnant. She is not having any major complications, and the baby is doing well. I would not chance getting pregnant with no health insurance, I have to be seen by my OB every two weeks, for the past two months, and before that it was every month, after my next visit it will be every week. Each visit is at least $70. And that adds up very fast when you're having to buy baby stuff as well. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

If your husband isn't on board, than for the baby's sake, don't have any more kids. He won't help you. I'm 27, with three kids, and I can barely stand up because I'm so exhausted. What if you get a fussy, colicky baby, and your husband won't help you? He will start to resent the baby, the time it takes away from you, and the money it costs. It costs a lot of money for labor, delivery, pre-natal checkups, etc. I know my daughter went to the doctor more than thirty times her first year of life, and she was the healty one. Most visits are about one hundred dollars. If I was you, I'd enjoy my daughter. Maybe volunteer to help in a church nursery or hospital baby ward. Open up a daycare in your home, or go work in one. Maybe that would satisfy your baby instincts.

Answer 5

I think that if you want to get pregnant at 43 that is fine. I am concerned about the obstacles in your way. Your chances of becoming pregnant on your own are slim considering your age and that your tubes are tied.
I think your first step would be to consult with your OBGYN, then you would probably need to obtain medical insurance and look into assisted reproduction.
With your tubes tied you could do IVF. This is costly though and you may have to look into using donor eggs if the quality of your eggs is comprimised.
Good Luck,
Elaine

Answer 6

How do you expect to pay for your doctor visits if you have no insurance? Having your tubes untied, plus all of the usual pregnancy doctor visits, hospital costs, not mention any unforeseen medical problem that could occur since you would be considered an at risk pregnancy??! Of course your husband would probably divorce you since he doesn't want any more children. Hmmm....something to think about, eh?

Answer 7

Sounds expensive and risky. Look up the tests and risks on line. Consider Foster care. This seems to work for the right mother. You can have more kids around and get money and help from the State.

Answer 8

no dont say that !!! you are NOT stupid for asking this question !!!wanting a baby can be a VERY strong feeling doesnt matter how old you are....if you really want to try for another one then go for it the only wall there is your age BUT these days there are sooooo many things doctors can detect in early pregnancy so its just really up to you and what are you willing to go through... my mother had a baby at 45 and my sis came out PERFECT i hope everything goes well for you god bless and GOODLUCK

Answer 9

if you want to then go for it
more and more people are having kids later in life...
it is becoming quite common

the risk of downsyndrome is higher because of your age, but there is still a good chance the bubs will be healthy.

i would talk to your hubby about it tho and make him see that you really want another bubs... but i say go for it.

Answer 10

Maybe you could adopt a child..That way you dont really have to worry about pregnancy problems or the childs health!