It seems that everyone has to get married and have children. My life seems to revolve around men. I'm either going out with men or texting them etc, coz i'm used to having male attention it's weird when i don't have it, i feel like somethings missing. But i shouldn't feel like that because it's ok to be alone isn't it?
When i see old friends they ask me about my love life, as if it's not normal to not be going out with anyone or even interested in anyone. My point is is there more to life, why is it nessacary to be with/have someone?
2006-06-21 11:17:41 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course there is more to life
2006-06-21 11:21:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for doing this..... but I presume that you're young, maybe under 25....??? Sorry if I'm way off.....
I remember saying the same thing a while back....
I left my family home to be with a man. Then when we finished, I went more or less into another relationship. Although I do remember saying at the time, that this was not what I wanted.
Anyway, I got to a point, because I never wanted the relationship with "this guy", I realised that I din't need anyone there. I started doing things for me, and stopped using myself.
I got out more, and signed up for some canoeing. I loved the thrill, and the way that it took me away from the "same old, same old". I knew that I was happy within myself, and positively independant.
Then a few months later, out of the blue, I truly fell in love with someone who also went canoeing.
I realised form this, that all the other relationships in the past had not been worth the time wasted on them. I could have been doing all the things I really wanted to do, instead of trying to settle down just for the sake of it.
It is OK to not to have someone. This IS when you can roam free.
If you're bored, then find a new thing to fill the void.
2006-06-21 11:34:23 · answer #2 · answered by veggiekayak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is what you want-then there is nothign wrong with this. Throughout my teens i had numerous boyfriends (and no to everyone reading this, i was most definately not a slapper!!), and i loved it at the time. But now, im at the ripe old age of 21 *grin* i have settled down a lot, and found what i have been looking for i guess.
in the past i was quite insecure, as most of my boyfriends either cheated on me or lied to me time after time-I also had an abusive relationship with my father, so i was always craving male attention. Strangely enough, when i began studying psychology in alevel, this helped put my head staright, and helped me to understand myself! You have to ask yourself i guess- why are you questionning your actions, unless you are unhappy or searching for something else?
It seems to me like you have to come to the point in your life when you are perhaps questionning the point of having your life "revolve" around other men. If this is what you like-then this is fine-after all you only live once, and if you dont have any further commitements, then there is nothing wrong with having your own independance and freedom.
However-if you want something more long lasting, then perhaps you should slow down, and think about the qualities that you would look for in a long term partner (or a partner at leas) as it seems to me, that people who date (or see) various men (or women) over a long period of time, either havent found what they are looking for-or dont know what to look out for!!
Perhaps this is what is missing in your life-you want a sense of knowing, and perhaps you would like to be with someone long term? The way you described being "alone" also put this across to me-not dating someone, doesnt mean that you are "alone" and you have to think about this seriously. I think that comment alone, encouraged me to think that perhaps you were only dating these guys, to not "be alone".
You have to find yourself and know what you want-as i dont think you are happy at the moment in yourself-if you are having doubts about your relationship(s).
Finally, it is not "necessary" to be with someone or to have someone-only if it is necessary for you, or that is what you want. everyone after all has an individual choice-there isnt a rule book that says you HAVE to get married or that you HAVE to have children. And even though a hell of alot of people do do this-only do or go with what makes you happy and content at the end of the day!
Good luck xx
2006-06-21 13:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-02 07:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is the most important thing in life especially for teens and twenties. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Naturally there are other things like earning a living, loving your kids and making your mark and contribution.
The thing is you cant really do justice to these things or even think about them properly until your sex life is sorted.
Time spent, in you case, in relationships with boys is by no means wasted. Don't be alone if you have a suitable enjoyable fulfilling alternative.
2006-06-21 11:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by Paul R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessary to be WITH someone... if you have friends, you'll never be alone. It's ok to be on your own and in fact it's often great to be able to do whatever pleases you - you don't have to worry about anyone else's opinion/feelings etc...
I've spent long periods without a girlfriend and also without sex and not felt any great loss or pangs of desperation... being single is a state of mind as well as physical fact.
I guess you haven't yet developed the kind of psyche that can deal with being on your own, as yet, though it sounds like you will reach that point where you realize and recognize that being on your own is sometimes better than being with someone you don't really want or need to be with. Just as we need to spend time with others - friends; family; lovers etc - to grow, we also need to give ourselves some quality time and space to blossom and grow, too.
Dammit! I was just gonna answer YES to this question!
2006-06-21 14:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by oyster250 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not necessary. Unless of course you meet a guy and you and him are truly happy and content with each other - but let this happen naturally, don't pull for the sake of it!
I've been single for a year. Three of my friends are also free and single, and more are still boyfriend-girlfriend, not married and no kids.
I don't miss having a boyfriend, and I'm not actively looking for one either. Mind you I've never been one to crave for attention - when I'm with a man I'd sometimes rather be alone!
I'm too busy with my hobbies and watching the football at the moment anyway! XD
2006-06-21 11:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by badgerbadger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know how old u r but i think u need to grow up.
i love the company of men, a lot of my time is spent talking with men, HOWEVER, my life does not revolve around them and i feel just as great when i don't talk to them. I say get a hobby or do something for you. have fun and learn to love urself and ur company. ... i think perhaps the problem is that u haven't quite found urself and haven't had the chance to experience life - because believe me although men and sex are great there are plenty of others thigns just as great as that ... hmmm although sex does seem to be #1 lol jk.... kinda
2006-06-21 11:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by dvlndskyz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course there is more to life than love and men etc, but you just have to find your own meaning in life.
I don't know about what you believe in but i personally believe that everyone has a meaning in life, and sooner or later everyone finds what there meaning in life is meant to be.
But also life certainly does not revolve around men, Maybe you are like this as your unconscious self is afraid of being alone, so this causes you to feel the way that you feel when there are no men around for you to talk/hang around with etc.
Can you not go out and find something to do which does not involve being around men, even if it is only for a short period of time to start with and then build yourself up to perhaps spending more and more time away from men, go out with or/and find some female friends to hang around with and chat to like i said start off with trying this for just shorter periods of time first and then gradually build your self up to spending a little more time away from men, i am not saying that is bad for you be with men to much as there is no to much time being with men, i am just saying that maybe you should try to spend a Little time away from men and try to spend some time with women and them see how you feel. Go do some girlie things, you never know you might actually like it.
2006-06-21 11:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reading this made me sad for you. God yes, there is so much more to life than dating. Having a male companion is great but that is not all there is to your life. And being alone is fine. You come in this world alone and you leave it alone too. You have to do things for you. Be a little selfish, have some me time. It is wonderful to have someone in your life but you truly grow as a person when you are comfortable with yourself and being alone sometimes.
2006-06-21 11:26:32 · answer #10 · answered by Peace2All 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not necessary to be with someone. I used to feel like I had a void to fill with a guy. It's not healthy and something else in your life is wrong that you need to focus on. You need to figure out what that is before you get into a relationship, or else you are gong to lose yourself. Trust me. Take some time off from men.
2006-06-21 11:32:27 · answer #11 · answered by Kitty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋