is it just me?!!!?

Question

am i dillusional or is it really difficult to find love these days? when out at clubs or bars guys are only looking for one thing, whats the best way to find true love?

i dont often hang out at bars and clubs, was just wondering, guess i'm trying to compare it to 20 - 30 years ago. it seems mens attitudes have changed toward commitment etc.

i'm twenty six

Answer 1

what's that? "true love" ? is it a name of a pub? lets go.

Answer 2

bars and clubs are probably the worst ways to meet people for relationships. It might seem easier to talk to people because you have lost your inhibitions through alcohol, but neither of you will be truly being yourself. Also, the atmosphere is noisy so you can't really get to know each other. It also tends to be dim lighting, so you can't see them very well either. The end result of going further with this person is likely to be disappointing. This is because don't really know them at all, you can't hear or see them and their drunk! I think a much better way to meet people when you're ready for a relationship is by taking up a new hobby, walking the dog, doing a course at college, internet such as hot or not which isn't a dating site but has a meet me section, religious gatherings, any gatherings that involve one of your interests, and just generally making an effort to try to get to know people in everyday situations, such as the supermarket or on the bus.
However, in order to find a lasting and loving relationship you have to be comfortable with yourself first. As soon as you realise that you are a great person on your own, men will be drawn to you.

Answer 3

Wow, a lot of people here seem to have mixed emotions about whether or not love even exists. I feel for those of you who say it doesn't...because it does. However, the definition of love is the same as it has always been, people's interpretations of it vary greatly though...and a lot of times, that's because those people haven't truly discovered what love is yet, even though they think they have. However, everyone here is correct in saying that bars & clubs are the wrong place. Those are meat markets and superficial hot spots, and if you're not out shopping for a "quick meal" or someone to shack up with from time to time, then don't bother looking there. Love doesn't exist among alcohol-o-plenty, loud music, flashing lights, and cocky ego inflated cologne bathing smooth talkers just looking to grab a bite of your sweet love muffin...and if that's all you're looking for, then you're in the right place, and there's nothing wrong with having fun and working out your sexual aggressions on a slab of beef.

However, love does exist, and in a lot of places. The key to it is, quit trying to find it, let it find you. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. If you head out on a mission to find it every weekend, it will evade you at every corner...or so it will seem. Kick back, hang out, and have fun with your friends...it's just not your time yet, but it soon will be. Patience grasshopper, patience. Just when you've given up on love, it will find you and wrap it's arms around you and give you a big warm hug...just to remind you that it's still there, and not to be taken for granted.

Sometimes, life plays little tricks on us to keep us in touch with reality, and if we treated others badly (like cheating, or not appreciating a good man or woman) love and life have a funny way of snatching those things away from us and not give them back until they feel we are ready to appreciate them this time. Not saying this has happened to you, but only you know you, and love will be back...just answer when it knocks, and invite it in with the intentions of it never leaving, and treat it with the utmost respect, and it probably never will. Good luck, because it WILL happen, just let it.

Answer 4

True love is difficult to find. It's been my experience and I"ve heard, that it comes when u least expect it. When u look for it, u won't get what u want...but give up....and it seems to find u. Bars and clubs aren't necessarily the best places to find guys of substance...unless they REALLY wanted a drink and that's it, but there, it just happened, he wasn't looking for a hook-up, but that's rare. Just go places cuz u want to go places, don't go looking for guys...that's when u find 'em, and at times, it's not so obvious, but that's the best kind. The best way to find love? Stop Looking for it....it's cliche, but it worked for me, and many I know, so hopefully it'll work for u too.

Answer 5

Join the "club"...I'm a guy who has definitely picked the wrong female element in life. I'm tired of all the BS with dating. The Match/Yahoo/E-Harmony's of the world provide no solution. Not cynical, but, just confused as well. Don't give up...you never know! Keep the glass 1/2 full :)

Answer 6

I don't know how many time I 've told this to people. But stop looking for love love will find you when you at least expect it. Believe me, I went through and now I have the man of my dreams. Don't rush things to happen cause you'll end up where you started. Your young have fun first, you never know you'll run into the guy of you dreams

Answer 7

did you ever think of not going to a club or bar to find love. Why dont you pole the people here and find out where they met their husbands. Then go from there. Ill start I met my husband at work.

Answer 8

Its not just you. i hate rejection, so i dont take many chances. Thats no ones fault but my own, Ithink all theres online dating sites are a joke also. as far as i can tell were all hiding behind computers and not making much progress, if you figure it out let me know.hell i want long term commitment , once uopn a time "happily ever after " was the goal, now it seems till morning is to long to ask for someones attention.

Answer 9

I'd go to the clubs and pubs not to find mr right but mr right now and have fun, and when you least expect it mr right will have found you. You can find true love in pubs, my dad met a lovely woman in a pub and now they're happily maried, but not are men are the same but a good one will find you if you're patient. xx

Answer 10

I don't know your age, but believe me it doesn't get any better. I am 40 and looking for someone in their 40's or even 50's and they are the same, not knowing what they want yet and not ready to settle down. Gosh, how old do they have to be? Even the guys on the online services that say they are looking for someone want to get physical right away. They want to take it slow, so they say, but I think they mean that on committment, not getting free sex. I am still looking.

Answer 11

Don't go to clubs and bars. If true love exists, it's not in there.