Any suggestions of how I can get over this?

Question

I've already had an abortion and 4 miscragies and I was 10 weeks pregnant until today when I started bleeding very heavy and ended up in the hospital where they told me that I lost the baby... So how can me and my fiance get over this?

Answer 1

I am very sorry for your losses. I just had a miscarriage/D&C three weeks ago. It is still very hard for me and it will be for you for a while. I found that answering miscarriage questions on here has been very helpful and has also helped me know what I am feeling is okay. There are many women here that are going through the same thing we are and they want to talk about it too. You may want to think about naming your baby because it is hard to grieve for a child with no name (I named my baby Angel). Also you could plant a tree or name a star in remembrance. Don't let anyone make you think that you should get over it quickly. People who have never had a miscarriage don't understand you loved your baby the instant you found out you were pregnant. They don't understand the bond between mother and child, even if the child was not born. I started a group on the light a candle website for everyone to light candles for their lost little ones. I also found these website that are helpful to me with coping with my loss.
I wish you the best of luck in the future. I will pray for you.
Also, I found a pretty poem and put it on my Q&A page. You might would like to copy it and keep it with your ultra sound pictures.

Answer 2

you have obviously coped in the past and i can only imagine how heartbreaking having a miscarriage can be, so you are already a very strong person to have dealt with all that heartache.
at the moment your emotions are running high as it has all just happened, you and your fiancee need to take things one day at a time, do not expect to have felt like this is all behind you for a long time, you will have good and bad days.
i don't know if you have explored any medical reasons for all the miscarriages, but i know i sure as hell would be going straight to the doctor if i had been through the same thing, to see if there was anything i could try to keep the next pregnancy, as i am sure that you long for a child. good luck with the future you and your partner have a lot to look forward to :))

Answer 3

I am sorry.Your OB can do testing to find out why you are having repeat loses. Sometimes just something simple can be fixed to allow you to carry to term. MOST OB's do testing after 3 miscarrages. You said you had a abortion it is a well know FACT that a d&c can cause problems with later pregnancy due to scar tissue or a weak cervix. I have had one loss at 10 weeks we knew via ultersound at 8 weeks there was no heartbeat. It is a very emotional time.I hope you find out why this keeps going on. My cousion had 4 losses b4 she carried her 1st child.

Answer 4

you might want to ask your doctor if the miscarriages have anything to do with the abortion. i know some women after an abortion can no longer have kids because the abortion process was done incorrectly

Answer 5

i am sorry for your loss.
the only thing that helped after my miscarrage was to cry.
you need time to greve.
it is a very tramatic thing to go through.
the best thing you can do is cling to each other and let your emotions out and let each other know you love each other.
time will make the pain lessen, but there will always be a scar on your heart.
i wish you luck.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry about it...You should be together, sharing your love and if you want you can go to a psycologist,it will help both of you...Good luck!

Answer 7

Tough luck.
Maybe it's a sign that you aren't supposed to have a baby???

Answer 8

Talk to a counclor, doctor, psychiatrist.

Answer 9

don't lose your faith in GOD. see your gynecologist & follow medical advice