I am 17 years of age, and I have liked this girl since the day I've met her, Ive been there for her, when she was dropped by her ex, I was the one giving her the support and love to get her out of pain, I thought then maybe whe had a chance, but instead she goes out with my friend, the same happens and I am there to give her a shoulder to cry on, still she only sees me as a friend!! I really like her and I love her, but she won't take that into mind, it is like I am fighting a losing battle, and the harder I try the more emotional I get. I had a very rough childhood, I had no love that was given to me, I always gave it to other people, she really has shown me the way of feeling what love is about, but now if asked she only sees me as a friend, a doormat! I have done and tried everything, please help me!!!!
2006-06-21 10:34:32 · 7 answers · asked by Joffey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start dating someone else and than see how she feels when you are not there at her every becking call.
2006-06-21 10:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Jennifer♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok buddy, I've been there, so let me help you out here. Unfortunately, you're in the terrible "friend zone", and no matter what you do to show this girl how good of a guy that you are, and how great you would treat her, and how you think the two of you should be together, and how perfect you feel the two of you would be, it's only working in reverse for you. Believe me, she knows you're interested, you've probably done and/or said a few things to make that obvious by now, so now is the time to back off. That whole being a friend to hang out with and a shoulder to cry on thing is all she wants from you...at least for now. It sounds like she might be attracted to the wrong kind of guy, in which case, be thankful you're not him. It's going to be hard, but distance yourself from her, don't call her, don't go to her house or "convienently" be somewhere she is, and make yourself scarce. Try your best to keep yourself completely occupied with something else (preferrably other people, and maybe even another girl) and don't make yourself so readily available for her. By distancing yourself, you're killing two birds with one stone...let me explain. First, you're keeping yourself busy with friends (or whatever) and that keeps her off your mind, at least for the most, and is giving you a chance to see what else is out there...like someone that will appreciate you, and not use you as a doormat. Plus, that helps seperate you from the infatuation you have for her (because that's what it is right now, believe me, I've been there) and gives you the oppurtunity to see if you truly do like her the way you think you do now. Secondly, it's giving her a chance to see that she can't just rely on you to be her doormat when she wants to wipe her tears on you until she's over it (which is the same as using you), and gives her a chance to sort of miss you...and if she does, and comes to her senses that she's missing out on a great guy, then she'll make her way back to you...but DO NOT sit around and wait on it to happen because the odds aren't exactly in your favor. Honestly, if she were interested that deeply, the two of you would probably be together, but sometimes you just need to back off and show her the more confident side of you...the side that doesn't NEED her, but don't be rude about it. There's no guarantee anything you do will work out the way you want it to, and just because she "feels" right for you, doesn't mean you are for her...and if she doesn't see it already, you don't want to waste your time trying to prove it just to wind up breaking your own heart. Don't stick around and set yourself up for a fall, and she can't wipe her feet on you if you don't lay down and take it...MAN UP, you can do better than this. I'm sorry to hear about your childhood, that's rough, but what she's showing you isn't love...at least not the kind you're looking for, so what are you sticking around for? Get yourself out there and see what else you might be missing out on, and worse case scenario, if she does come to you, you will have occupied your time and built your confidence back up and that will only attract her more to you, and if she never does, then you've already starting putting a good distance between you and her, and now you're halfway there. It won't be easy I know, so grab your friends and take them with you...but whatever you do, don't get drunk and make a scene, or tell her anymore about your feelings, and NEVER EVER make that "2 am Oh God I love you so much" phone call because you're drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time...because it never is, at any time. Good luck man, I hope it works out for you the way you want it.
2006-06-21 18:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by chrisalee38 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can look at this problem in two ways. First of all, you could think that she is totally blind and that she is missing out on a great guy and keep waiting and waiting and waiting for her to come calling for you. And possibly miss out on a great thing.
Or...You could also just tell her how you feel...bite the bullet! Tell her you have been crazy about her since the day you first laid eyes on her and that all you have ever wanted from her is to feel the same way about you that you feel about her.
WARNING: Maybe she knows that you have liked her for a while, but she is (plain and simply) not into you. You can not make someone love you. Hopefully this is not the turn-out you get.
Good Luck!
2006-06-21 17:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that was in your situation. I knew he liked me and would jump at the chance to go out with me. My best friend said that he was probably in love with me. The truth is, she has probably already thought about going out with you and if she hasn't made a move, then she's probably not interested. It hurts, but it's the truth. Back in the day when I was cruel, I use to use this boy, knowing he had feeling for me. I knew he would do whatever I wanted. It was wrong and now I realize I shouldn't have played with him like that. She's not interested in you in that way and if you can't deal with it, then you're going to have to stop hanging out with her.
2006-06-21 17:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by brd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to her, why don't you tell her what you feel about her. Maybe she thinks that you see her as a friend. Just tell her how u feel, see what happens from there.
2006-06-21 17:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry, but maybe u r the type of guy for her, that she would luv to just be friends with
2006-06-21 17:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by ->>sweet<<- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe ya are just going to be friends..
2006-06-21 17:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋