produced a kid. Anyways I finf myself not liking him these days. HE IS MOODY, BITTER AND NEGATIVE. He cant enjoy things without picking out all the negative things about whatever. He is also a huge procrasinator. Before I moved in with him his home was dump (litterally) he had dog **** in his basement form his dogs and his mother (who lived in the suite in the home) was a pig. There were maggots and bugs and cat piss and dog **** everywhere.
When I came into into the picture I got his mother out of the house and she got her own apartment. The house got a total redo. It now looks nice.
Anyways I am not happy with this person, I feel bitter and I never was this way before. I am tired of living with such a bitter man, yes he does have his moments of normalcy but then he changes and because bitchy. We have a kid and that is the only reason I am here, he is too young for me to really leave.
We have done councelling and I am really fed up with him, I dont know what to do?
2006-06-21 10:27:58 · 24 answers · asked by Dina S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You should tell him how you feel! Let him know that if he does not change, that he will lose you, and most likely the child! Maybe he will realize what a loss that would be and change his ways! Tell him how you feel-! It will not only give him a chance to change, but it will also let you see if he cares enough to save the relationship! If he doesn't change, find someone else! Good Luck!
2006-06-21 10:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by °kels° 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the problem with relationships now adays, and the primary stone in the foundation for divorce. Tolerance, my dear, Tolerance. You need to be more tolerant. People don't just change, love doesn't just die. There are problems, issues, behind it. Find them and solve them. Work it out. If everyone would just do this, the number of broken homes in the world would be severely diminished.
I'm only 18, I know. I have been married for almost an entire year and have been a stay at home mother of a beautiful boy for the last 3 months. We've had problems, not too different from what you've talked about--procrastination, cynicism, and even unemployment was one of our issues. Many times I wanted to leave. Many times I chose to stick it out.
Happiness isn't found in flight, but in true love and devotion. I understand you are not married to him and have not taken out your vows--the ones that say 'for richer or poorer' and 'in sickness or in health'... not that anyone pays attention to them these days. However, if you made a child with him, it is your responsibility to give that child the best life possible. Preferably with a mother and a father in the hope, commited and faithful.
2006-06-21 11:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the kid and go. You've been feeling like the relationship is not good for you for a while now, it's not a passing phase. You've tried counseling, it did not work. So, leave. Don't bring up a child in an atmosphere of hostility and bitterness. You will move on and give him an image of a happy moher. You are entitled to child support too, as long as his father makes any money, and regardless of the fact that you left. Most probably, the father will also be getting at least some custody. Accept that, unless you think he'd be abusive, then you'll have to fight him in court. In any case, don't ride a dead horse.
2006-06-21 10:36:27 · answer #3 · answered by browneyedgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave him yet you got to think of the kid but then it seems you have been...advice i would give you is try a trail separation of like a few months where one of you leaves the home and start to see other people if you wish so u have the opportunity to think your relationship over(do u want to be with him any longer) He will have the chance to do the same thing...If you do ask him to do this explain to him your not leaving him just thinking everything over and see if this is where u want to be in life...This will give you all the chance to really appreciate each other or learn the truth...I hope this works out for you all..If nothing works you will probally have ot leave him if this happens im sorry.
2006-06-21 10:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by Shameka E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have HAD enough self respect not to sleep with a guy who allowed dogs to CRAP up his home. I know you must have a very low self esteem or you think you can SAVE people to have EVER got involved with a person who lived life like a farm animal. LEARN from this and get someone who you can look up to and respect and who will be a great role model for your child. I was in a BAD relationship for 8 years to long with a assshole we had two kids. He was - and rude and a terrible provider and a cheater. I knew I was to good for him. I am now with a man who I love admire and respect. I will never settle for less then the very best.
2006-06-21 10:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the child's safety and as a responsible parent you need act like an adult , do what's best for the child and you. The child does not deserve to be placed in a home of fighting and arguing over things that should be discussed rationally. A real mature marriage does not contain fighting and ridicule you're teaching your child this is how it is. And under his fathers influence or lack there of he will turn out identical.
2006-06-21 10:38:52 · answer #6 · answered by J P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf seems to have a problem, maybe at work, or with his mother, or money. So try to help him, try to remember why you loved him (or you still do). Don't give up so easily, at least try so you cannot blame yourself.
If you don't succed and you decide to leave, are you able to support kid? Before you leave your bf (if you decide that way) find a job if you don't have it and a new place to live with your child. You should also be prepared on the fact that your bf and his mother will probably fight to see baby.
What ever you decide your child is yours biggest responsibility.
2006-06-21 10:44:56 · answer #7 · answered by HarMonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat. I was with the guy off and on and we had a kid, We stayed together for almost 3 years after she was born. I was miserable and I knew i didnt love him. I just stayed for her. He couldn't keep a job, didn't clean, never did anything but played video games and ate everything out of the fridge. I met someone new when i was out one night and had instant chemistry. I realized I needed to do something to make myself happy. I broke up with him and kicked him out. Our daughter was 3. I ended up with the new guy. And we've been married for 3 years now. Im happier than ive ever been, and we have a 2 year old son and Im pregnant now. Dont worry about your child they bounce back. You have to make yourself happy, and if your not happy with him, then move on.
2006-06-21 10:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by Maw730 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Option 1: Dump him and become another struggling single mother stuck in the dregs of poverty. Your child will go to a public school and when he gets home nobody will be around to take care of him or help with his homework because you will be working sixty hours a week to care for yourself and your child. He will begin to take drugs in seventh grade and drop out in eighth. Both of you will end up strung out on heroin and will die of aids by the year 2018.
Option 2: Kill the baby and the husband. Take a long vacation out of the country preferably in Columbia and start and coffee bean plantation. Soon you will marry Juan Valdez, have seven healthy children and spend the rest of your life in bliss.
2006-06-21 10:36:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having kids together is no reason to stay with someone. It can only lead to more resentment between you, and is usually a bad and unhappy environment for the baby.
Just explain to your child that you both still love him or her, but mom and dad need to be apart, and it isn't their fault.
I am sorry this relationship didn't work out for you two.
Good luck!
2006-06-21 10:33:51 · answer #10 · answered by Queen D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋