I have so many feelings for the person I'm with and he says he has feelings for me too but he is so mean to me and he doesent act like he cares and I just dont know what to do anymore. I love him so much. Can you help me?
2006-06-21 10:25:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
girl move on
2006-06-21 10:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by oneofthebless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change people. Only they can change themselves. I'd dump him if I were in your shoes, but I'd also take a little time to figure out why I even need to ask the question.
That is not a judgment, cuz I've been there, I'm just saying that a relationship should make you happier, and make you feel safe and comfortable and secure. People who are abusive are internalizing their own insecurity. People who feel secure have no need to lash out at anyone. They are comfortable in their own skins.
Loving him more won't help. It actually makes it WORSE when someone is using your love against you, if you think about it.
And one other thing. I am the sort of person that wants to believe that things get better. I have a hunch that you are too. But this stuff doesn't get better. Not unless he wants to change. And if he does, wish him well, but still get rid of him. Maybe he will change but most don't and there are other fish in the sea.
I am sure I speak for all who read and respond to this post when I say we care about you even if we don't know you, and that you don't deserve meanness.
Mean people suck. ;-)
2006-06-21 10:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by james_d_nichols 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about it. Maybe he doesnt even realize the way hes acting is hurting you. Guys arent always the brightest. Then you both can work on how he should treat you, could be he just doesnt know how to show his love for you, or how to treat a woman. But if its the worst case, where he knows his actions hurt you and does so for that purpose, then he is a a** and you can do better. So Leave his A** in the wind and find a better man.
2006-06-21 10:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts; I've been through it. The bottom line is he doesn't love you, and what's worse, he's playing you.
If you have any hope of salvaging the relationship, you need to let him go. I know it's hard, but in order to regain the mustual respect you have for each other, this is a necessary move. If he leaves, hard as it is now, you WILL live, and you will find someone worthy of you.
2006-06-21 10:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by freedomnow1950 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, walk now!!! If he can have feelings for you and still mistreat you, then he will never change, it will only get worse! TRUST ME! I am divorcing that kinda man. I say, if you truly love someone, then the thought of them being in pain causes you 10 times more pain. Love is suppose to be wonderful, not full of sacra fices with no return.
2006-06-21 10:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by smile4tonya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the old saying is we always want what we cant have. how true, do this test to yourself, write I mean write down the best that this person is to you , then write down the worse thing this person does, an sit back an see some one else an do that same thing compare both people an see this other person is someone that like you an really want to be with you.
2006-06-21 10:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by ro101se101ma101ry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, get a life and quit trusting your feelings and start trusting your brain. This person doesn't care for you, so get away from them. What you mean by "I love him so much" is "I'm so infatuated with the image of who I think he is".
Obviously he isn't the nice guy you think he is.
Yeah, my mother in law had this husband that "she loved him so much"... but he was a jerk, and stayed a jerk and after a lifetime of heartache she divorced him. She could have been with someone who loved and respected her, but now it's too late.
don't be stupid.
2006-06-21 10:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say make up a crazy lie and see how he reacts but lying never works but it would be fun to do but being that this guy is mean leave him alone, the more u put yourself out there the meaner he will get because he probaly thinks he has u all figured out--girl move on and by u moving he can see how special u really are
2006-06-21 10:32:03 · answer #8 · answered by nynurse1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. Think about all the things you have given to him, and then think bout all the things he has given you. Then if u are like me, try to get over your fear in losing someone you have given so much for. just remember its all about you. are you happy, are you satisfied. if he cares bout you the way he says he does then he would give you all of those without a doubt.
now i just need to follow my own adivse GOOD LUCK...hopefully you will get some more advise it usually helps.
2006-06-21 10:31:00 · answer #9 · answered by amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they are unsure but don't want to tell you right now I am young I am 12 years old so when I think of someone as young as me to say I love you I think they have know idea of what they are saying.
2006-06-21 10:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by cookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words! Ask him why he is so careless when you see your relationship with him as so precious. If he doesn't give you a decent answer then you may need to move on. Maybe his perception is not as you see it. You need to sit down and talk to him. Good luck.
2006-06-21 10:30:06 · answer #11 · answered by cc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋