I got out of a serious realationship with a gf of mine that listed 3 years. I loved her I really did. She broke up with me and left me stranded. I have become the person I thought I would never become. I don't date for relationship intentions anymore I simply go out with women with the sole intent of getting in their pants. I have become the animal in which I hate but I cant help that. I get no joy or feelings when I meet a new girl. I go out to go out and have fun with these girls. What is wrong with me? I sleep with girls just to sleep with them and have no shame in it anymore. I no longer believe in love or anything close to it. I used to do everything for them but now I do it just for me and me alone. Can you blame me? I left out the details as to why she left because it doesn't matter. Lets just say it was not my fault.
2006-06-21 09:54:02 · 4 answers · asked by dazed and confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think perhaps you have unrealistic expectations both for yourself and others, and you've gone from one extreme (unrealistic optimism) to the other (unwarranted pessimism).
Relationships require work, and they also require sacrifices. But if you find someone you truly get along with, those sacrifices can really pay off. This doesn't mean they necessarily last forever, though. People are human, and everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others.
One-night stands, on the other hand, don't require much work and no sacrifices, but they aren't really terribly satisfying, either. They do fulfill certain immediate needs, but people who go from one-night stand to one-night stand for any length of time usually do as much damage to themselves as they do to those they prey on.
In a sense, what you're doing is a natural, if somewhat unhealthy, defense mechanism. It gives you immediate gratification and keeps you from thinking about the mistakes you made in your last relationship (and yes, you were partly responsible for the dissolution of your relationship, whether you want to admit it or not). But this refusal to examine the past will not help you move into the future. If you want to heal yourself, if you want to feel some degree of optimistic again, you need to seek out the help of a professional therapist who can help you deal with the mistakes of the past so you won't repeat them in the future.
So no, I don't blame you. It's not a question of blame; it's a question of what works and what doesn't. And what you're doing right now just doesn't work, not in the long-run, anyway.
2006-06-28 08:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by magistra_linguae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't Blame You.It Isn't Your Fault. Maybe You Should Get Some Help Though...
2006-06-21 16:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, it's all good. what you are doing is very normal. whenever myself or any guy i know become single, they just mess around with a bunch of girls, until one you really like comes into your life. then, you'll be hook and want to get to know her better. it's called, passing time. i'm dying to know what she did though. i'm sure it's bad, but just hang in there and you'll meet a girl that sweeps you off your feet soon. i'm telling you, they come into your life when you least expect it.
2006-06-21 17:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can help you. it is both of your fautls but i can help you to love again
2006-06-21 17:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋