Another daycare question!?

Question

I just answered a question something like "If you didn't have to work, would you still put your child in daycare?"

There were quite a few responses from people saying, "Yes, they need to learn to socially interract with other kids and count and learn their colors..."

My point (and question) is this: Most kids who stay home with their parents already know their colors and how to count and are starting to learn to read (and anything else that daycare centers are teaching them these days). They learn from the stay at home moms and dads. So why exactly DO they go to kindergarten? MY OPINION is that they learn to interract with other kids and learn their socialization skills in kindergarten. That's the WHOLE POINT of kindergarten. Anyone agree with me?

To Heidie:
You don't agree that children learn to socialize in kindergarten? What do they do in your state...lock all the children in their own padded cells and make them talk to the theacher through glass...like little Hannibal Lecters?

Another point (to everyone): Years ago, when it was taboo for women to work...they were pretty much rquired to stay home and raise their children...what did they do? Did all the kids from the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s end up being total monsters who would burn down the kindergarten classroom because they didn't go to daycare and didn't learn to "socialize" beforehand? I find that v v hard to believe...

For all those who say kindergarten is different, has changed, etc.: WHY has it changed so much? What's the hurry for kids to grow up so fast? What's next...trigonometry for first graders?? I wasn't in daycare as a toddler, and I started kindergarten in 1981 (when it was different, apparently) and I turned out alright, I think. If such an emphasis is being placed on actually teaching them to read, write, do math at such an early age, why is it that test scores (high school, mainly) in this country are still so low?

Answer 1

Unless you are working and seriously cannot find a babysitter then daycare is an okay thing. If you don't work, then you should be at home with your kids. Some people argue that they need to develop social skills but I think they're going to learn social skills in kindergarten anyway so why do they have to start at daycare? Those early years before kindergarten are the most important and parents should be at home playing, teaching, interacting, and caring for their children..not taking them to daycare just to get social skills they will get anyway when they are older.

Answer 2

Okay, as a working mom who has to use daycare, I believe that if you can find a good daycare program, or preschool, or whatever, it is an excellent idea. I don't have a choice in the matter unfortunately, but if I did I would still send my kids to preschool for a couple of hours a couple of times a week. Social interaction IS extremely important, even before kindergarten. It makes the transition from being home with mama to a class full of other kids that have to share the attention that much easier. I DO NOT think that stay at home parents should send their children off all day every day, so please do not misconstrue what I am saying.
Or, even, if one is uncomfortable with a daycare situation (which is understandable) I believe that kids should be enrolled in maybe a sports program or dance class. Kids need to learn how to share and play with each other before they hit kindergarten, not during.

Answer 3

Coming from a pre-k teacher to be, let me just say that kindergarten is a lot more serious than it used to be. It is now (at least in the state of Texas) learning at a level that would be equal to First or even second grade, as opposed to twenty years ago, when kindergarten was considered the base.

Now pre-k and even pre-pre-k is pretty essential. The learning that took place in Kindergarten 20 years ago, is now happening in that daycare. And yes, you could teach your child all of these things at home, and yes, they could excel at an even higher rate than if they had been taught at a program, but the socialization is not there.

Could you imagine the pressure of having to learn how to socialize, and learn to read 150 words, by sight? That would be like sending you to school, at 7 with little to no interaction outside of your family or friends.

I can see your stand point, but in todays kindergarten class, they are pretty much expected to be socialized to some degree, already.


Added:

I do not know why there is so much pressure on children these days...one thing that the education field has realized is that children are a lot more capable at an ealier age, than used to be expected. From what the studies say, we hindered children and held tham back.

As far as the test scores...those are still children that were in the earlier kinder programs.

basically American Education is F*cked, hopefully as a teacher I will be able to make a small difference, at least in my community.

Answer 4

Well, it appears that you haven't been in the kindergarten classroom as of late! It has changed tremendously since those who were in kindergarten in the 1980's or before went to school! Socialization is no longer the primary focus of kindergarten--The "whole point of kindergarten" is a good start to an academic career. Students must learn letter/sound relationships and begin to read and write, learn numbers and their relationships including simple addition and subtraction, time and measurement, as well as worldly concepts and the students' relation to the world around them. You may THINK that "most kids who stay home with their parents already know their colors. . ." but that is NOT the case. TV rules the world these days, and it is MUCH easier than actually playing, talking, and interacting with a preschool-age child! THAT is the public-school reality. Please be careful what assumptions you make about school before you visit.

Answer 5

I answered that question too. I have friends with children close to my child's age and we have play dates, so that has "socialized" her. I think that's what people did in the "old days". Also, my 2 1/2 year old does know a lot more than the average toddler because I talk to her ALL day. I ask her questions that stimulate her mind and teach her everything from colors, to letters, to acceptable behavior and manners. That is MY job as her parent! She is so darn smart that people do not believe me when I tell them her age, even doctors are amazed! I love to be the one teaching her this stuff, but I believe I am a natural teacher, not everyone is. Some parents just don't care and some don't know how. My daughter just started a program that is 2 days a week from 930-1230, and the main reason is because I want her to be able to take direction from another adult, which she will have to do in school. She is very attached to me also and I wanted to help her feel more confident when I wasn't around. She loves it! It also gives me a break, my husband is deployed to Afghanistan and I have a 6 month old son. I have no help, and no time away from the kids- so I use this time to spend with my youngest and run errands, it's so much easier with one than it is two!

Answer 6

Ok I got a question for you whats the reason they can't learn earlier than kindergarten how to interact. Whats wrong with children learning more earlier? With the last question the main concern was leaving the child with strangers I say if your not comfortable where your child is move them like yesterday! I am not comfortable with my child being at home doing nothing but watching TV all day and only being around adults that's when they grow up fast and learn a lot and its not the ABC's there picking up. No I definitely don't agree with you in my situation and in my household me and my husband believe it is in the best interest of my son period. What you do with your kids is what you do with your kids your not gonna change my mind and obviously I'm not gonna change yours so lets call it a tie OK! Also I agree with Sophie they have to learn to take direction from another adult and can not only be attached to mommy that also helps with separation anxiety which my son never had

Answer 7

Yes and no. Back in the day (when working moms were taboo) that's how it was for everyone, so kids played together in neighborhoods and stuff like that. But now, you have to arrange playdates in order to give your kids regular social interaction, and that doesn't always work. I think kids who go to daycare are better prepared for school just because they have been in a school-like setting ~ that's different from learning things at home. But that's not to say that every kid raised by a stay-at-home parent will have a hard time adjusting to school and every daycare kid will be perfectly prepared for kindergarten. Every kid is different.

Answer 8

If I didn't have to work and could be a stay at home mom I would. I would still have my child enrolled in some activity away from me. Kindergarten is much more advanced then when I went to school.

I do not feel guilty because my child is in preschool, He is not just learning just his ABC's and Shapes, but how to sit down and follow directions with distractions around him without mommy being there.

I don't think anyone should feel guilty about putting their child in daycare or being at home with their child. What's important is your child is in a loving stimulated environment whether it be at home or a center.


You sound like your angry that others do not see it your way and feel you need to be defensive on your opinion. But remember it's just that an opinion. Just like the others have their opinions.

Answer 9

This is another one of those no-right-or-wrong-answer questions. Whether a kid goes to day care or not, it totally depends on the child and his family. (OK, staying at a day care 12 hours a day would be abuse, and using TV as a baby sitter is also).

I've known kids that grew up in day care and are just as smart and well behaved. I've known kids that grew up at home that are addicted to TV. What really matters is QUALITY TIME for your child. The rate of learning skills (social or not) is highly dependent on the ability of the child. Some adapt very easily, some has lots of difficulty. You can not solely pinpoint it to day care, or stay at home parents, although definitely lots of influence. As the parent, you have to assess the need of your child. If he/she is shy, you may need to send them to more group settings such as day care more often. Some kids has difficulty adjust to new things, so being in kindergarden (which is daily), may be too much a change all of a sudden, so they may need to be part time daycare/preschool first to ease them into it. Some kids behave badly in daycare and need to be disciplined at home, and some kids get away with murder at home and behave as angels at school. So every home/child's situation is different.

My point is, there is nothing wrong with have children in day care, and there is nothing wrong with children staying at home, provided either one is a loving, learning environment for your children. Either way, if your child starts having behavior problems, is behind in skills, then they need to try the other setting.

Answer 10

I just took my son out of daycare after 2 1/2 years. I feel I can give everything he got there and more. I can give him one on one with his cognitive development and I can take him on play dates and other local parent toddler meet-ups so he can still receive his social interaction. I think children should develop social skills before they get to kindergarten.