My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's claims to be very religious (when he wants to be), and occasionally will say his conscious is bothering him and we should stop having sex. So we won't have sex for about 6 weeks, then he will decide he wants to have sex. Being celibate is not my choice and I never know when he will decide that we have to become celibate again. Is it wrong of me to want to have a "backup plan"? Meaning, I would like to have a friend I can call when my boyfriend decides we aren't going to have sex. I am getting tired of this roller coaster relationship, but I really do love him, however I have my needs as well.
2006-06-21 08:57:49 · 15 answers · asked by Slice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand what you want, but the right thing to do would be talk to him about it and if he doesn't want to change then leave him, but don't cheat on him. That is just wrong, put yourself in his shoes, if you really felt bad about doing something and he was cheating on you behind your back because he said he had his needs too, how would that make you feel? If he doesn't change leave him, but think about his feelings if he finds out or imagine what people will say about you! That wil give him the opportunity to tell everyone that you were sleeping with someone else behind his back!
2006-06-21 09:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I love this idea... especially if I was the backup plan. But realistically this is a bad idea. First off, if it's a big enough problem that you're thinking of this as the solution, you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him about how this rollercoaster is affecting you. If the problem is his feeling bad about having sex because you guys arent married is it possible to change that situation? Or if it's sex in general that's making him feel bad, then maybe this just isnt the right guy for you.
2006-06-21 09:03:59 · answer #2 · answered by SOG Wrath 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
First, if your boyfriend is serious about his commitment to God, he shouldn't be going out with you in the first place since you do not share his beliefs.
I would recommend that you either be the 'strong' one in the relationship and refuse to have sex at all. (turn the tables and see if he is serious), or break up with him and find someone more suitable.
You really don't want to be with someone who is so easily swayed from his commitments.
2006-06-21 09:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by fortressmystique 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be sure its what you want, also you must only see it as sex. As long as you and the person you choose both agree it is just sex. May be look for a married person taht way you both have something to loose. But end it if you start to get feelings more than sex. Andy
2006-06-21 09:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by ANDY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. This problem ain't gonna go away. Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship. You deserve good, sweaty, sticky daily sex, not guilty, strange scared, Christian sex!
Had you already decided to spend the rest of your life with this guy? He should probably find a woman who shares his beliefs, and you should find a guy who shares yours -- that sex is awsome!
2006-06-21 09:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the back up plan, but if the sex isn't that great id just dump him all together and work on your back up plan. He sounds like a goof. You can tell him I told him so. GOOF!
2006-06-21 09:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by B1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl lay it out for him, tell him!
heck , he maybe married or gay and even stupid
or it maybe possible that he is struggling with his faith and has episodes, he is human but hen maybe he need not be in any relationship, suggest that he should become a monk. but girl really move on.
2006-06-21 09:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important for both people to have about the same urge level. once a hour,day,week, no longer haha ! get a new guy !
2006-06-21 09:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by firecoonbiz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not getting all the information- he is either a: married, b: gay or c: stupid.
either way you lose - so kick him to the curb and find a guy that will take care of you as needed
2006-06-21 09:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by grisgris100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u do what ever makes u happy if u choose to stay with him u don't need to cheat on him just take it one day at a time this might be a faze he his just going through
2006-06-21 09:08:25 · answer #10 · answered by nanamarler3691 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋