In April, my cousin (my mom's nephew) unexpectedly died. My mom did a lot for my uncle in terms of helping him set up the funeral & received help from others (ex. her friends, her neighbors, etc.) One of those ppl was her neighbor "Rose". In May, I graduated from college. A couple weeks ago, my mom held a grad. party for me at her house. "Rose" came over, gave me a card with $ in it, & contributed a fruit platter to the party. I am now writing my thank you cards to all those who came & gave gifts. When I mentioned this to my mom, she said she wanted me to include in "Rose's" card a thank you for her contribution to my cousin's funeral. I feel awkward doing so, because I feel my mother should have sent her a thank you card herself since she was the 1 setting up the funeral & is the 1 who wants to thank "Rose". I was just going to thank "Rose" for my grad. present, the fruit, & for coming to the party. Do you think mom should write her own ty note or should I include her thanks in mine?
2006-06-21 08:23:42 · 28 answers · asked by destiny21 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You should only send the thank you for the gift and help that "Rose" gave you for your graduation. Your mother should be the one to send the thank you for the funeral....since it was your mom that "Rose" helped. Besides it is not acceptable to just "group" all your thank yous into 1 note. A separate one should be sent for each ocassion/gift. Your mom needs to get off her butt and thank "Rose" personally and with a note/card for the funeral AND also for the help/platter donation to your grad party. This is the least she can do for having what sounds like such a great and supportive friend in "Rose".
2006-07-03 09:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by toe_roper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom probably should send a separate note. On the other hand, she seems to be going through a busy time with the funeral and then your graduation party. If it were me I would include the thank you in my note and not make a fuss. Also, your mom may feel weird sending a thank after so much time has passed. Life is so short why worry about the little things.
2006-06-21 08:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by clae_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom should write her own thank you card. Your 'thank you' card to Rose for a graduation gift should be just that, not something to tag on some other 'thank you' (especially regarding a death). It would be rude of your mom not to take the time to write a proper 'thank you' card to Rose for her help with your cousin's funeral. Your cousin's funeral and your graduation are (obviously) two completely different events and any 'thank you's' should be given in proper context.
2006-06-21 08:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by ahmh81905 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can see where your mum would like you to include it in your thank you card.. being that this is a very busy and trying time for her and your family she may feel rushed and like as if there is not enough time, and is asking you to do her a favor to aleviate yet another task from her ever growing list of " things to do today"
Personally I would combine to 2 occasions.. but tastefully. accentuating on the grad and briefly mentioning the funeral. someting like :
Dear Rose, Thank you for your time, effort and help with the recent events our family has expirienced.
We enjoyed your contribution of a fruit platter during the graduation party. What an exciting time for _____! Thank you for bringing a gift, that was very much appreciated.
Recently as you know we lost a family member ______. I thank you also for your support and contributions during that hard time.
Our family appreciates all that you have done for us Rose, in happiness and in tears. I hope that in the future we can offer you such gratitude as you have shown us.
Sincerly the ____ family
( & then you all sign your names )
2006-07-02 09:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by timberleigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom should write her own note. Thank Rose for her gift, and if you feel that you should also thank her for her help during the funeral, do so in person.
2006-06-21 08:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by badbilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank your neighbor for your graduation gifts, and leave the thank you for the funeral help up to your mom. It's your mother's responsibility to do her own thank yous and it will mean a lot more coming from her than you.
2006-07-03 09:31:40 · answer #6 · answered by Manders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quickest, easiest way I see it is to send one card, saying "Thank-you very much for the card with the money (although unnecessary), the lovely fruit basket, and everything else you've done for us".
Then sign both yours and your mother's name, making sure that when you sign the names that YOU actually sign both of them, so "Rose" (if good at reading between lines) will see that your mother obviously didn't want to get too involved with the "Thank-you".
Or, if you don't think it will cause any hard feelings with your mother, simply ask her to write her own.
2006-06-29 12:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by Beck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i think your mom should write her own thank you note.
But then also, you can add a thank you to the note you're sending to Rose for the help she granted to your mom.
This will make her feel that,yes you actually are grateful for her efforts. And in turn she would never feel reluctant in helping you guys when you have any problem.Its no big deal.
2006-06-21 11:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by thelak89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do what someone else said. Wait until after the birth and send them out all together. Just make sure you acknowledge presents received for both the baby shower and the birth. Some people give two.
2016-05-20 09:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You write Rose thanking her for your graduation present and the fruit platter. It is not up to you to thank her regarding the funeral. They are unrelated and it is not up to you.
2006-06-21 08:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋