Is it ok for parents to slap their kids?

Question

First of all, don't get me wrong: I am neither talking about parents physically abusing their children, nor I intend to do it to my kids when I have them. I am just asking: do you think it is ok for a parent to slap a kid who is being terrible, throwing tantrums in public and not responding to any forms of reasoning? I understand that it in no way should be a form of parenting, but I guess parents sometimes can be driven nuts and loose their patience. Have you experienced it? Have you done it to your kid? What were the consequences?

Answer 1

When you say 'slap' that typically connotates a hit to the hand or face or something. The correct lingo would be spank for the corporal punishers and hit for the anti physical group.

I've been totally exasperated with my kids, I've done things I regret. Having said that maintaining authority over the kids, and being recognized as such can never be compromised. Once you've lost that, then you're pretty much done as an authority, - you've become an 'option' or an adviser, -and everything is negotiable with that child. I've seen parents and children negotiating everything from bed time to eat you dinner. Life is not happy for either of them, -when everything is negotiable.

Spank early in their lives, establish it as a real possibility, then after that use it rarely. The threat as a 2nd choice behind positive reinforcement works best. But as a rule-of-thumb, -for my 2 year old, I try to 'spank' about once a week so he remembers what it's like.

Answer 2

If it is really as you describe it, not a reasoned form of parenting, but an occasional loss of patience when your kids drove you nuts, then I would say that it is still wrong but understandable. Parents should apologize about it, say that it must have been hurtful and scary to the child, while being clear, however, that their child had really misbehaved. They should tell their child that they'll do their best not to take it out on them physically anymore but that there will be other consequences to outrageous misbehavior, grounding, cutting allowance, etc.... Do not over apologize if basically you slap your kid and did not go on beating on them, and if it's only happened once. You're human. If you did the latter (beat up), it is abuse, no matter what the justification, and it will have severe consequences on the child, and you have an anger and control problem.

Answer 3

Slapping is never a good idea. It teaches the kids that hitting is ok, which it isn't. There are other ways to deal with public tantrums, the key is to find out what works with each child. Tantrums in public are always embarrassing for parents, but sometimes you just have to let them run their course, regardless of what other people in the Piggly Wiggly think.

When your child is older, you can reason with them. There is no reasoning with a toddler. Sometimes you just need to get to a quiet spot (the restroom, parking lot, paper goods aisle, whatever) & wait the storm out. Once they realize they're getting no response from you, they'll stop. Then you can deal with what set them off in the first place.

It doesn't help to give in to their demands, because that encourages this kind of behavior, and it makes no sense to slap them, because that only teaches violence.

Answer 4

I believe in spanking on the bottom as a last alternative when no other form of correction works or if a child is doing something that could hurt themselves or others. I don't believe it is ever okay to slap a child on the face or head. #1 It's disrespectful. You can't teach a child to be respectful when you don't show them respect to begin with. #2 It's also easier to hurt a child when hitting them on the face or head. #3 Would you or I want to be slapped like that? I try really hard to live by the "do unto others" rule even when dealing with my own children who can be really mouthy and annoying sometimes. I don't slap my children but I have washed mouths out with soap for speaking disrespectfully or using potty words for cheap thrills and to get a rise out of me. I'll have to say that behavior is not normal for them because they know the specific consequences for those actions.

Answer 5

I never "slap" my kids but they do get their butts spanked when they act up. A lot of people act like it's so terrible to spnak your kids these days. I was spanked when I was younger and it never did me any harm. I have never been a voilent person from it. First rule of spanking your child is that you NEVER do it when you are angry. Each kid needs different forms of discipline; for mine, it's getting their butts spanked. For others, it's time out. Just because you use spanking as discipline doesnt mean that you are a bad parent. I get so sick of these people that complain about the people that spank but also complain about the way other people's children behave. I think that if you're not a parent you need to keep your nose out of it and if you are, go discipline your own kids and let me raise mine!!! If you're going to discipline your child, it has to be done immediately. It's confusing for a child to be disciplined at a later time because most of the time they wont even remember what they are being disciplined for.

Answer 6

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
A mild form of corporal punishment reinforces the parents disappointment and dissatisfaction with the child.

The consequences have always been good results.
I can even remember some times in my childhood this happened to me.
I have to say I am glad that it happened.

NOTE: If you leave a bruise, then you have gone TOO FAR.
Also NEVER in any way slap or smack a child in the face. This is very dangerous.

A hand smack or butt slap ONLY!

I'm ready for the flaming. Thank you.

Answer 7

I most definately think that it's okay (aside from actual abuse, of course). I was a terrible, spoiled little a**hole and I knew I was. But my mom didn't care and slapped me when I was bad. It worked. My best friend has a baby sister and she's a nightmare...a truly terrible kid because at age 9, she threatened her mom that if she hit her, she would call the cops and that child support would take her away....9 years old!! and the dumb mom buys it. This is THE worse case scenario if you let your child control the relationship. I most definately think that a smack with a belt, if truly needed, is ok.

Answer 8

the old school was a slap. I believe a slap when out of control. But make sure you have control over your own angure. Just one over the butt. Parents take back control over your children. Mine do have respect and when they act up and after the third time a slap on the butt is next and it not happening as often now and their still young.

Answer 9

no i dont think its in any way ok, i have felt like it before but i would never slap my child because it teaches them the wrong message that its okay to hit your kids... if this happens and you would be freaking just take a deep breath and relax, ground them when they get home and dont let them go into the stores with you the next time... leave them at home with their dad or have someone sit with them in the car...and tell them they arent allowed to go in because they were bad the last time and threw fits... or warn them when you get ready to go into the store that if they throw a tantrum there will be dire consequences even if you have to wait til they get home.
I did this with my daughter because she threw a tantrum once and she hasnt done it again since...

Answer 10

yes if the child crosses the boundaries set to an extreme. if the so called punishmentless way was supposed to work, then it wouldnt come to this stage. but everyone/child is different too, so some may deserve it as they dont understand that there are consequences. doesnt mean they grow up into serial killers does it. so many of the high achievers in the past grew up in this system, yet achieved a lot in life........ food for thought.