I'm a stay at home dad of an 18 month old boy. During the day I generally have no problem putting him to sleep, but at night he only wants his mother. Now, this is great for me as I get to stay in bed, but frustrating for my wife and for us as a couple. Any advice? Extra info: my wife still breastfeeds at bedtime and first thing in the morning although we plan to wean over the summer. Also, we have chosen to not let him cry himself to sleep, so don't bother with that advice. Anything else is greatly appreciated.
2006-06-21 06:42:13 · 15 answers · asked by elibaker72 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Babies at that age are creatures of habit. Mommy has had him at night time since he was born (presumably) and seeks her for comfort at that time. I think that crying himself to sleep isn't the best either. Maybe try having both go to the bedside and wean mommy off the nighttime comforting slowly. But I must say that there are still going to be times that only mommy will do.
2006-06-21 06:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by tarynlavender 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The advice you don't want is exactly what you should be doing. by 18 months he needs to be learning to put himself to sleep. Sorry but he's got you both wrapped around his little finger.
Put him in bed and let him cry for a little while..... just make sure he's good an tired and has a full belly first. If he doesn't stop crying after 10 minutes come into the bedroom and sooth him by rubbing his back, singing, whatever works but don't pick him up. Reassure him that he's ok and leave the room again. Give him another 10-15 minutes before you go back in again. Eventually he'll learn to go to sleep without any help from you. It's your decision but that's the only way he's going to learn to sleep on his own. Otherwise you'll still be rocking him to sleep when he's 4. (trust me i've seen it)
2006-06-21 13:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Brandie C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 3 year old boy and we're very close.
Some of the things I've always done, from the time he was just born are:
Your wife pumps and you feed baby with bottle
Read to the baby, whether you think he's listening or not
Tell stories about you and mommy, in a soft voice
Gently stroke his forehead, nose, eyebrows, and cheeks with your thumb (the bridge of the nose is the sleep-button, if you didn't already know)
You'll discover more "tricks" and more enjoyment, the closer you are with your baby.
2006-06-21 13:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but sometimes letting a baby cry himself to sleep will help him become more independant. The more you cater to his every whine will make him do it more and more.
I am not saying that you should leave a baby to cry for hours but sometimes a little time alone is the best answer. Otherwise your baby will learn that crying will get your attention and he will do it more and more.
Babies are not dums thaye pick up on routines fast-
Good Luck
2006-06-21 13:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by Utopia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll never fall asleep on his own because you put him in a routine of being lulled to sleep by either you or your wife. Once you start to wean him from breast feeding you might have to let him cry himself to sleep to get use to falling alseep on his own. After a week or so of this new routine he'll be use to it. Sorry I know you didn't want to hear that but it does work, (raising kids is never easy)
2006-06-21 13:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes the comfort of the breastfeeding by mommy at night. You should try to rotate nights, by letting her pump into a bottle for the nights you are to put him to sleep, talk soothingly to him like I'm sure she does and hold him close. If all else fails my son is 21 months and his dad will stand up gently rock & bounce him while holding him close doing some low deep indian chant thing... ooooo ooooo ooooo, ahhhh ahhhhh ahhh hey ya hey ya hey ya ooooo... Hey don't laugh (even though i chuckle at it too) it works.. :-) and I get a break
2006-06-21 13:53:37 · answer #6 · answered by WineLover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a new and proud grandpa of a 7 month old who gets real fussy before going to bed at night, while he's crying and fussing I just ignore it and gently tickle his face till he falls asleep. Just takes a bit of time.
2006-06-21 22:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way my husband did it was to walk around for only a few moments just to let him know that we were not far away he put him to bed and kept talking not very loud but enough to tell him that we were still there....have fun it gets better
2006-06-21 14:27:46 · answer #8 · answered by Tabitha J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the child wants his mother because she i gone all day that is the only time that he gets to spend with her so it is only natural that he would want her and not you he sees you all day every day my son is the same way with my husband he only wants to be with daddy at night because that is the only time that he sees him it will just have to be dealt with there is no easy way to do it your wife will either have to spend more time with the child say on the weekends or in the morning or he will still want her during the night
2006-06-21 14:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was very fussy to, but we had this bouncer that vibrated and he loved it. we would put him in it and with in minutes he would be asleep. he's two now and we still have it. he won't let us throw it away. Another thing might be that he misses his mom. She could try rocking him or while standing up hold him to her chest and sway back and forth. My mother calls it the mama jig.
2006-06-21 13:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by M D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋