im adopted!?

Question

i kno nothing about my past life. my parents wont tell me n e thing bcuz they're scared i will run off if i have n e helpful info, but i just wanna kno sumthin about myself. i dont even kno wat race i am!!! i go 2 the doctors and i dunno n e thing about my medical background. how do i get my parents 2 share stuff with me. im not gonna run away and i told them that already but they are so scared of losing me that they wont tell me n e thing. but they don't realize that the longer they wait 2 tell me this stuff, the more im gonna wanna run away and find out 4 myself. im 15 i can handle it im mature enough. what do i do?

Answer 1

tell them what you just told us that the more they wait the more you are going to want to run away

Answer 2

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Personally, here is what I would do. Forget your genetic parents. They aren't your parents. They didn't raise you, they weren't there when you started walking, talking, going to school. They were just people giving you a genetic make up. Maybe they gave you up because it was an unwed mother with a random guy. Maybe they just couldn't afford another child and didn't plan on getting pregnant (that is how my in-laws got my adopted brother). You have two parents that have been there with you through it all and they love you very much. Be happy you have that. A lot of people don't.

And at 15, you aren't mature enough, as shown by you saying something like, "but they don't realize that the longer they wait 2 tell me this stuff, the more im gonna wanna run away and find out 4 myself"

Answer 3

Let your parents know that you love them and that you promise you don't want to run. An important thing to let them know is that you are GRATEFUL that you were adopted by such loving parents, that you know many other people do not have it as good as you do and for that you are thankful, and that nothing in the world could replace them.

Be very calm and genuine while saying all of these things. Then tell them that you feel like you are old enough to know about your past, no matter how bad it is. Be prepared that if they actually tell you about the truth, it could contain some really bad things.

Also, trying to snoop around about information behind their backs is probably not a good idea, because they would probably be really angry if they found out. Just try to get the information out of them straight up. Show them that you are mature enough to handle it.

If they refuse your request, do not throw a tantrum and do not get angry or scream at them. It's okay to be upset, but hold yourself together and be respectful. That will show them that you are growing up. You'll just have to try another day if this happens.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I think the first thing to do is stop threatening to run away. They love you and it probably scares them to death to think about losing you. I bet they'll be more inclined to share information with you when they feel you're ready.
Remember, when they adopted you, they are taking responcibilty for your well being until you are 18 years old. And that's what they are doing. Some stones are best left unturned. Maybe they know something you don't about your birth parents that they feel is innappropriate for you to know at 15.
When I was 15 I thought I was mature. Guess what, I wasn't. I'm 29 now and realize how selfish and big headed I sounded when I was your age. Just like you! Beleive me. just be patient, lifes mysteries will unwind in their own time. Enjoy not knowing.... sometimes it's easier that way.
So, you wanna be mature, don't threaten your parents. They ARE in charge of you, and that's the way it's SUPPOSED to be.
Good Luck Dear!

Answer 5

Don't even think about running away and try to find anything because all you need is already there in the hearts of those two people who loved you enough to find you and raise you, whatever is out there was not good enough for you or your love. i think that it is ok if you just want to find out your ethnicity and country of origin but that is as far as i think you should know so i think that does deserve an explanation.
Your mom and dad are obviously scared and i think that you should probably just give them some time.
Why not try this, go and tell them in a firm and calm voice, "i have asked you two as my parents to give me the answers i need, i understand that you are not ready to talk about this but i am so whenever you are ready i will listen, and dont forget that i love you too no matter what."
After this try to keep your mind off this, that way your parents will see that maybe they should tell you because of how you seem so calm that maybe it wount affect you the way they thought it would.
After you know the truth, remember, your past does not define you, you define you, good luck:)

Answer 6

Your parents clearly loves you. Perhaps they feel that your knowing the whole story may hurt you. I suggest that you write your parents a letter expressing everything you would like to tell them. Everything that you always wanted to say but didn't. Tell them how you appreciate them raising you and you understand why they are so guarded but their fears are drawing a wedge between you and your parents. At the end of the letter request to meet with them at a specific day/time to discuss the letter and reiterate how you feel. The letter should really break the ice. They would be more able to understand where you're coming from if you explained it in a letter first.

I truly wish you and your family all the best. It will work out.

Answer 7

From the files of "been there, done that"-All of my children are adopted, and some came from situations that they never need to know about. Why should I hurt them by telling them painful things about their birthparents? Now that they are all over 18, I have helped those who wanted to know about their birth parents find ways to do so; some don't want to know. If a bad situation is not the case for you, and only your parents can gauge that now, then try to calmly and maturely DISCUSS your desire for knowledge with your parents. To be perfectly frank, you don't need to know anything about your medical background yet, since you are a minor, and your parents are responsible for giving information to your doctors. But talk to your parents and explain that you are very curious, and that you love them very much. It is very frightening for parents, too, to have this conversation with you. And at the risk of annoying you, you say you are mature enough to handle this conversation, yet you talk about wanting to run away? That does not show maturity-it sounds like emotional blackmail. Good luck to you, and remember, they love you very much. Adoption is just birth from the heart, not from the womb.

Answer 8

You have to appraoch them in a mature way. Do not make demands, pout, cry or throw a temper tantrum.
Chances are that they want to wait until they feel your matue enough to know the truth. If you approach them with a steady head that will prove your maturity.
Explain that you realy want to know. Let them know you will always love them and they will always be your parents.
Tell them you will find out eventualy even if they wont tell you, but you will respect them more if they tell you instead of you having to go through the trouble of research.
You have to understand that your birth parents may not want you to know who they are. They may have requested you not to find out. Ask your parents if that is the case.
There are so many posibilities.
Also be prepared to be hurt just in case the outcome is not what you want!

Answer 9

Sit down and talk to them. Tell them that you will not run away because it's pointless to because you don't even know where you're to go. Ask them simple questions about you. Let them explain as best as they can. The get into some harder questions. Try to find out where they live. The next day, see if you could go visit them. But if they won't talk... GO TO A RELATIVE! The y might know. It's worth a shot!

Answer 10

Talk to you parents. Reassure them that they first and foremost are you family.

Let them know that it is important that you know where you came from, to understand your background both culturally and medically.
If may also help to ask them to be a part of the process so that it is not your own personal pursuit, rather something you are doing as a family. It may help to ease some concerns they have.

Answer 11

I'm sorry to hear this. I think you should know because of the whole medical history thing. Now days that is very important. I don't understand why they won't tell you. I would most deffinately tell you everything that you were curious about. If it was through an adoption agency. they should have the records. Try that. I don't know.