How to handle a very stubborn 3y old?

Question

My son is very stubborn. What are your success stories how to cope and turn them around? Any recommendations for good books, articles, websites, techniques? Thanks.

Answer 1

I dont have children but I do have an older brother who was beyond stubborn.

My advice to you is;
Patience, patience, more patience and just when you think you've had enough patience... get some more patience.
Hopefully he'll grow out of it.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I have 3 boys. Oldest was very strongwilled. Instead of telling him to do things, I would ask? (Could you be a big boy and help mommy set the table..pick up your toys while I pick up mine...pick out your bedtime clothes so you can "swim" in the tub. You can also use a timer and "race to beat the clock." This helps with my pre-k class when it is time to clean up.

I know it is hard, but try not to let him know that he is frustrating you. If he is refusing to do something (like get ready for bed, shower, supper) just change the subject and do it together while you are talking about some cool bug you saw int he yard, what you are doing tomorrow..whatever he is interested in. He will be distracted, no tantrums thrown and your sanityis saved.

Although there is a time for a naughty chair/mat/corner. NO disrespect of you, your home or anyone living in the house. no name calling, throwing things, talking ugly. place him in time out with a timer(can use microwave beeper, egg timer.anything that buzzes when time is up) make sure he understands he is to sut for 3 minutes and if he cannot, he will go back to the naughty spot until 3 minutes is served. (he sat 1 min and got up, only make him sit 2 more) Then give him the opportunity to hear how hurt you feel when he calls names, throws things.etc and give him the opportunity to apologize. Then you FORGIVE and let it go. If the same thing happens again..same treatment..naughty chair...apologize..hug and then play.

I always emphasized the big boy helper thing and praised him lots.
It became second nature and carried through with the other two boys and I seemed to have things a lot simpler than those of my friends who only had one child.

Answer 3

In my experience, a very stern voice and a good time out always did the trick. I had a stepdaughter who was 3 when i married her dad, and this always made her obey me.

Building up respect from a child is a hard thing to do. But no kid likes time out and having to think about what they did wrong. A corner, sitting on a stair, or sitting at the dining room table alone, with no entertainment, for 3-5 minutes (which is a LONG time to a 3 yr old) shows them who is boss. Using a stern voice to explain before and after the punishment why they had to be in time out reiterates the reason for the time out. If they throw a fit and cry and throw themselves on the ground in anger, wait until that fit is over before letting the go. Make them suffer through the punishment, and show NO weakness to their wailing.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

you are able to both make sure that you pick to deal including your daughter as an equivalent and proceed arguing with her, or assert your authority as a figure and end arguing with her. in case you're taking the latter direction that would properly be complicated contained in the starting up yet would in all likelihood pay off (a minimum of until eventually your daughter enters early life). in simple terms tell her very frivolously that from now on once you tell her to do or no longer do some thing - it really is it. you'll repeat once, and if she nonetheless argues or disobeys there'll be sparkling effects. counting on your parenting variety you are able to spank her bottom or eliminate television and computer time or eliminate a toy she likes. you need to be consistent and bypass by with what you've threatened even at the same time as she protests and factors to be "a good lady". better of success!

Answer 5

I also have a very stubborn 3 year old little boy. What usually works the best for me is a light spanking on the rear. If that isn't working a time out works too. And sometimes if he still doesn't listen I just plain ignore it (ONLY if it's a temper tantrum, and then he usually quits.)

Answer 6

Dr. James Dobson has a book called "The strong willed child" I cannot recommend enough. It's talks about breaking will without breaking the spirit of the child. We used it with great results. Consistency is always a must as well.

Answer 7

First, try redirection. If you know that a temper tantrum is coming, then try to get him interested in something else. Explain to him why his behavior is not right. Tell him how it makes you feel and don't just show anger. Also the MOST important thing is consistency. You have to show him every time that there are consequences for his actions.

Answer 8

My daughter trys to be stubborn, but I don't punish her over it or anything. Right now they are trying to express themselves. But I have found that the whole reverse psycology things works great.
Also-------- rewards for being good comes in very handy too. Once she knew that she could get rewarded by play or treats or games she was more than willing to be compliant.

Answer 9

Consistency and Tough Love!

You must be consistant with praise, discipline, schedules, etc.

Children thrive on routine so set one and stick to it.

If you do not follow through on what you say you're going to do, whether it's a time out or a treat, he will learn not to trust you and how to push your buttons to get what he wants. Do not give in to him just to shut him up. You're the parent. What you say is law and that's the end of discussion.

Answer 10

I'm no parent myself. But my youth pastor has a very effective way of dealing with kids like thta. You get some silver dollars, and super glue them on a belt, then spank him with it. He'll never be the same after a few spankings with that belt