What should I say to my dad?

Question

I am 16. I am 5'1" and I weigh about 125 pounds. Which isn't tiny. But it's not huge either. My dad often makes comments about me being fat. "Have you told anyone you are 7 months pregnant?" (I'm NOT!) and sometimes if I am eating doritos or something he will throw them away if I leave the room. It makes me feel horrible. I personally don't think I am that horribly obese, but i feel awful when he does things like that. I've told my mom that it hurts me a lot, and she agrees that he shouldn't do that. She says that he is just overly aware of his un-toned body, and takes it out on me. I have to stop this though. I can't take it anymore. What do I do?

He's not a bad father. I love him very much. He does a lot for me, and i appreciate all of it.

Answer 1

Unfortunately your dad is a very bad communicator. He thinks by humiliating you that its going to help you lose weight. Instead, its only going to drive a wedge between you and your dad. The only thing you can try with him is to say, "Dad, when you say those things to me, I know you are just trying to help, but your comments are hurtful. If you want to help me lose weight than be POSITIVE." What he needs to understand is that he's your roll model and his current style can only lead to trouble. If you are afraid to talk to you dad like I suggested, couldn't your mother have this talk with him?

I swear some parents don't know how they are messing up there kids with their inability to communicate in a healthy manner!!!

Please know that you are beautiful no matter what he says.

Answer 2

At 5'!" and 125 pounds, you have an average BMI. You are not overweight. I am sure your dad is afraid you will get heavy when he sees you snacking but he is handling it in a cruel manner.

What you need to do is tell your dad that you are not overweight. That you know he loves you but how can he hurt you so much? I am sure he doesn't even realize he is hurting you (men can be SO dense...like the one above who asked why you are eating doritos when you are overweight...you aren't overweight!). Tell him that words and actions hurt. That the things he says not only make you feel bad but make you question whether or not he really loves you. If you let him know how he is making you feel, he will probably think twice about making such comments again. However, expect him to slip up a few times before he gets out of the habit.

Answer 3

I agree with open honest conversation. Let him know how you feel when he teases you on your size, and that you need his support to help loose the weight.

Just my opinion, you are somewhat over weight. The good news is that you can change that. But to do so you will have to change your eating habits and start incorporating more healthy exercises into your life habits too.

I'm not trying to be insensitive to your situation, you have two battles to deal with. First, your father is doing more harm than good by destroying your self esteem. This actually lessens the desire to control your weight, so find someone who can and will be supportive of your efforts. Second, your weight is another issue: being overweight like that will lead to diabetes and other health issues that will seriously shorten your life.

Regardless of whether you have support or not, start loosing the weight and become dedicated to that end, and don't give up until you succeed. YOU CAN SUCCEED. You will. And you will be happier for it too.

But remember, it is a life long commitment to control your weight. Stay away from fast foods, junk foods and large portions.

Eat smart and be healthy.

Answer 4

wow. well, you are defiantely just right with your weight, so don't let your father convince you otherwise. try having your mom talk to him first, and if that doesn't work, try confronting him openly. say something like "do you think i'm fat or something?" if he says no, than ask him why he acts the way he does. if he says yes, than ask why. remind him that you are not a supermodel, you're a human being! your weight is nothing at all to be ashamed of for your height, i would know.

also, you can just loose it and free style scream at him too. which ever you're more comfortable with. but i suggest some sort of strategized approach so you can come out on top.

Answer 5

Tell him how this makes you feel--try to do it in person but a note will work. If you want to get in better shape ask him to work out with you and diet with you instead of just making comments about your weight. This would be good for both of you and ya'll relationship. I that doesn't work. I think he is just concerned about your health. Men generally don't know how to come across without insulting people when it comes to topics like this. So don't take it too personal he probably just wants you to be aware of your weight and to eat heathier. Try getting your mom to sit and talk to him with you too if you think it will help'

Answer 6

Just tell him how you feel. Don't dance around the subject to try and make it easier on him. He hurts you with his words and actions and it must stop. You may want to suggest that if his own body image issues are what is triggering his comments that he should take himself to the gym and watch what he puts in his mouth, instead of this passive aggressive behavior of his. The things we eat and the way we eat are taught to us by our parents. He should own up to the fact that he's not perfect, no one is.

And the biggest issue of all is that he is contributing to the possible birth of an eating disorder.

Answer 7

I'm 5'3 and 110 and I feel pretty overweight, because I'm also constantly reminded that I'm not anorexically thin. I'm not fat at all, but I do have a little bit of baby fat on my tummy that doesn't look bad or gross, but my step-dad constantly reminds me of it and makes fun of me when I eat junk-food instead of the usual salad or something. Tell him that you aren't fat, and that if he has a problem with weight HE should go get some exercise.

Answer 8

Talk to him. Tell him how it makes you feel. Don't be afraid he'll think you're a "pussy" or something. He won't. I was overweight my entire childhood, until age 15 when it finally hit me after I talked to my uncle that I should worry about working out more. I probably should have talked to my dad, though. If you want to start working out, that is your decision, but you are short so don't let yourself fall into the "I'm fat" thing too quickly. Should you grow, you'll look skinnier then ever.

Answer 9

tell him that u cant help that u are built the way u are and if he has a problem about weight go find some help. Any ways my ex girlfriend was 195lbs and only 5/6 so u are really small compared to her and a lot of other people actually u probably look healthy
and your not fat

Answer 10

Oh hunny....this is awful. I don't know you or your overall personality so it's hard to say exactly what you should do. I guess the question is have you EVER said anything to him about this? Or do you just keep quiet? Maybe a good temper tantrum about it would shock him into keeping HIS mouth shut. I'm not suggesting you be disrespectful but sometimes it take a shock factor for others to see the damage they are doing. Good luck....I'm sure you are beautiful!

Answer 11

You probably aren't obese at all
your father just wants the best for his daughter
he wants you to be pretty and happy with yourself
trust me, i had the same problem with my dad
Just tell him how it makes you feel and that if you are happy with how you look, he should be happy for you
Not many people are truly comfortable with the way they look even if they have a good body
Tell your dad that if you are healthy and happy then he should not have a problem with your weight- Does he want you to go anorexic or something?