Mine:
A man dies and is met by an angel in heaven who leads him through a series of buildings with long halls and lots of doors. As they pass one, the man hears music and laughter and looks at the angel as if to ask, "what's in there?". The angel says, "Take a look." Inside he sees a bunch of Buddhists all enjoying a big party.
Wow, this is great!, thinks the man. The next door holds a bunch of partying Jews, the next a bunch of fun loving Muslims and on and on seeing every group from Earth down the hall. The man is really excited!
A bit further along he reaches for a door and the angel makes a "sssh!" finger to mouth gesture and guides him quietly past the door. When they are far enough away he asks the angel, what was in there?
"That's the Christian Fundamentalists. They think they're the only ones here."
2006-06-21 05:59:58 · 24 answers · asked by Mimi Di 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have always liked that one. My favorite (sorry if it offends anyone; it's pretty crude):
Q: Why do so many women love Jesus?
A: Because he was hung like this... (hold arms out wide)
EDIT:
Ooh, I just remembered one:
Q: Why was Jesus crucified instead of being stoned to death?
A: So catholics could do this (make the sign of the cross) instead of doing this (hit yourself in the head repeatedly).
It's a visual joke, obviously.
2006-06-21 06:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by marbledog 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A flood is in the area. A truck comes along asking a man if he wants a lift out of there. the man says I'm waiting for Jesus to save me. As the water rises someone in a boat comes a long asks the same question gets the same answer. I'm waiting for Jesus to save me. Now the man is on the roof and a helicopter comes by but the man still insist on waiting for Jesus. He drowns and looks for heaven but finds none. When he cries for Jesus mother nature says humans are meant to help one another ain't no Jesus here. You're dead.
2006-06-21 06:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A member of the Catholic church comes to the church and asks the Dioceses to help his family.
"Fathers, my wife and I have had so many children that we are having a hard time paying for them. Is there anyway that you could possibly give us some monetary support."
So the Dioceses recognizing that they have been faithful to the church and have not used birth control, they give him a job as the grounds keeper.
Years go by and the man makes plenty of money working as the grounds keeper. Him and his wife continue to have children. The man goes and asks the Dioceses for a raise every six months. Finally after the dioceses have given him all the raises that they can, he comes before them again to ask for more money for his growing family.
"Please Fathers, my growing family needs the help and we have been faithful," says the man. "We've had so many troubles lately and my wife is pregnant again. When it rains it pours."
One of the fathers looked around at the other fathers and pipes up.
"Well my son, for anyone else, when it pours, they put on their rubbers."
2006-06-21 06:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A minister, a rabbi, and a clergyman meet on trip, and initiate conversing approximately their church homes. It seems all 3 of their homes are infested with mice. they adjust to fulfill back the subsequent year and communicate their answer. the subsequent year they meet as planed, an the minister says "nicely, we took up a particular series to hire an exterminator. He did a sturdy pastime, yet six months later the mice have been back. The rabbi says "We observed some cats from the community shield and set them up interior the synagogue. labored like a attraction! yet as quickly as the mice have been long gone, the cats ran away, and then the mice come back!" The priest basically sat there smiling till the different 2 demanded to pay attention his answer. "user-friendly, truly. We baptized the mice, and now we in user-friendly terms see them at Christmas and Easter."
2016-10-31 06:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Humor is a creation of God too! As long as the joke merely pokes fun at some quirk or aspect of a religion, and has no particular malice, I think it is healthy to laugh about it. By the way, I've heard multiple versions of yours and it's a good'n.
2006-06-21 06:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by aboukir200 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once Prophet Muhammad was riding a camel and suddenly Jesus comes with a Mercedes SL 600 and passes by him so fast. Prophet Mohammad says to himself If my mom had also ****** God and got pregnant by him I would be riding a Mercedes too !
2006-06-21 06:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by bandari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 3 passengers on a small plane; Jesus, a fundamentalist preacher, and a young boy.
The pilot announces; "The plane is going to crash and we have only 2 parachutes".
Jesus says; " This is my second coming, I must arrive in one piece, bless you both". And He jumps.
The fundamentalist says; "Sorry, son. I am the only chosen one to arrive on the earth with my Lord." And with that he leaps from the plane.
The pilot says, "Sorry, Kid, it just you and me, now".
The boy responds as he dives from the plane, " No, its just you, the fundamentalist grabbed my backpack".
2006-06-21 06:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
2006-06-21 06:12:06 · answer #8 · answered by Robert B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the blonde go to church?
She heard there was a guy in there hung like this.
Arm gestures needed, of course!
2006-06-21 06:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a group of nuns are riding bike and they go over some rail road tracks and start giggling the mother supeior says SHHHH they keep going and come across some pot holes and they all giggle again and the mother supeior says SHHHHHHHH and they keep going and they come to a real washboard bumby road and the nuns are going nuts with glee. the mother superior says THATS IT WE ARE GOING BACK NOW TO PUT THE SEATS BACK ON THE POSTS!!!!!
2006-06-21 06:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by mournyngwolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋