Women... why do you stay with men who mistreat you?

Question

I have seen it so many times a guy cheats or hits or acts like he owns a woman... and no matter what she won't leave him..I stopped a guy punching his lady in the face one time,, and she jumped on my back and tried to defend the guy who just punched her in the face..... I don't get it.

Answer 1

most because they are afraid to leave. Also because it may be the only love they have ever known.

Answer 2

Women have many "reasons" that they stay with that kind of man. Mainly they either think they love them and can make them change, or they think they've done something to deserve the treatment. Sometimes in an abusive relationship the woman is made to feel at fault and that she is no good and no other person would want her anyway.

Shades Of Purple

There she is again
I've seen her before
A broken spirit
Unable to soar
She gently dabs
at the blood on her lip
And swipes the tears away
as she tries to get a grip
She must stay quiet
Perhaps he'll forget
And in the morning
be full of regret
'I'm sorry...I love you'
Shes heard it before
A million times
if not more.
She swore, 'Next time I'm gonna leave.'
Each time his fresh promises
She wanted to believe
She looked in the mirror
with a sigh of defeat
As shades of purple
began to take seat
A little make up
will cover the bruise
It's an art she's perfected
each time she would lose
This woman, a stranger
Hardly got a second glance
I wondered if she'd leave
If she had the chance
I've tried to get through to her
Many times before
So I turn away from the mirror
and sink to the floor.
' Next time I'm going to leave.'


© 2002 Cheryl Korfman (All rights reserved)

Answer 3

What that guy did was really disrespectful, anyways, most women stay with men who do that are either

1. Stupid like the girl who jumped on your back and tried to defend the abusive asshole

2. They have no self esteem, and think that the man she's with is the only one who will love her.

Answer 4

When you love someone that much, you get blinded by them. You really do think they will change when they apologize for hurting you. I was in an abusive marriage and finally got the courage to leave after 4 years. It was hard - especially when he claims suicide all the time. I thought my husband would change but recently found out that he is now doing the same things to his girlfriend. It is a wonder he has been married 2 times with 4 kids that he doesn't see!

Answer 5

The reason may seem kind of stupid .... but after being one of those women, they lack the self-esteem to be their own person. They believe that the guy loves them and won't leave if they let it go on.
But the minute they retaliate he will leave. It is all about self-esteem. They can't get it from others, they have to build it for themselves and no matter what other people say, they won't leave till they realize enough is enough.

Answer 6

I don't think you are going to get a woman who is mistreated to think about answering this question. My mother is in an abusive relationship and she doesn't think anything is wrong. I don't know if she thinks she deserves it or she really does love the #%#@. Either way, I think that low self esteem plays a part.

Answer 7

"The only logical explanation to that is they feel as if they are not good enough to find someone better. It may be a learned trait. Let's say my mother was married to an abusive drunk and it was accepted that he beat her up and cheateed when he got drunk. Then when he was sober he was the nicest man in the world. I would grow up assuming that that is ok and I would put up with it until I seen for myself that it is not healthy."

If you see that as healthy, you are retarded. People who just take things for what they will never think for themselves and be stuck in these types of patterns. Sad, but true.

Answer 8

The only logical explanation to that is they feel as if they are not good enough to find someone better. It may be a learned trait. Let's say my mother was married to an abusive drunk and it was accepted that he beat her up and cheateed when he got drunk. Then when he was sober he was the nicest man in the world. I would grow up assuming that that is ok and I would put up with it until I seen for myself that it is not healthy.

Answer 9

they're scared....no self confidence, think he isnt doing anything wrong, think they deserve it, no self respect, afraid of not having a boyfriend period.....and its the stupidest thing ive ever heard

any of those, my boyfriend absolutely hates situations like that and he will say something or confront a guy if we're out and he's treating her wrong...ive seen him do it plenty of times, and in one instance he was cussin at the girl and slapped her and my b/f hit the guy and the girl slapped ME and told me to get my b/f off hers...that ended well.....

and everyone that said for the kids...ARE YOU F****ING OFF YOUR BLOCK?????? IF HE'S WILLING TO HIT THE WOMAN HE'LL PROBABLY HIT THE GIRL, IF YOU ARENT SMART ENOUGH TO LEAVE THE BAS**** TO SAVE POSSIBLY YOUR KIDS LIFE, then you are a complete idiot...get some self respect, and an education....dont be so damn ignorant....how can you love someone that wants to see you in pain? do you think he seriously loves you?

Answer 10

i had been in a bad marriage for 20 years. thought i had to stay to keep my family together. and also i was afraid to be alone. when you are degraded and your self worth is put down some times it takes a lot to get you to realize that you dont need that life. finaly took me hitting rock bottom and getting so depressed i saw a dr
then i got help to leave. but i still ended up alone.

Answer 11

I've never understood that one myself but I will watch and see what people answer. The only thing I can think of is that there is something in their psychological makeup that needs the abuse. Abusers seem to find people that like to be abused the same as alcoholics find each other, drug abusers, gamblers, and so on.