My fiance and I were together for about 4 years. The relationship was absolutely amazing. We stayed with his parents for a while to save money for our place. Unfortunately, his mother did EVERYTHING for him. She paid for his car, his gas, and the insurance all he had to do was drive it. So, we sold that car and got him a nice truck- his payments, in his name. Now he pays for it all. We were suppose to move into our own place on July 1st. We'd even gone shopping for things. Then all of a sudden- it's over. He picks a fight with me about a car stereo, tells me to get my things and leave and his reasons? - You have too much attitude, I don't want a relationship, I'm concentrating on my dirt bike career, we weren't giving the relationship 100%. Okay...The ring was on my finger and we were going to Mexico this Oct to wed. A lot of people are saying he's scared and getting cold feet. But everytime i speak to him he says he doesnt want a relationship and I should date if i want to... read on
2006-06-21 05:24:09 · 12 answers · asked by monetmanagement 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
So, he's been calling and saying things like I love you and I miss you. I'm moving into my own place on July 15th. By myself. Everyone says he'll be back and ready- but not speaking to him kills me. He says he doesnt want to see anyone and that later on in life if we meet up maybe we'll be together again? okay.... Think he'll come calling if i totally ignore him and treat him like i dont have time for him? Honest answers. He's not the type to mess around, he's a wholesome guy.
2006-06-21 05:25:44 · update #1
Don't answer the calls. He is obviously confused and reliant on his mother. You want an independent guy, don't you?
2006-06-21 06:02:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay so it took 4 years of dating & living at his Mom's for all of this to finally come out? Thank God you weren't married already!
Do you want to have to worry about crap like this for the rest of your life?
Cut your losses & forget this guy... 4 years investment into this relationship should be chalked up to 4 years of valuable lessons! Sometimes it takes less or longer to really, REALLY get to know someone...
his Mom letting you move in rent free, with no obligations was the 1st clue... his Mom paying for all his stuff with him taking no responsiblitiy was the 2nd clue. This man is a moocher & he has mooched on you for morale support & love. Is this what you get in return???
It may have been a good thing once, but it is no more.
It may hurt like the dickens now...but you will get over him & later you will thank your lucky stars that this relationship ended.
As the old fashion saying goes: "there are a lot more fish in the sea"...so my dear GO FISHING & observe the "catch & release" rule for awhile...don't jump into another frying pan.
Mr. Right will come along & you will recogniz him when he does! This is where thanking your lucky stars happens! :-)
And if this doens't convince you...how about this.... If he is like this NOW how will he be in the F"UTURE as a husband with house payments, career?, children? ...
And if you're thinking 4 years is a long time.... the average American female now lives to the ripe old age of 84. 4 yrs is only 1/24th of a lifetime!
Best Wishes!
2006-06-21 05:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by kueria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in my own opinion yes he will come crawling back to you. Because he sees you going on with your life and he wants to be apart of that. I think maybe if he got away from his mother he would be just fine. But since he is still currently living with his mother it will not work. If he loves you as much as he says he does the reasons he gave you are just a sign of being scared to leave the comfort of what he is used to and that is him being a mommas boy. Which I find most common of people being scared to grow up and being responsible for things if general life. So I would continue doing what your doing but be careful because it can backfire on you. But if you talk to him maybe just once a week it might help you both sort through things slowly. You could go on ignoring him and then he thinks you do not want him anymore. Sometimes ignoring a person tends to push them away even more. But it is up to you and what your heart says to do. Nobody can tell you how to live your life. He was probably having a bad day and took it out on you which is not the right thing to do. He needs to be able to talk to you and his dreams and ambition just as you could with him. So good luck and CONGRATS on your new apartment!!
2006-06-21 06:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by cici 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider this crazy but it broke my heart. We traveled 60 miles on some roads that weren't quite cleared of all the snow yet just to watch our high school girls basketball team play in the regionals. They won the first game at 11:00 and then they played the championship game at 8:30 and they ended up losing by 1 point with 3.5 seconds left of the game. The other team ended up making 2 free throws which led to their win. What a heartbreak and it was a long ride home! Crazy, probably not, but sad it was!
2016-05-20 09:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Momma got her nose in there!
Unless you move away, she will get involved again. Play it cool for a bit, and let him know he has to earn your trust again. After a while ask if he will choose you over his mom. If he says no-RUN!
If he says yes, don't just fall back into the same old thing again. Make him work for it a bit. Don't move right in, don't have sex yet. This will bring out his true colours.
Methinks he be not as wholesome as previously believed. Be careful.
2006-06-21 05:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by canadianrobynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there & done that!
I agree with what others have answered. He is immature, he probably always will be. Why would you want to stay with a person like this for life anyway?
Learn from this experience & go find someone more on your level of maturity.
He starts calling & wanting you back? Remember he is the one who asked you to move out & you have gotten on with your life.
My answer: "Sorry bucko, you asked me to leave & I did, I have gotten on with my life, now get on with yours."
Simply put: I wouldn't invest anymore time or effort into something that has only yielded frustrations & heartache, it ain't worth the investment!
2006-06-21 06:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by petuniablues 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get involved with a man that cannot commit to you 100%. Not to mention, do you want to marry him - - or him and his mother? Cause it sounds like if you stick with him, it would be the later.
Only YOU can make yourself happy. Find yourself a guy who doesnt play such games.
2006-06-21 05:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a "Momma's Boy" and she will never allow him to cut the apron strings as she is still in controle of his life. Realize this and move on to a "Real Man".
2006-06-21 05:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by JIM S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, he's a momma's boy and always will be. You took control of him and she wasn't going to have that. Move on - he's still attached to her hip and if you marry him, you will marry her.
2006-06-21 06:38:43 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he will come back if you give him some space, this is alot for him to grasp, i mean come on, living with mommy all his life and now this, thats a BIG jump, just give it some time and dont rush anything
2006-06-21 05:52:59 · answer #10 · answered by matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋