Can't Sleep- Desperate?

Question

I can't sleep as my heart not feeling well cos desperate. Very sad like dooms days. I'd drink liquor but cant help to zz too. The person that I love will never marriage to me. We're totally different part of the world. But I love her much, she used to always chat/talk with me but recently she had changed as her family force her to marry other guy. I was damn sad and didn't know how to conquer. I was like demotivated and wish to overcome ASAP. No meaning to live without her treating so good as before. very unhappy. HOpe you can help.Pls advice.

Answer 1

for the sake of better sleep:

1. Keep regular hours. The best way to ensure perfect nights is to stick to a regular schedule. If you sleep late one morning and rise before dawn the next, you can come down with a home-bound version of jet lag. To keep your biological clock in sync, get up at the same time, regardless of how much or how little you've slept.
Try to stick close to your usual sleep schedule on weekends and holidays as well as workdays. If you stay up late on Friday and Saturday nights and sleep-in the following mornings you may give yourself a case of "Sunday-night insomnia": You get to bed early to be bright eyed on Monday morning and try to sleep, but you can't. The harder you try, the more wakeful you feel. When travel or work throws of your routine, try to maintain some semblance of regularity. Eat your meals at the same times you normally do. Try to get some sleep during your usual bedtime hours. And return to your normal schedule as soon as you can.

2. Exercise regularly. Exercise enhances sleep by burning off the tensions that accumulate during the day, allowing both the body and mind to unwind. While the fit seem to sleep better and deeper than the flabby, you don't have to push to utter exhaustion. A 20 to 30 minute walk, jog, swim or bicycle ride at least three days a week--the minimum for cardiovascular benefits--should be your goal.
But don't wait too late in the day to exercise. In the evening, you should be concentrating on winding down rather than working up a sweat. And don't expect early-morning exercise to have any impact on the tensions that build up during the day. The ideal exercise time is late afternoon or early evening, when your workout can help you shift gears from daytime pressures to evening pleasures.
3. Cut down on stimulants. North Americans drink 400 million cups of coffee a day and get extra doses in tea, cola drinks (including diet colas) and chocolate. Some people seem sensitive to even small amounts; others build up a tolerance.
If you're a coffee lover, have your last cup of the day no later than six to eight hours before your bedtime. Its stimulating effects will peak for two to four hours later, although they'll linger for several hours more. Late-evening caffeine can make it harder for you to fall asleep, diminish deep sleep and increase nighttime awakening.

Caffeine isn't the only dietary sleep-robber. Tyrosine, a substance found in chocolate, Chianti and cheddar cheese can trigger heart palpitations in the night. Diet pills contain stimulants that can keep you awake. Other drugstore drug interactions can also disrupt you nights. If you're taking any prescription or over-the-counter drugs, ask your doctor whether they may affect your sleep.

4. Sleep on a good bed. A good night's sleep starts from the bottom up. You're less likely to get deep, solid, restful sleep on a bed that's too small, too soft, too hard or just plain too old. Unfortunately, we tend to get used to our old mattresses and box springs--just like a broken-down pair of old running shoes--and may not realize they've gradually been losing their comfort and support. If your bed is older than eight to ten years, use our on-line bed check to determine if it is ready for retirement. In selecting a new sleep set, follow Goldilocks' rule: Try a variety of mattresses and choose the one that feels just right for you.
5. Don't smoke. Nicotine is an even stronger stimulant than caffeine. According to several studies, heavy smokers take longer to fall asleep, awaken more often and spend less time in REM and deep NREM sleep. Because nicotine withdrawal can start two to three hours after their last puff, some smokers wake in the night craving a cigarette. When smokers break their nicotine habit, their sleep improves dramatically. In one study, two-pack-a-day smokers who quit cut the time they lay awake in bed by almost half.
6. Drink only in moderation. Alcohol is the oldest most popular sleep aid. Although a nightcap is a habit for many, liquor late in the evening may mean problems throughout the night. Even moderate drinking can suppress REM and deep NREM sleep and accelerate shifts between sleep stages. Too much alcohol with dinner can make it harder to fall asleep and too much at bedtime can make it harder to stay asleep. As the immediate effects of alcohol wear off, REM sleep-which alcohol suppresses-intrudes upon other sleep stages, depriving your body of deep rest. You end up sleeping in fragments and waking often in the early-morning hours.
7. Go for quality, not just quantity. Six hours of good, solid sleep can make you feel more rested than eight hours of light or disturbed sleep. Limiting the time you spend in bed to what you need and no more, deepens sleep; allowing yourself to doze on and off for many hours leads to lighter, more fragmented sleep. Don't feel that you have to log eight hours. If five hours are enough to recharge your battery, consider yourself lucky. You're not an insomniac, just a naturally short sleeper.
8. Set aside a worry or planning time early in the evening. If you lie in bed thinking of what you should have done during the day or have to do the next day, try to deal with such distractions before getting into bed. Make lists so you don't feel you have to keep reminding yourself of things to do. Write out anxieties or worries and possible solutions. If daytime distractions follow you into bed, tell yourself you'll deal with them during the next day's worry time.
9. Don't go to bed stuffed or starved. A big meal late at night forces your digestive system to work overtime. While you may feel drowsy initially, you'll probably toss and turn through the night. Avoid peanuts, beans, fruits or raw vegetables that can cause gas. And stay away from snacks (like pastries or potato chips) that are high in fat -- they take longer to digest.
But if you're dieting, don't go to bed hungry. A rumbling stomach, like any other physical discomfort, interferes with your ability to settle down and slumber through the night. Have a low-calorie snack, such as a banana or apple, before turning in.

10. Develop a sleep ritual. Before you can slide into sleep, you've got to leave behind the distractions of the waking world. Even very young children find it easier to make the transition into sleep if they repeat a few activities, such as saying prayers or reading a story, every night.
Your sleep ritual can be as simple or as elaborate as you choose. It might start with some gentle stretches to release knots of tension in your muscles or with a warm bath. Maybe you like to listen to some quiet music or curl up with a not-too-thrilling book. Whatever you choose, be sure to do the some things every evening until they become cues for your body to settle down for the night.

Answer 2

Dear Alien:

I tried to respond to your e-mail but the system would not let me saying that your e-mail is "unconfirmed." Send me your direct e-mail address, if you want. I am going through the same thing you are and I posted a question but only got two answers. I have to get over my husband. I have allowed him to do so much damage in my life that I've now moved away, changed my phone number and e-mail address(this is the old one that I'm writing from and if he has sent me an e-mail I will have to have the fortitude to erase it without reading it.). He probably hasn't even noticed yet because he's so busy trolling around the internet looking for something "better" while I'm raising our two young children by myself. I need to get a divorce but can not afford a lawyer to hide behind. Do not feel strong enough now to face him and do the divorce myself. If I have to see him, I will probably end up in bed with him and he will hurt me all over again. I have to hold it together for the kids. Also, knowing how he opperates, he will try to get visitation with the kids just to have some contact with me and provoke me, thereby putting me in the position of showing the court how unsuitable he is and that visitation would have to be supervised. It's all a big tangled mess. I need the divorce for closure but I have to stay away from him until I am stronger.

Anyway, my advice to you: 1. Start a new activity 2. Get plenty of sunshine, fresh air and exercise everyday 3. Put an elastic band around your wrist, and everytime you start thinking about the situation that hurts you, snap the band hard, take a deep breath and exhale saying, "I'm O.K." You could vary this by snapping the band, dropping and doing several push-ups, saying "I'm O.K." as you push up. This way you will be working on a gorgeous new boby at the same time and the key here is renewal, isn't it? 4. Please don't drink. It may make you feel better, initially but ultimately, alcohol is a depressant and will add to your problems. 5. Find a stone to hold at night, one that fits neatly into the palm of your hand, once again, keep repeating, "I'm O.K. (without her.)" while you hold the stone. Lepidilite is particularly good for sleep issues. If you can not find any where you are, I will be happy to send you some provided you feel comfortable giving your address. 6. Answer some other people's questions. Helping others will help you. Just be careful not to spend too much time on the computer 7. Change your habits enough that you no longer incorporate things in your life that remind you of her. 8. Pray. If you do not believe in God, per se, pray to the universe. Open yourself to the will of heaven, knowing that when you get through this you will be a stronger person. It's hard to imagine it now but there must be something better waiting for you out there!

I wish you all the best. Please let me know how you get on. [e-mail]

Answer 3

Forget the liquor. If you really can't sleep, go to a doctor or counselor and have something prescribed temporarily for sleeping. The problem with not sleeping is that you become more unbalanced and will have trouble making good choices.

Whether her parents "forced" her or not, your friend still married that other man, so she is now a married woman. You need to move on. With the help of counseling, I'm sure you will be able to do this. I am sorry for your broken heart.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

There are a lot of great articles and information on how stress can effect sleep at ( http://www.reducingstress.net ). there are also many tips for solving the problem.

Answer 6

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