After Hurricane Katrina I moved from New Orleans to Atlanta. Ironically, my dad lives there and stays less than a mile from my job. I've contemplaed the idea of meeting/seeing him again but it's really akward. He's also very inviting but it's really weird knowing that he is optimistic about the situation while Im kinda lacksidaisy about it. What should I do?
2006-06-21 04:47:51 · 25 answers · asked by Randi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
be yourself
2006-06-21 04:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by L.J. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is tough I am 34 and I have not seen my "sperm donor" since I was 3 years old. After my mom dicorced him she met and married my dad, he adopted my sister and I, while I hink about him occaisionally, I really have no desire to meet him, I am interested to know if I have any sisters or brothers, I have been told I do, but I am not sure. There were thoughts about contacting him when I had my kids and I got married, but then I realized that he had all this time to be there and HE chose not to be. It was nothing I did, HE is the one that stayed away. I know he lives and always has lived about an hour away, and even then nothing. To me there is always a part of me that wonders, but I would never act on it, my dad has always said it would not hurt him if we ever tried to contact him and that he would help in anyway he could, but I know he did not give me life, and was not there when I was born, but he is my dad, and no matter what the sperm donor has to say to me, it will never change the fact that he ignored, abandoned his kids and left a stranger to raise his kids. It is up to you, but I would say let things be. he was not there for the bad and good times for you, he does not need to be there now, just because it is convienent for him.
2006-06-21 11:58:05 · answer #2 · answered by portagemomof4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never met my dad, and I really want to even though he left my mother, I still want to meet him to ask why he did what he did. But if you feel strange inside for any reason, maybe you should just call him and let him know that. He should have tried to be there from the get, you really shouldn't have to go out of your way to meet the person who helped create you. It was their choice to have you. All I know is you're blessed to have survived Hurricane Katrina, be strong!!!
2006-06-21 14:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by graciefaith1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw my Dad for the first time in 15 years this past March. I was leery of it because I'd only seen him a total of 2 times since I was 6 years old. I'm in my 30's now, and I finally decided to see him because he won't be around forever. I had questions I wanted him to answer and if something happened to him, then I'd never get the answers. We have a good relationship now, but sometimes it's not easy. It's hard to forget that he was a dead beat dad, but what matters is he's here now. Good luck.
2006-06-21 11:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by GAgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should meet with him but do it for yourself not for him. What I mean is that this could be the start to the relationship that you should have always had, it could be a comfortable relationship with your father but not completely close as it could have been, or it could be closer that you have always needed. But whatever you do it has to be about what is good for you because you can not make up for his mistake but if you hold it against him you will leave yourself open to issues that need to be faced.
My father has been in and out of my life for over 20 years, I mean I might not see or hear from him foe years and then he will call me out of the blue, and I had to make the decision that I could not jump to follow every time he fault like being a father to me and little sister and brother. I will see him if I can but I no longer drop everything for the change to and my brother has decided that he did not want to because this man had only seen him twice in 17 years. And that is his choice and I do not try to change it and he does not try to change my mind, and see you have to make the same choice and then live with it.
2006-06-21 12:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by spyder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go meet with him, but don't expect too much. I met my brother for the first time 10 years ago when I was 35. He was so much like my father (even though he had never met my father).
Look at it like meeting someone interesting. Don't put too much into it at first. (that will save on any disappointment). It is obvious that he wants to see you as well - perhaps just to know how you turned out.
Good luck!
2006-06-21 11:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. PhD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can meet for "coffee/tea and cake". Talk to him for a little bit. You can also do lunch or dinner. Just try to make time for him so he can get to know you. I think you should at least try.
It's hard not to know your Dad. I would be curious, and I would want to know what he's like. This way, you can learn to relax/relate with him. Having a family is a gift that you should learn to treasure and keep. Unless something happens to mess it up, you should at least give it a try.
2006-06-21 11:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by fran c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should meet him. Ask him to join you for breakfast at IHOP or the Waffle House or some place like that on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's neutral territory, you see each other, you see how it goes, and take it from there. You never know. Good luck.
2006-06-21 11:54:49 · answer #8 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do some major soul searching to find out if you need to see him. He is your father, but maybe you don't need to see him. Maybe you could just talk over the phone for a bit and see how things go from there.
2006-06-21 11:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by tom8o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so basically u havent seen your dad for 23 years!!! I would hav to say don't go and meet your dad because if he's been gone 4 this long and you havent seen him then why go and bother with it now? If he really wanted to see you then he would hav come visit you, but if you really feel like you need to see him then go for it.
2006-06-21 11:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by George S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation. except i was thirteen and my dad wanted to meet me. so i did. i think the best thing for you to do is to meet with him and see if you would like to have some sort of relationship with him.
2006-06-21 11:51:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋