how bad is it?

Question

ok i once heard a woman say that she loved her son dearly but that she disliked/hated him. are you a bad mother or person for feeling that way?

i have to admit i know her son and he is a monster to me.

Answer 1

I think everyone goes through times where they might love someone but they don't like them at the moment. For example, I love my son unconditionally, but from the time he was about 11 to 14 I couldn't stand to be around him -- he argued with me about everything. He was loved and cared for, but gosh, I didn't like him much during that time!

Answer 2

This is such a funny question to me BECAUSE......my husband and I often remark to each other and family and friends HOW MUCH we love our daughter AND like her so MUCH as well.

When I was growing up I always felt loved....not liked too much but loved. With her well WOW she is just the greatest, kindest, funniest little chick in the whole world (she is 7 by the way).

So I can completely understand how the mother you speak of felt that way. Because I understand doesn't mean she is good or bad....I just understand. Being a parent is a very hard job.

Peace

Answer 3

I think she is a bad mother for not being able to come to terms with whatever she hates about him. Its like she loves him simply because he's her son. She hates him for the certain choices he makes in life or maybe how he lives his life. She needs to come to terms with herself and figure out what she dislikes and accept it or at least come to some sort of conclusion because a mother-son relationship shouldn't be like that at all. They should be able to talk to eachother about anything. well almost anything.

Answer 4

You can love someone dearly and still dislike what they do or the way they act. She's not a bad parent, just needs to look into some behavior modifications to solve her AND his behavior problem.

Answer 5

Some mothers have a hatred for her kids because of their father or something that they remind them of. It doesn't make them terrible parents unless they neglect that child and the child knows how much their mother hates them. The best thing for this mother to do is to let someone else take her child so that there is no hatred pushed onto him.

Answer 6

My mother in law has said this. "I'll always love my kids but I don't always have to like the,." All people do stupid things and there are times when we don't like our kids' actions. You're not a bad parent if you say that you don't like your child right now....there's a big difference in not liking something and hating it. My kids are still too little to do anything yet, but i'm sure when they hit puberty there will be a few times that I won't like them. I love them more than anything and I always will

Answer 7

If the son knows that he is that welcome in her life it can't lead him to a feeling of good self worth. It depends on age and what kinds of things are going on in the house. This is not the place to decide a question such as this. If your own family hates you, his life will have a different out come than a nurturing atmosphere.

Answer 8

Totally not a bad parent or person for feeling this way.

If one of my kids turned out to be a mass murderer, there's the mom part of me that would still love them, but I sure as he** wouldn't like them or what they had done!

Answer 9

Nope. I love my father unconditionally, but the I dislike who he is as a person. Just because he is my relative doesn't mean I have to like him or agree with what he does. This sounds like a similar situation.

Answer 10

Well lets see. I love all my children, but on occasions I dislike the way that they are acting. I dont think that if you say to your children that your behaivor is something that I don't like it does not mean you are a bad parent.