I stay 350 kms away from my home as my working place is in a separate city. Due to the committements made I am forced to take up the job for better career prospectus. I have son aged 10 yrs & 3 yrs old daughter, my wife working- mother taking care of the family. Many a times I feel guilty that I am not taking care of the family in right way & putting burden on my wife & mother. How do I handle this & how my staying away will affect my future relationship with my kids.
2006-06-21 04:25:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anilkumar t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your kids will think and feel that u was never really there for them growing up. that will hurt them, and they could end up resenting you for being away so much. your kids are little once, you should find a way to be with them...can your wife work in the city where you are? you should work together for what's better for them, and kids can move, that would be better than not having you around them.
how about when they become teenagers...it's tough to handle anyways, and it's even harder for a mom that's on her on most of the time!
2006-06-21 04:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by thundakat312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I would say that you and your wife need to work together on keeping the children in touch with you and the meeting once a week is good but I was wondering if you might be able to come home for some long week-ends when possible and also on any holidays. You should if at all possible talk to the children each night before there bedtime and also to your wife as this will keep you and them in touch and connected with daily life. I would also work on trying to find a way to get the family back together in one city as soon as possible as this will be the ideal way to keep the family relationship together and healthy. I do not know what your relationship with God is but developing a strong relationship with him will also help you to be strong and at peace while you are working through this time in your family life and with prayer to him he will show you how to bring the family together as a unit in one city as soon as you can. Remember with God all things are possible.
2006-06-21 11:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is not the way to live, you must find a way to move somewhere you all can be together or move them to where you are now. it is not good for your marriage let alone for the children not to have you full-time. there comes a time that you must decide what is most important in your life and that answer should be your wife and children. your daughter is only 3yrs old you are missing so much of her life. you need to take action now. if there is a will there is a way. best of luck!!!
2006-06-21 11:34:59 · answer #3 · answered by captures_sunsets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard one.. and take it from me... growing up in that situation isnt easy... ok so mine was a litle different to yours, when i was growing up my dad left for work before i was up and got home after i went to bed 7 days a week, and one of my first memories is going to his work on fathers day just so i would be able to see him for 10 mins, and for a long time it did strain us... and their marriage and eventually my mum left him, and i didnt have anything to do with him for a very long time because i didnt understand... now im a lot older and my dad is my best friend in the entire universe, and i know he did it to give me and my sisters and my mum the bes of everything, because he never wnted us to have to want for anything like he did... and it took a while for my dad and i to come back together again but we did...
if this is your lifesyle make sure you make special time for all 3 of them when you get home, your wife will be missing you too...
My uncle works away 6 weeks home 1... but during his home time he makes sure he doesnt miss a footy game, and that he spends time doing what the kids love and enjoying the company of his wife and they have survived 15 years... so it can be done its not all a disaster, you just have to spend your time the right way when you get home....
If your son has sporting commitments talk to your boss see if you can have that as the day you are home and make it a family day, go with your wife and daughter to watch then get lunch/dinner afterwards... the thing i missed most growing up was that my dad never ever once made it to a dance recital (to see me in the lead role for the first time), swimming meet (to watch me qualify for the state team or win my first gold medal), netball game (to be seleced to represent our town)... those are the things you want to be at and your kids will want you to be at... talk to your boss be there for those things!!! it will show your kids more than anything else that you love them and you care about whats inportant to them.. and your wife will respect that you make an effort for the important things... because she wont have to explain why daddys to busy to be there again and again and again because its hard being the bearer of that news
2006-06-21 11:38:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats ok it wont effect your relationship at this stage,as you see them once a week you should have regular phone contact with all of them especially your son at this age so he knows dads around and you can also get into using web cams too so you can see him and he can even see you more often,it will be stressfull on your wife however perhaps a move for the whole family might be ideal what do you think
2006-06-21 11:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FAMILY COMES FIRST CUZ WHATS THE USE OF HAVING A GOOD JOB IF YOU DONT HAVE YOUR FAMILY THERE TO SUPPORT YOU. YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR FAMILY TRYING TO PURSUE A BETTER CAREER. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A JOB YOUR FAMILY IS OKAY JUST WORK IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE MAJOR JUST A JOB GO HOME AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES.
2006-06-21 11:32:03 · answer #6 · answered by Justin D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is make sure they are loved and they know it. They will respect the fact that you worked hard and sacrificed for them. Don't expect that respect until they reach their 20s though. As for your wife.........Make sure she's satisfied. It's not enough to send money home.
2006-06-21 11:31:23 · answer #7 · answered by glasseye22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will long all your life
since this is not what you desire
for what you had
when you were a child
not this car not this house
not this kinnda money
all you had around
people who loved you
your old dusty bike
money just for cup of coffe
still you were happier
lot more than this
2006-06-21 11:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by Magical M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you love them with all your heart, they will sense it and it won't have negative impact on your relationship. Keep in touch frequently.
2006-06-21 12:13:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must bring ur wife nd chldrn 2 whr u stay.......in d long run,ur relatn wil get worse if u dont do it...
2006-06-21 11:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by N i S H.... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋