Both of my children from previous marriage are already gone from home. I think it is great when they visit - but my new husband tells me he doesn't like change and that they should find somewhere else to stay when they come to town. He thinks they can only be at our house when we are home.
2006-06-21 03:45:23 · 25 answers · asked by chickenrun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would tell him, they are your children, you love them, trust them, and are happy to have them stay with you. If he doesn't feel the same maybe he should go find someplace else to stay during their visit.
2006-06-21 03:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you married him after the kids left home. I've always been able to stay with my Dad and Step Mom when I go home if I want to, but she's know me since I was 12. So we are family. If he doesn't know your kids, then to him they are strangers, even if they are your kids. Would it be possible for them to sleep there, but leave the house when ya'll do? Are they only there for a few days or weeks? The good marriages are based on compromise. So it sounds like if he could agree about them staying there half the time or to sleep, it might be ok. If they have criminal records, disrespect him or you, are horrid or have awful manners...then I understand why he doesn't want them around. But if he wants you around, then you both need to figure out a way to get in agreement about this.
2006-06-21 03:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell your husband that your children are a part of you and if he can't accept them then he needs to rethink the relationship. Family means Father And Mother I love You. If you can't be there for you family then who will? It's not often or every day that your children are there he can be incovience for a while that's what family does for each other. Tell your husband to stop being so selfish ,and what do he have to hide? Be there for your children at all times they need you and I'm pretty sure that you need them to.Some children never experience love from their parents and dont hesistate to continue loving your children. If something happens to either of them (God Forbid) but you won' t forget how you treated them.Remeber love conquers all and children never forget the love their parents showed them, did you?
2006-06-21 04:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by Mz. Tee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last time I checked a marriage involved 2 parties. That means both are allowed to offer their opinions/suggestion/comments. Your husband should understand that when he married you there was a previous family and should respect your decisions to want your family to visit you. He needs to compromise and the whole "doesn't like change" wouldn't cut it with me. I love my child and no one would make me put my child second or not make them feel welcomed.
2006-06-21 03:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh...so when you guys are AWAY from the house (i.e. your home is vacant), your husband doesn't want family to stay over.
I can appreciate his concern.
He may not feel trusting to your kids.
You could help him by offering to lock up anything or any room he wants kept private.
But this isn't really an issue to fight over.
You should respect his concern...and the both of you should find some happy medium that meets both of your needs.
2006-06-21 03:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children came before he did. It doesn't matter if your children are grown or not. I think you should sit down with him and explain to him your reasoning and you both should come to some sort of decision or compromise. It isn't like your children are moving in with you. It sounds to me like he could be acting a bit childish himself. Hopefully an adult conversation with him will do the trick. Just don't let himbe the only one to rule the roost.
2006-06-21 04:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by all8418 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hubby would have to get over it or be gone - Sorry but I am a mother of 8 children and the day that my husband said they could not stay at our home would be a terrible day in this house, I guarantee you that......what is his deal anyway?
2006-06-21 03:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by MS L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say....LOVE ME LOVE MY KIDS. he knew you had children from a previous...Change honey has nothing to do with it. Your new spouse is a control freak who wants to control everything.
Your children should be allowed to visit, stay a few days and then leave! Tell your hubby to deal!
2006-06-28 00:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? are you kidding me? why would you ever let anyone tell you that your kids are not welcome to stay with you? it sounds like your husband has a control issue. why doesn't he want your kids there when you are not home? do your kids steal from him? do they destroy your home? it think you need to sit down and talk to your husband about this.these are your children!!!! unless you have some really bad kids there shouldn't be a problem.
2006-06-21 03:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by KAREN A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are YOUR kids, not his. If he doesn't like it when you want YOUR kids to visit, have him stay somewhere else. Those kids should be #1, no matter what your husband says.
2006-06-21 03:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by ddevilish_txnfml 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋